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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 01/11/2025 15:44

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 01/11/2025 15:39

Ordinary trans people do not have a platform. Even going to the toilet becomes a far bigger deal than many people on here will ever understand. The problem is that many people on here can't/won't see the individuals behind the sensationalist headlines, largely because they don't want to and it doesn't suit their purposes to do so.

My nephew is trans. We’ve fully supported them in their journey but they have not changed sex. They are still biologically male.

As for the toilet argument. Don’t biological women deserve the safety and privacy of a single sex space? Why must the centring of biological males trump the needs of biological women?

fortinbra · 01/11/2025 15:45

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 01/11/2025 15:39

Ordinary trans people do not have a platform. Even going to the toilet becomes a far bigger deal than many people on here will ever understand. The problem is that many people on here can't/won't see the individuals behind the sensationalist headlines, largely because they don't want to and it doesn't suit their purposes to do so.

A lot of vulnerable people, especially young people, have been put in an impossible position it is true. I promise that lack of empathy for them is not what is happening here.

potpourree · 01/11/2025 15:50

Even going to the toilet becomes a far bigger deal than many people on here will ever understand.

How do we know which is the bigger deal to which group?
Going into single-sex, mixed-gender toilets, or going into mixed-sex, single-gender toilets? Why is the former bad but the latter fine?

And that's ignoring all the people who need accessible loos that can't get them.

Namelessnelly · 01/11/2025 15:53

potpourree · 01/11/2025 15:37

I agree with you there. I feel for any group who have people as supposed spokespeople for them who present the worst of the group.

If it helps, I wouldn't assume all trans people are misogynists (although there is some level of sexist thinking that underlies the 'men are like THIS, women are like THAT' belief behind self-id - but sexism is so deeply ingrained into our culture I have some sympathy with those who have absorbed it).

In fact 'trans' includes people with no gender identity which would apply to many people on here!

I don’t really think it does. I mean, to claim to have no gender identity, you’d have to a ) believe in such nonsense, and b) be able to define it. Thst would be like saying stamp collecting community includes those who don’t collect stamps wouldn’t it?

BCBird · 01/11/2025 15:56

BlueIndigoScarlet · 31/10/2025 14:30

In years to come people are going to look back on this period in history and think society had collectively lost its mind

Totally agree. This is madness.

Nettlestoop · 01/11/2025 16:02

@potpourree sums this up brilliantly!

How do we know which is the bigger deal to which group?
Going into single-sex, mixed-gender toilets, or going into mixed-sex, single-gender toilets? Why is the former bad but the latter fine?
And that's ignoring all the people who need accessible loos that can't get them.

quantumbutterfly · 01/11/2025 16:04

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 01/11/2025 14:08

‘Frothing’ 🤣 Out comes the bingo card.

Do you champion trans women in women’s sports too?

I prefer effervescing.
Anyone else getting 'in thread' adverts for a creepy AI companion that looks like a young girl that you can dress up? What fresh hell is this mn?
Is it an algorithm thing? I don't want to have to talk to my sons about search history...or dp😶

Talkinpeace · 01/11/2025 16:06

Any trans identifying person who does not believe that everybody around them knows which sex they are
is deluded.

Accurate sex identification is hard wired into the brains of all humans and mammals and birds.
We do it in less than a second with >99% accuracy

Silence is usually fear not acceptance let alone 'passing'

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/11/2025 16:08

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 01/11/2025 15:39

Ordinary trans people do not have a platform. Even going to the toilet becomes a far bigger deal than many people on here will ever understand. The problem is that many people on here can't/won't see the individuals behind the sensationalist headlines, largely because they don't want to and it doesn't suit their purposes to do so.

I’m willing to bet that per capita, trans people have more platforms than women do. Ordinary women are summarily ignored.

ThatCyanCat · 01/11/2025 16:09

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 01/11/2025 15:29

I know several trans people. They are just ordinary. They don't have invitations streaming in from TV shows or massive followings on Twitter or anything. And they don't deserve the ire that occurs on a daily basis on here.

I know several trans people too. They're all very nice and they're all the sex they were born as, obviously so, and they've got exactly the same rights as everyone else.

So what?

DrBlackbird · 01/11/2025 16:12

potpourree · 31/10/2025 14:34

I thought being a woman was about having special womanly feelings or spirit or soul and was nothing to do with being female?

Yet by some weird coincidence these male people seem to be emulating the female body? What an odd thing to have happened.

Apparently the female body is female by virtue of long hair, lots of makeup, lip fillers and plastic surgery. I’ve been doing it all wrong. Thank god Glamour is there to point out where I’ve been going wrong so I can now properly woman.

ThatCyanCat · 01/11/2025 16:15

potpourree · 01/11/2025 15:37

I agree with you there. I feel for any group who have people as supposed spokespeople for them who present the worst of the group.

If it helps, I wouldn't assume all trans people are misogynists (although there is some level of sexist thinking that underlies the 'men are like THIS, women are like THAT' belief behind self-id - but sexism is so deeply ingrained into our culture I have some sympathy with those who have absorbed it).

In fact 'trans' includes people with no gender identity which would apply to many people on here!

Normally I would agree. In this case, however, the worst of the group is very often the precise reason why we need sex based rights and protections. So yes, the number of men who claim to be women who act exactly like violent men or fetishists may not be a reason to say all trans identified men are violent or fetishists (although an alarming number are) but they certainly are a reason to keep men out of women's spaces, and to demonstrate who is among those demanding access. No decent man would demand entry and no decent human would resort to threats, violence and vexatious litigation when told to use the correct spaces.

And of course, on point of fact, even if none of them were violent fetishists, none of them would be women and they are excluded on that basis alone. Access to unconsenting women isn't a reward for not attacking them and women's spaces exist for women's protection, not men's affirmation.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 01/11/2025 16:16

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 01/11/2025 15:29

I know several trans people. They are just ordinary. They don't have invitations streaming in from TV shows or massive followings on Twitter or anything. And they don't deserve the ire that occurs on a daily basis on here.

Go take a look at the “ire” on trans supportive platforms towards gender critical feminist women. I don’t hate anyone. I just don’t believe these men are women, or that they have the right to be considered so. I think the whole ideology is misogynistic in the extreme.

JHound · 01/11/2025 16:23

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/11/2025 15:25

The Barbie film wasn’t woke. We’re so far down the misogynist road that a film that is hilarious, centres women and girls, talks about real-life things that happen every day, is ‘woke’. It’s not.

Pretending that (for example) the best people to model female sportswear have penises, that’s ‘woke’.

Not according to US conservatives and Piers Morgan.

My no point was simply “get woke go broke” is fairly meaningless as many things that are labelled / have been labelled “woke” go on to be extremely successful.

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/11/2025 16:26

JHound · 01/11/2025 16:23

Not according to US conservatives and Piers Morgan.

My no point was simply “get woke go broke” is fairly meaningless as many things that are labelled / have been labelled “woke” go on to be extremely successful.

Edited

Well if you listen to them you get what you get.

Flat earth and Tylenol causes autism.

AngryBird6122 · 01/11/2025 16:40

Ereshkigalangcleg · 01/11/2025 14:22

It really is. And I cringe for the women cheering it on. Sad.

They bend over backwards for this cause too. Because 'empathy' and 'inclusivity' etc. Bet they couldn't give a rats arse about womens lack of rights the world over.

OP posts:
WomanOfSteel · 01/11/2025 16:47

VioletandDill · 01/11/2025 11:54

It's still really difficult to find the image on X unless you're actively searching for it, and even then I can only find JK's tweet and one image from Glamour which isn't that one. Most (as in the vast majority) of their WOTY posts are other people. On Instagram the Dolls occupy 2/45 of their WOTY posts. And I highly doubt that JK follows them otherwise, so she must have gone looking for it.

I conclude that JK ought to put the phone down and get a life.

Anyway, I'm off to the newsagents and then to get on with mine! I'll see whether there is actually a print version. Maybe it'll come back with all the publicity that Mr Galbraith has given it!

Or maybe somebody else found it and sent it to her. I’m not on X but occasionally get sent things from there by friends/family.

BebbanburgIsMine · 01/11/2025 16:52

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 31/10/2025 14:34

Who still buys magazines? But yes, JKR is right.

I buy magazines, and so does my DD.

Nothing wrong in that.

Ihatetomatoes · 01/11/2025 16:53

AngryBird6122 · 31/10/2025 14:17

https://x.com/jk_rowling/status/1983848989213553091?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Etweet

aibu to think she is spot on? shame on glamour magazine (does anyone still read it?)

Yanbu

JKR is right again.

Men cos playing women winning awards is pathetic. Glamour magazine get in the bin.

Arraminta · 01/11/2025 17:35

BCBird · 01/11/2025 15:56

Totally agree. This is madness.

I honestly believe we will look back on this with incredulous horror akin to how we look back at the Salem Witch Trials. A bizarre, temporary, mass hysteria event.

I couldn't care less what clothes TW wear. Or who they have sex with (assuming it's consensual). Whatever floats your boat.

But. They. Are. Forever. Biological. Men.

TheKeatingFive · 01/11/2025 17:37

Arraminta · 01/11/2025 17:35

I honestly believe we will look back on this with incredulous horror akin to how we look back at the Salem Witch Trials. A bizarre, temporary, mass hysteria event.

I couldn't care less what clothes TW wear. Or who they have sex with (assuming it's consensual). Whatever floats your boat.

But. They. Are. Forever. Biological. Men.

I don't think I will ever understand how we got here. Or why so many people mindlessly cheered it on.

CunningLinguist2 · 01/11/2025 17:55

AngryBird6122 · 01/11/2025 10:20

@CunningLinguist2 sorry what? You haven’t bought glamour women’s magazine in years but now there are men on the front cover you will?

Now that they’re upfront and in your face about protecting transwomen? Absofuckinglutely! #ProtectTheDolls (

ThatCyanCat · 01/11/2025 18:01

TheKeatingFive · 01/11/2025 17:37

I don't think I will ever understand how we got here. Or why so many people mindlessly cheered it on.

The Denton report explains a lot. And after the ground was laid, a huge amount of intimidation and emotional blackmail. A lot of people felt that if death and rape threats and genocide accusations were being made then even though that's wrong, it must mean JKR had said something truly evil even if nobody could say what it was, which is of course one reason for doing it. Naturally, women who made such threats to men would never get such sympathy but everyone knows who the women are.

I think a lot of people assumed it was more complicated than it was. The tide is turning because it's becoming clear that yes, they really did mean that men are actual women if they say they are and should get access to changing rooms, sports and so on on that basis. It really is that insane. There's no missing nuance.

Everyone knows men aren't women and by this point it's hard to see any justification for the insanity beyond thinking that women do indeed exist to serve and facilitate men to any degree even if everyone denies it. Even here, as always, we got the "but my lovely trans friends" stuff as if lovely female friends, or just women in general, don't matter now that a man you like wants to get his knob into the ladies'. Fuck's sake.

StormyPotatoes · 01/11/2025 18:14

CunningLinguist2 · 01/11/2025 17:55

Now that they’re upfront and in your face about protecting transwomen? Absofuckinglutely! #ProtectTheDolls (

Not the bricks though? Only ever the dolls.