First night away with new BF, was he unreasonable

[India87]

As above - would you expect your partner to tell you if they were going to be bringing ‘kink’ items? Or is it appropriate to find out by walking into the bedroom after a bath and finding said items being worn?

His reaction shows you have made the right decision to dump him.

You really think the discussion here about lack of consent and your assertion that “only pervs use sex toys” are the same thing?

Can you not see the difference? Really?

Nowhere does it say consent to use sex toys was established.

Oh that’s rubbish what a weirdo.
I don’t know if you have watched Riot Women but if you haven’t do watch the bit where Tamsin Greig starts getting amorous with her new beau and he assumes she would be keen to do something disgusting. Men can be such a disappointment.

I’m a woman and I found it funny? I probably wouldn’t at the time, but judging by the responses on this thread, I’m not the only one who found it amusing.

I’ll add that I’ve been in a situation similar to this, a sex toy sprung on me and USED without my consent leaving me quite traumatised.

Not lost my sense of humour though.

Oh jeez, I don't dare Google this, so looked at the photo instead. Shudder to think what I'll see next time I look at Facebook. Algorithms will be a nightmare

Yes. Having an issue with a lack of consent is “hating sex and hating men.”

Yawn

😂

Advising “people”.

Yes it’s “people” doing this….😄😄😄

He needs to look for one of the 3% who don’t think he was being unreasonable!

Though suspect some of those pressed the wrong button.

His reaction just conforms that you have done the right thing by ditching him.

Nothing wrong with people have kinks but to not discus it before randomly springing it upon someone in a hotel room is just wrong. He was hoping you wouldn’t have the guts to back out of it and would go along with what ever he intended to do. This is definitely not healthy in a relationship and show lack of respect and selflessness. In a healthy relationship you would discus what turns you on, you would discuss what makes you comfortable and uncomfortable and even buy things to try together, not whip out you beloved sex toy/fetish collection to surprise someone.

OP, I have been single a looooong time but have dipped in and out of dating for years, I have met men like this, ones that have no respect for what their partner wants/needs, I even had one guy try and strangle me without asking if it was ok (then tried to tell me that all women like it). They really are some awful men out there who live in some kind of fantasy world when it comes to sex, mainly due to them watching way too much porn. I a, glad you have thrown this one away, block him and move on.

this.

it should all be a conversation before about what is and isn't ok. springing it out to try and force the situation is not on

My ex husband thought I would enjoy playing with him in his new gimp suit replete with fake boobs and high heels.
The ex part will give you an idea of how thrilled I was.

I'd run a mile from any kinkiness 😵

Dying 🤣🤣🤣

🤣🤣🤣

Did he apologised OP? For me it would depend on this and how you can go foward. If he's good in other areas I don't think I'd bin him off.

You are definitely not being unreasonable but your boyfriend is. It doesn't matter if it's bringing sex toys into the bedroom or wanting BDSM (or anything else!), it should be discussed in advance. You don't spring this onto your partner. The fact he hasn't discussed this, for me is a red flag, because he hasn't bothered to find out your boundaries.

Surely everyone on MN knows that raw potatoes don't freeze successfully.

And add 'it's for your pleasure'! 😀

🤮 some men are just about themselves and what they want. Grim

Omfg I would leave immediately.

You should have said halloween has passed and your all out of monkey nuts

OP, I have been single a looooong time but have dipped in and out of dating for years, I have met men like this, ones that have no respect for what their partner wants/needs, I even had one guy try and strangle me without asking if it was ok (then tried to tell me that all women like it). They really are some awful men out there who live in some kind of fantasy world when it comes to sex, mainly due to them watching way too much porn. I a, glad you have thrown this one away, block him and move on.

Bloody hell. Then if things go wrong it would be accidental strangulation during consensual sex....

I'd have cracked out laughing because most kink accessories look ridiculous (and as sexy as genital warts)

I've also risked my algorithm and googled it. I don't think its a mild kink at all!

I'd be so shocked if I emerged out of the bathroom to a new partner wearing that with no notice. And I'm not that shockable.