we have been together 11 years, married for 2 and 1 child between us age 6. When i met him id split from ex husband whom i have 3 kids with age 13, 14 and 19. Ive always just paid the house hold stuff, he didn't live with me really until our child was born when we moved to a slightly bigger house. Fast forward 6 years and i'm still paying the rent, the childcare, the electricity, the coal, 99% of the food shopping, school lunches, breakfast club etc etc. He will do a fill of oil when needed and any larger buys, of which there aren't many. Am i being unreasonable to ask him to pay a set amount each week into the house? I have never been particularly good with money but in recent years have definitley upped my game, He runs his own company but pays himself a part time wage to avoid employee contributions etc and i've never really questioned it until the last couple of years, but im sliding into my overdraft more and more lately and its stressing me out.
I have brought this up a few times and he will agree to pay £100 a week, which he will do on random days some weeks but not on others. He agreed to pay £200 a week for a while which allowed me some independency and i was able to save a bit, then he stopped, or would pay a hundred 1 week then nothing for 2 weeks.
He thinks im frivolous with cash, but we both work hard and i want to be able to spend on snacks, or little luxuries etc as i please, i earn a decent wage and i suspect his would be similar if it wasn't all going into the business.
I love him dearly and i don't like upsetting the apple cart as i appear to have done on this occasion but I feel like he is controlling my income by forcing me to put everything i get into the house then making me feel like i shouldn't be spending.
Its worth noting he bailed me out of a lot of debt a number of years ago and ive been very sensible since that and that amount would have been well surpassed in rent and childcare over the years. I dont know how to broach it anymore, maybe im feeling it more this time of year with Christmas looming but the whole thing is making me question my marriage if he cant support me financially. AIBU?