Funeral car driver with blue and green hair

[Notyouthful]

Earlier this week my parents’ NDN had her funeral. Hearse and a funeral car. My DM noticed that the driver of the funeral car- dressed professionally, but he had dyed blue and green hair in a ponytail about 6 inches long This could been seen from under his top hat.

My DM thought his hair wasn’t suitable for funeral work. She would demand an apology if that happened in any of the funerals she arranged herself

She would demand an apology over the colour of someone's hair?

All I care about is how they do their job.

1st person, short cropped brown hair. Complete arsehole
2nd person, green and blue hair, the kindest most sympathetic person - ideal for dealing with grief.

I know who id pick.

Well, his employer deemed him suitable to be employed, hair and all. I don't think your DM will get very far with her pearl clutching. Would she have the same issue if he had red hair or must everything be black?

I don’t think that the colour of someone’s hair has anything to do with how professional they are.
Your DM didn’t say he was unprofessional, lacking in empathy, or anything about his character.
So I would say it’s a completely unreasonable view.

I'd say that in the majority of cases someone's hair colour doesn't impact on their ability to do the job.
But in this scenario it feels disrespectful and unprofessional.

Goodness, as long as he was dressed smartly and professionally, and had empathy and respect for the deceased, what does it matter? It doesn't make him a horrible person. I think your DM needs to give her head a wobble and stop judging people on such superficial things.

Dressed professionally, hair in a neat and tidy style (ponytail), polite and courteous, presumably drove the car appropriately too.

I fail to see the issue.

I have to admit I also wouldn’t think it was very professional or sensitive for the employee of a funeral director to have weird or bright coloured hair. Surely it’s kind of the entire point of the job to blend into the background, not to wear anything loud, and not about being an “individual” at work.

But I’d also not think it was a huge deal given so much else to be sad about at a funeral, and not worth a complaint. Perhaps it was a temporary employee?

There's a lady I've seen a couple of times who wears a black silk bonnet thing under her hat, either to contain her extensive hair or to hide the colour. One of the guys she works with had a neck tattoo. But mind you so did the guy they were burying at the first funeral! I think they should perhaps know their audience - the slightly alternative was fine for #1 but the second funeral was for a more traditional older woman who might have raised an eyebrow at it.

Perhaps your NDN or someone on their behalf requested the colour theme.

Why is multi coloured hair disrespectful?

it’s the 21st century. I thought we’d moved on from this narrow minded shite.

I wouldn’t have a tattoo, loads of piercings or multi coloured hair but I wouldn’t care about someones
else's choices as long as they treated me right.

What are your thoughts, OP?

She’d have had kittens at a funeral that’s just happened locally to me. Everyone was dressed up as Disney characters including the funeral directors 🤣

Why on earth would anyone complain about that? That would be ridiculous.

It might look slightly unorthodox, but surely what matters more is how empathetic he is and how well he does his job.

I'd consider your mother very silly indeed if she lodged a complaint about that. It is a personal matter for him, not for her. Or is she the sort who thinks that she alone knows what the "done thing" is in such situations?

I wouldn’t be impressed either OP, unprofessional and inappropriate for a somber occasion particularly if you want an all black funeral and not a colourful one.

What’s your AIBU?

I’m not being picky or goody or argumentative at all, but please can I ask why dyed hair is disrespectful? I don’t really understand. Or unprofessional?

Hair colour is not anybody else’s business. Being smart and respectful does not mean brown hair.

I think it’s rather unprofessional. My late Mum died in a care home and I was there when the very smartly dressed undertakers turned up on a Bank Holiday.

Personally I just remember the pressed clothes and wouldn’t have liked someone with green hair turning up. It sounds disrespectful.

It wouldn’t bother me, I’m not a fan of things like piercings, out there hair colours, tattoos but I don’t see how they have any bearing on how someone can do a job

I would think my mind would be on slightly more important thoughts at a funeral.

YABU
I know of a funeral director who was asked to dress as a clown for when she led the hearse. She obliged. I bet many a pearl was clutched.

I think that it’s up to the family of the deceased.

Also at one I went to a few years ago.

All the family were wearing the football strip of the deceased's favourite football team. The rest of us were told to wear smart casual, but any colour we wished.

So we all did.

Jeezo, your mums a bit shallow isn’t she? What on earth has the guy got to apologise for? Genuine question. As long as he does a good job, his hair is no one’s business..