Why do people waste their life in this way?

[Whythatdoor]

I know of a family friend, in his early 70s. He has some health challenges but he’s mobile and still has all his faculties. He’s not at deaths door, I appreciate, but likewise he’s not in the first flush of youth.

He spends nearly all his time watching rolling news, getting massively worked up about things, and firing off emails. His latest moan is bias at the BBC. He’s sent them lots of emails and shares FB posts several times a day. He’s obsessed with small boats, and is generally right wing.

He hasn’t got much time left on Earth, why waste it hating on everyone and everything? Why not just live his life,‘experience what he can with an open mind and an open heart while he’s still fit enough to do so?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying people shouldn’t care about these things, or be interested in the news, or write to organisations if they feel strongly. But his life is consumed by it, negativity, bile, anger. I feel like I want to shake him.

AIBU?

So you have different political viewpoints and your basically saying ‘why can’t he be better and share your views’?

He is living his life in his own way.

Who are you to say he is wrong?

That’s not what I understood.

He’s just allowing himself to be angry at things which in the scheme of things he cannot change. He could be doing more rewarding and positive enjoyable things instead.

It’s his life to live as he chooses. Just because you wouldn’t choose it for yourself, that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with how he’s choosing to spend his.

I think he’s the better judge of how he wants to spend his life than you. It’s arrogant of you to assume you know what’s best.

I guess he's not happy about the state of things.
Just like you're not happy how his mind works?

Frame it another way. Why are you wasting your life thinking about how someone else is living theirs?

This is obviously what he finds enjoyable though, otherwise he wouldn’t be doing it!

He hasn't got much time left on earth, has he?? I'm 74 and I'm banking on another 15 years! Anyway, rather than getting involved and wasting your time worrying about him, put some space between you. Just go and enjoy your life doing things you want to do, not obsessing over him. He's not affecting anyone except himself.

Why do you care so much?

I'm in a similar position to your friend, I guess. Health & circumstances have conspired to keep me on the bloody sofa, by myself, much more than is healthy.

I live in the internet. My body's conking out faster than my brain; I need mental stimulation and I need to feel part of the world. For me it's WAY too much Mumsnet - so I'm "talking" to people - and endless rabbit holes. My rabbit holes tend to be about science and history, so I'm less exposed to FEAR and FURY. But sometimes I do watch that shit so I know what other people are thinking 👀

In short, I understand how this happens. The fear & fury is deliberate, it sets off your adrenal response and you feel like you need to take action - which the next video will claim you are doing by watching it!

Best cure would be to get him watching/reading material he's more intellectually interested in, but it's hard. YouTube will keep feeding him whatever he's been watching, so it would actually be better to create a new account that only looks at gardening, travel and wildlife (or mechanics & DIY, whatever!)

I’m actually curious what you think he should be doing.

Then we can all tell you whether we think your ideas are a waste of time or not. Because I can guarantee that not everyone will agree with you, just like you don’t agree with him.

Plenty of people who are angry misdirect it.

Damn, I've been trying to get in before the goady first post but took too long over my reply this time!

🙄

What do you mean?He hasn't got much time left on earth?

My grandma lived to ninety one. So if he is early seventies and lives as long as my granny.He'll have nearly twenty years. If that isn't a long time left on earth, what is it?

Early seventies isn't that old you know.

The uk seems full of people like him right now. It’s depressing op I know.

I guess he might wonder why you're wasting your time moaning about him online?

Don't be silly. Also, it's you're, not your. They mean different things. You're is an abbreviation of you are. (That's how you can check your sentence makes sense.)

He thinks these things are important and worthy of his time and energy. You might disagree but that’s the only explanation which makes sense… unless he’s insane, but I guess you’d have mentioned that, if it were the case.

😂

I read an interesting study about time perspective, and it basically puts humans into 3 categories.

Those in the past, present or future.

people in the past category are good to have socially, they retain history and tradition to pass on to their communities, teaching etc.

People in the present are productive, workers and will take risks. They enjoy the excitement of today.

Then there are future builders. Historically, the kind of people who would spend a lifetime building a cathedral that they will never step foot in, working to a goal that can be multi generations away.

What I’m getting at, is you clearly have a different time perspective.

This.

Why does it bother you surely your wasting your life then moaning about him doing what he wants to lol

Whether we agree or not with his views (I agree partially), wouldn't it be better to spend time with irl people & activities? I get it may be difficult in his situation, but I don't think any elderly person should spend the majority of their later years on YouTube.

His life,this choice. Maybe he finds you annoying too OP.

Because life's dull as fuck for some of us and getting outraged over something is mildly interesting for a few minutes.