First night away with new BF, was he unreasonable

[India87]

As above - would you expect your partner to tell you if they were going to be bringing ‘kink’ items? Or is it appropriate to find out by walking into the bedroom after a bath and finding said items being worn?

Sorry for joking upthread - very wrong of him to surprise you with that, and even worse is the second hand aspect. I very much doubt he has an actual steriliser that would make this safe to use in terms of STIs.

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A mask with a sex toy on it?! The mind boggles? Was it to improve his oral technique? Was there a dildo in the middle?
If so you should have asked what he was dressed up as. And he should've responded 'fuck nose' 🤣🙄

Either way he showed his true colours by being so nasty about it. Why not just at least show you a picture of it or talk about it a bit before you just spring it on someone?!

It must have crossed his mind that you may be uncomfortable with this.

So as said upthread, he didn’t care whether you’d like it or not. He thought he’d embarrass you into going along with it? Hateful man, good riddance

And his super swinging up for it ex dumped him too? Funny that 🙄

To be fair, biological sex parts are shared around and re-used all the time!

Why not sex toys too, with appropriate cleaning in between. Replacing toys for each new partner is nonsensical if you're not also growing a fresh vagina or dick. By all means insist on new, but be clear it's illogical, a psychological comfort blanket you use to delude yourself. Bio sex parts tend to be well used and definitely not sterile 😆.

Skin sheds and renews itself so yeah, we pretty much do grow fresh vaginas every few weeks. There's no chance of 'remnants' of a previous visitor after that time surely? (And I'm not judging anyone else but that seems like a reasonable gap between lovers for me.)

Vibrators for use on women either solo or with a partner are pretty mainstream. Cock rings for men, too, though slightly less common.

The gimp-mask-dildo whatever the fuck it is, is very much not mainstream. Consent around it had NOT been established, and surprise and disgust is a perfectly reasonable reaction to somebody springing a surprise gimp-mask-dildo on you.

Please can you return the favour by wearing an adult nappy and ask him to change you? See how he likes it!!!

Yuck.

What an absolute creep.

I’m very open minded but this would def give me the ick. The fact that he’s turned nasty after you cooled things off with him proves you did the right thing.

Because of the ick factor. You can't grow a new penis for a new partner, but ffs you can buy a new dildo. And because men in general are not known for being careful with cleanliness to the point of sterilising something properly.

If I can't trust a guy to sterilise a sex toy he's certainly not putting his naked body parts anywhere near mine.

I think dildo-gimp-mask is correct, if you don't mind me being pedantic. 😁

😆

I mean, as kink items go I’d say that’s pretty mild but a) he should have found a way of broaching the subject to see if you liked the idea prior to expecting to use it and b) absolutely no way would I want a sex toy anywhere me if someone had used it with a previous partner.

As a sex toy, it’s nothing particularly disturbing or potentially harmful in itself, but jeez, he’s insane to think it was a good idea to just put the thing on and lie there waiting for you, or that you’d be happy to give it a go knowing it wasn’t brand new 🤢

Also I keep imagining him looking like Mr Noseybonk from Jigsaw, who terrified me on kids’ tv when I was a child.

Or this emoji > 🤥

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I'd have died if I'd walked in on that waiting for me!

His reply shows you definitely did the right thing by finishing it. What an arsehole.

I had no idea what this is so searched it and my search came back with this. Surely it can't have been this.

I really, really agree with this. I would be gone.

@ClareBlue I'm not opening your posted image, but now that you've searched "dildo gimp mask" I'll be curious if your search suggestions/pop-up ads change! 😂
Do you let anyone use your phone that will see your search history? You might be getting something surprising for Christmas now... 🤣

Yes, that's how one contracts STDs. Also, Hep B, and also bloodborne diseases like HIV, and Hep C.

This guy can't be trusted to have a conversation about it before springing it on the OP. I wouldn't trust his cleaning skills, especially given this unimaginable to me thing was apparently wearing a condom....?

Eww it sounds like a pretty out-there fetish thing and not some lingerie or a vibrator (which he should ask if you are interested in anyway).
Honestly I think some men are raised in barns, I have no idea what goes through their minds.

What was he wearing??

Gross …just gross.

No surprise he got angry. He’s a freak.

You know now you’ve 100% made the right decision

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