First night away with new BF, was he unreasonable

[India87]

As above - would you expect your partner to tell you if they were going to be bringing ‘kink’ items? Or is it appropriate to find out by walking into the bedroom after a bath and finding said items being worn?

Indeed. Which is why I wouldn't have sex with someone I don't trust to sterilise a sex toy. And I wouldn't demand new toys without first insisting they provide new evidence of a clear sexual health check from a reputable clinic.

You know this, I know this, but MN? If it can care about the wrong thing, it will.

I see - mainstream perversion vs perversion. Understood.

I wouldn't want a secondhand engagement ring that a man's ex gave back to him when they split up, and that only went on her finger. I'm fairly sure people wouldn't question that, so why question wanting new sex toys (which are far cheaper than rings)?

Besides, the guaranteed cleanliness of a new toy is a bonus and then you can buy it together, which also guarantees that whatever it is, it'll be to your taste. Not hard to understand!

Oh this will be our go-to for many threads to come!

Should anything happen to DH I can say, with absolute certainty, that this and a billion other stories about modern dating guarantees I'd die single.

It's not looking good, tbh. That's the item and the assumptions Google is making about my leisure time.

@India87 "I don’t plan on pursuing things as it stands"

Freudian slip or expertly deployed pun?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@India87 There is no ex partner, it's from all the porn he watches.

Oh, OP! That sounds horrendous. And I've got an image of him in my mind basically wearing a gimp mask. My vagina would have clamped shut forever. And bollocks was it for your pleasure. It was for his, hoping to get his kink satisfied that night and that you would go along with it. Because if he cared what you thought, no way would he have sprung it on you like that. And his reaction to being dumped just confirms things.

'Shamed him for his interests ...'

That made me giggle aloud for quite a while! I mean this was hardly a nice little hobby of his, ha. What did he expect?

How on earth do you know whether to ‘trust’ that someone knows how to sterilise a sex toy? Lots of otherwise intelligent people don’t have a clue what sterilisation actually involves. Plastic and rubber are hard to sterilise properly. That’s why gynaecologists use single-use plastic speculums.

You do you but I don’t think there’s anything strange or unreasonable about a woman wanting to use either her own or new sex toys if they are going to end up inside her.

Too early in your relationship for that. You’d at least hope for romance first. I would hate that. How did you respond?

The only thread you've started on MN was the one where you listed all the ways in which your DH is a dick.

Jesus Christ what was he thinking! I’d definitely dump him

Well presumably the same penis that he's had with multiple woman, so what's the difference? Most present the penis without protection!

This. He's a bully.

I clicked on the photo. It was slightly more horrific than I imagined (I mean, why couldn't it be the face of someone we might fancy?!) - but more shocking was the £152 price tag!

You don't understand anything. Forget the sex toys, that's a personal preference on a very broad spectrum and if people are into them that is fine if openly discussed with their partners.

But how is consent a difficult concept for you? Consent has to be established every single time. DH and I have a healthy sex life and I love him very much but I'd still be pissed off to walk out of the bathroom to him lying on the bed fully erect and expecting me to just hop on.

This guy was presuming he was having sex with OP and expecting her to just go along with what he wanted to do with no build up or conversation beforehand. He knows jack shit about how to seduce a woman or turn her on.

ALL THIS.

Send this OP! what a horrible man

100% you weren’t shaming him. I’ve learnt people love some weird and wonderful (to them!) things and that is perfectly ok when discussed and you are given the opportunity to say yea that could be fun let’s try it or to be honest you with a gimp mask and dildo on your face is not gonna do it for me. It doesn’t matter what him and his ex got up to that was their relationship and if that’s the sort of thing they did then absolutely fine. But you are not here and the boundaries are not the same

Grim, some people are fucking weirdos.

Oh no, weirdo.
I think I'd leave immediately.
I have a weird memory in a early relationship, years ago, it was a man-bikini of some sort, absolutely vile. 🫣

“Mfff mmm mmf mmff mmm.”