Funeral car driver with blue and green hair

[Notyouthful]

Earlier this week my parents’ NDN had her funeral. Hearse and a funeral car. My DM noticed that the driver of the funeral car- dressed professionally, but he had dyed blue and green hair in a ponytail about 6 inches long This could been seen from under his top hat.

My DM thought his hair wasn’t suitable for funeral work. She would demand an apology if that happened in any of the funerals she arranged herself

Should everyone dye their hair black for a funeral then?

No just maybe stick to the hair colours that exist naturally-which isn't blue/pink/purple/green.

Is anyone allowed to wear lipstick or eyeshadow that isn’t a natural colour, or have fingernails that are anything other than natural?

The funeral was of OP's parent's neighbours. I doubt they had any part in organising it, so they can't really complain about the hair colour of the driver.

I completely agree.

The colour of someone's hair has absolutely no bearing at all on their suitability for any profession. The narrow-minded attitudes of people who find it inappropriate or 'wrong' in some way tells me much more about their suitability for things..

🙄

Depends on how distracting they are really, I don't think most people would notice that-however hair would be noticed. If people didn't WANT to be noticed they probably wouldn't dye their hair green or blue in the first place.

I think if you have the time to get your knickers in a bunch over someone's hair at a funeral your focus is on the wrong fucking thing.

Because the 2010s was soooooooooooo different?

Exactly. Also, IMO, having colours (other than natural hair colours) in your hair is a bit 'try-hard' and quite 'dated.' I just think it looks a bit naff, and I rarely see it suit anyone...

I’m finding it hard to equate hair colour with an overt disrespect for the dead tbh.

Think I’d be focussing more on the person i’m there to grieve tbh but you do you

I think it’s because there are social ‘norms’ for most occasions and it’s considered unreasonable to stray too far outside of them.
Eg I have a bright pink silk dress that shows some cleavage. It would be considered fine for a wedding or gala dinner but how would you feel if I turned up for an interview as an accountant in it; or indeed at a funeral where everyone else was dressed in black?
Despite protestations on MN that posters never judge on appearance, research shows that the vast majority of people do.

I wouldn’t be demanding apologies from anyone but I do think it’s unprofessional in that line of work. I’m generally someone who would never judge anyone for hair, tattoos, piercings etc but on this occasion I don’t think I’d be very impressed. I’m sure he’s good at his job but it’s surely a role that needs a smart, professional image and green hair does not go with that. Would people be ok with him driving a hearse in a tracksuit? After all it doesn’t affect how he does his job.

It sort of feels like they are pulling the attention which seems wholly inappropriate.
They dress in a particular fashion for a reason, if the driver turned up wearing yellow dungarees covered in purple polka dots it would feel wrong, this is sort of the same thing to me

The Dress Codes exhib at Kensington Palace discussed this precisely.

I think in a way the professional attendants at a funeral are performing, and part of the role is for them not to draw attention to themselves unnecessarily, and very bright hair colour could well come across as deliberately doing that (unlike a driver who just happens to be unusually short or tall say).

I think for some funerals it would be absolutely fine, but probably not fine for enough funerals that it's not a choice that's a good fit for the role.

It really is a mean-spirited curtain-twitcher whose first instinct upon seeing their neighbour’s funeral cortège is to bitch about the hair of one of the drivers.

I wouldn’t like that at all. Appearances do matter and frivolous hair when supposed to look smart and sombre is dreadful.

Funeral directors are supposed to be somber and sober. Does hair colour indicate personality? Well actually, I think it does a bit. Green and blue hair screams wacky! and fun! In all honesty I wouldn’t like it either.

Totally!

I don't agree that it's ok as long as he does his job, because his job isn't just getting a body from A to B. It's about managing a significant occasion in a way that leaves the mourners feeling that the deceased person has been honoured and respected. The funeral directors should do everything they can not to offend the family and that includes not turning up dressed in a way that many people find, if not offensive, perhaps a little bit off. Whether they are right or wrong to feel that way isn't the point. It's unprofessional to take the chance that no one will be offended when it's clear that it would actually upset some people.

But he had a hat on?

I dunno, he wore a black hat so he was dressed for the occasion.

Surely you have to be a bit wacky to be a funeral director in the first place though 😅