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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boyfriend says I have fine hair … AIBU to be hurt?

336 replies

MorrisHer · 29/11/2025 11:01

Been dating a man for about four months now and yesterday he was looking at my hair when we we out walking . I thought he was admiring it but I was clearly wrong as in the next breath he says something like “ Gosh your hair is so fine, you can see your scalp through it” then proceeded to tell me he went out with a woman with thick lush curly black hair right down to her backside.
My hair is naturally very fine but I’ve never really had any negative comments before and why would it be an issue anyway? We are more than just a head of hair which can be for the most part, dictated by genetics anyway …
it’s really hurt me probably more than it should and it keeps playing on my mind .. AIBU to let it bother me??
I’m also menopausal and having a tough time physically and emotionally and my hair is even thinner than usual as a result :(

OP posts:
firstofallimadelight · 02/12/2025 08:01

He puts you down and talks about his preferences for other women. He’s not a nice guy, he’s not going to help your esteem.

StrangePaint · 02/12/2025 08:13

MorrisHer · 29/11/2025 11:11

Oh yeah.. sometimes he says really weird stuff … like a couple of weeks ago we were served by a girl with ginger hair and after she’d walked off he chirped up “ I’ve always had a bit of a thing for redheads” and laughed ..my hair is dark brown .. I felt like walking out..

Show quote history

So why are you still seeing him? Is he incredibly wonderful, apart from what sounds like frequent moments of tactlessness and social dopiness?

5128gap · 02/12/2025 08:27

If a man is so stupid as to think its OK to share any unflattering observation that pops into his head, and that its OK to make unfavourable comparisons with other women just because it's his opinion, then he is too stupid to be your partner.
If he isn't stupid then he is doing it on purpose. In which case he doesn't deserve to be your partner.

Goldenbear · 02/12/2025 08:52

Now you've added all the other comments he makes I definitely think he's not a good catch!

HatStickBoots · 02/12/2025 12:41

His conversation doesn’t sound in the least bit scintillating if his main topic is other women he’d like to f*
Throw this catfish back into the sea.

londongirl12 · 02/12/2025 12:44

Yeah I couldn’t be with someone that highlights any insecurities with me. And this is only 4 months in!!!! Bin him.

fatphalange · 02/12/2025 13:04

Negging men need the same treatment back. One man used to make remarks until one time I shot back, ‘coming from you? Seriously!’ and burst out laughing looking him up and down and he looked absolutely wounded. Ha. (Not someone I was seeing- I wouldn’t date a man like that). Hope you dump this man with a well placed parting comment about one of his short-comings. It won’t be easy because if you’re not a horrible person it will feel like you’re being really cruel, but I feel this is the only way these people will learn. Or maybe it won’t but if he becomes indignant at least he won’t be your problem. Nasty man.

leftsock · 03/12/2025 07:20

fatphalange · 02/12/2025 13:04

Negging men need the same treatment back. One man used to make remarks until one time I shot back, ‘coming from you? Seriously!’ and burst out laughing looking him up and down and he looked absolutely wounded. Ha. (Not someone I was seeing- I wouldn’t date a man like that). Hope you dump this man with a well placed parting comment about one of his short-comings. It won’t be easy because if you’re not a horrible person it will feel like you’re being really cruel, but I feel this is the only way these people will learn. Or maybe it won’t but if he becomes indignant at least he won’t be your problem. Nasty man.

Love this! I find it soooo funny that men who neg women cannot stand it when it's directed back at them. It's hilarious how they're such a fan of "just telling the truth" until they get some home truths back about their own appearance/personality. Then suddenly they get all pissy and upset 🤣

HighlyUnusual · 03/12/2025 21:31

I once heard a man loudly scoring women marks out of ten in a bar, so I marched up, had a go at him and told him he'd be a two out of ten if he was lucky and to shut up. I think he was quite surprised. I was so mad!

Blinkblock · 10/02/2026 20:16

MorrisHer · 01/12/2025 07:30

Yes she was a young girl … looked about 16 … his eyes lit up when she came over.

Show quote history

Had you moved in with him at this stage @MorrisHer ?

AndreaMarvell · 11/02/2026 10:46

@Blinkblock I understand the OP @MorrisHer has dumped the guy because of something extremely alarming she discovered about him.

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