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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if most straight men are attracted much younger women?

415 replies

RubyTuesday10 · 08/10/2025 21:11

Had a depressing moment at work today, male colleague played a Jimmy Carr stand-up clip on his phone and it went along the lines of “if I had to pick my favourite child it would be my neighbour’s hot daughter.” The other men with him laughed at it. I couldn’t help feeling a bit nauseous and it’s made me question whether many older straight men actually do fantasise about girls in their late teens or whatever. Perhaps I have been naive to think it was something that just appealed to a minority of perverts. One or two of them have daughters too and it just strikes me as odd that they could even laugh at a joke like that. Am I naive to feel this way?

OP posts:
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7
Thingyfanding1 · 08/10/2025 21:16

Ugh that’s put me off Jimmy Carr.

I don’t think you’re wrong. I think they’re attracted - it’s potentially something biological.

I know some men that only like to date women their own age or older though - that’s not unusual.

Reachedthefinalstage · 08/10/2025 21:17

I don't think that's a funny joke. I think it's quite sick. Almost trying to make paedophilia funny.

And I wouldn't be impressed by the men who laughed at it.

Of course there are men who perv on very young women: teen porn is one of the most popular genres.
But there are many decent men who don't.

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 08/10/2025 21:20

Thingyfanding1 · 08/10/2025 21:16

Ugh that’s put me off Jimmy Carr.

I don’t think you’re wrong. I think they’re attracted - it’s potentially something biological.

I know some men that only like to date women their own age or older though - that’s not unusual.

That's put you off Jimmy Carr? A joke that's relatively tame by his standards? Riyadh comedy festival? Israel party? Taxes? But for you the final straw was this completely on brand joke? Was today the first time you heard of Jimmy Carr?

Original poster
RubyTuesday10 · 08/10/2025 21:23

It’s less about Jimmy’s brand of “humour” but more about men in general. I know 16 is the age of consent but I’d like to think most men still wouldn’t want to go there and would prefer an adult woman. Maybe I am naive judging by the response it got.

OP posts:
GloryFades · 08/10/2025 21:25

RubyTuesday10 · 08/10/2025 21:23

It’s less about Jimmy’s brand of “humour” but more about men in general. I know 16 is the age of consent but I’d like to think most men still wouldn’t want to go there and would prefer an adult woman. Maybe I am naive judging by the response it got.

Edited

You know Jimmy isn’t actually dating his neighbours teen daughter don’t you?

Original poster
RubyTuesday10 · 08/10/2025 21:28

GloryFades · 08/10/2025 21:25

You know Jimmy isn’t actually dating his neighbours teen daughter don’t you?

Show quote history

Yes of course, but the fact that the joke appealed to men, implied a wider consensus that these type of thoughts are acceptable. It’s the response to it not the joke itself that I found depressing but maybe that’s because I have a teenage daughter and know that a couple of them do too.

OP posts:
MycroftSholmes · 08/10/2025 21:33

Remember the papers that awarded Charlotte church rear of the year aged 16, Billie piper - countdown til she's legal ?

Or what about American beauty and lolita if you’re feeling more high brow…?

Kate moss as an accepted “ so glamorous” topless teen etc.… main stream media have a big role to play in making this kind of joke seem acceptable, and perving on barely legal porn category is I think not seen as paedophilia in many people’s minds as a result.

grim.

Sandy483 · 08/10/2025 21:36

Pretty sure I read an American survey that found that most men would sleep with an underage girl if they were sure they could get away with it.

On the other hand I'm 50 and don't find 50 year old men at all attractive so there is that.

MrTumblesSpottyBoxers · 08/10/2025 21:36

The amount of men driving cars turning their heads 180 degrees to stare at school girls, it doesn't surprise me.

We are surrounded by men who may not act on it or admit it out loud, but would be more than up for shacking up with a 16 year old if they could get away it and not get shamed for it

sundaychairtree · 08/10/2025 21:38

Dont be silly a woman of 18 or 19 is not a child!! Of course nen are sexually attracted to women in tbe prime of their fertility andv health and thus Most able to make and birth healthy children.That is not perverted its a Perfectly normal evolutionary biological urge.

GloryFades · 08/10/2025 21:38

RubyTuesday10 · 08/10/2025 21:28

Yes of course, but the fact that the joke appealed to men, implied a wider consensus that these type of thoughts are acceptable. It’s the response to it not the joke itself that I found depressing but maybe that’s because I have a teenage daughter and know that a couple of them do too.

Edited
Show quote history

For what it’s worth I’m a straight female who laughed at this joke the first time I heard it too, as it was an unexpected and therefore funny response to a common question about a favourite child.

I am not, and have never been, attracted to teenage or young adult girls.

But I enjoy a “close to the bone” humour. Totally fine if you don’t. But it is unusual that it’s this joke that changed your opinion of Jimmy Carr as it’s pretty tame in the context of this repertoire!

TheWonderhorse · 08/10/2025 21:43

People don't actually understand humour. If it were true it wouldn't be funny, or even a joke. It's funny because it's an outrageous thing to say.

Original poster
RubyTuesday10 · 08/10/2025 21:43

sundaychairtree · 08/10/2025 21:38

Dont be silly a woman of 18 or 19 is not a child!! Of course nen are sexually attracted to women in tbe prime of their fertility andv health and thus Most able to make and birth healthy children.That is not perverted its a Perfectly normal evolutionary biological urge.

I don’t think he was implying a woman of 18 or 19….

OP posts:
ASDnocareer · 08/10/2025 21:43

I used to presume the most ‘respectful’ men who aren’t ageist/sexist wouldn’t prioritise younger women, but the older I get the more I’m proved wrong. I live in a very progressive city too

Last guy I dated (very liberal) is 33 and his new girlfriend is a 22 year old student. Felt like he was holding out for someone of her age

Many of my ‘respectful’ single guy friends in 30s have set the minimum age on dating apps to much lower than their own age. They otherwise don’t have any friends that much younger than them

When I was late teens - early twenties I got hit on the most by much older men (even seemingly liberal / ‘respectful’ ones in 40s)

ASDnocareer · 08/10/2025 21:53

sundaychairtree · 08/10/2025 21:38

Dont be silly a woman of 18 or 19 is not a child!! Of course nen are sexually attracted to women in tbe prime of their fertility andv health and thus Most able to make and birth healthy children.That is not perverted its a Perfectly normal evolutionary biological urge.

personally I’ve always thought most women look much better in their twenties than 18/19. I’m not a man though lol

Most women don’t have any signs of ageing in their early twenties, and more likely to have found a flattering style that works for them rather than following microtrends as a teenager

youalright · 08/10/2025 21:57

Sandy483 · 08/10/2025 21:36

Pretty sure I read an American survey that found that most men would sleep with an underage girl if they were sure they could get away with it.

On the other hand I'm 50 and don't find 50 year old men at all attractive so there is that.

Really im in my 30s and I find some 50 year old men really attractive but looking at any man under 25 grosses me out the older you get the younger everyone else looks. I just couldn't be attracted to much younger then me without seeing what looks like a 12 year olds. I think our brains are purposely built like this and paedophiles have something very wrong with their brains.

Makeitstop0 · 08/10/2025 22:03

Men are gross generally

YourPeppyAmberTraybake · 08/10/2025 22:05

ASDnocareer · 08/10/2025 21:53

personally I’ve always thought most women look much better in their twenties than 18/19. I’m not a man though lol

Most women don’t have any signs of ageing in their early twenties, and more likely to have found a flattering style that works for them rather than following microtrends as a teenager

Edited
Show quote history

I think 23 is peak female attractiveness to men.

AngelinaFibres · 08/10/2025 22:05

RubyTuesday10 · 08/10/2025 21:23

It’s less about Jimmy’s brand of “humour” but more about men in general. I know 16 is the age of consent but I’d like to think most men still wouldn’t want to go there and would prefer an adult woman. Maybe I am naive judging by the response it got.

Edited

When my first husband and I were 30 he left me for a 17 year old. We'd just had a holiday to Centre Parks where he spent the whole week looking at , and commenting ( to me) on how 'fuckable' young women around the pool were. Some were 14. When I pointed out to him that the person in question was a young teen he was entirely unbothered.

TheDenimPoet · 08/10/2025 22:07

sundaychairtree · 08/10/2025 21:38

Dont be silly a woman of 18 or 19 is not a child!! Of course nen are sexually attracted to women in tbe prime of their fertility andv health and thus Most able to make and birth healthy children.That is not perverted its a Perfectly normal evolutionary biological urge.

Yep, this. They're literally built to be attracted to people who are most likely to be able to give them babies. Just like women are built to be attracted to men who can provide for us and our babies.

Of course things have changed with society and people make different decisions for various reasons, but basic biology and psychology will never change.

PollyBell · 08/10/2025 22:10

I know it is hard for MN to understand but not all or most men think the same, and you dont know anything about what they were thinking sure you can make up what you want to fit whatever agenda you have going on but not all men or even women fit whatever people have made up for them

YourPeppyAmberTraybake · 08/10/2025 22:12

Look at porn for the answer, most blokes aren’t wanking off to size 16 50 year olds.

TempestTost · 08/10/2025 22:16

Yes OP I think most men are attracted to women in the age bracket of about 16 to 30.

That doesn't mean they are only attracted to them, or necessarily that they would want to date someone much younger, but I would think pretty much 100% of men find that age group very physically attractive.

Honestly I can't find it in me to let that bother me. Those are prime reproductive years for women, it would be pretty weird if the male of the species didn't find them attractive.

youalright · 08/10/2025 22:17

To be fair I think most men get more attractive with age as women not so much. But I'm a straight female so it might just be because im not attracted to women that I feel like this.

PermanentTemporary · 08/10/2025 22:18

Oh dear I suppose I think it’s funny.

Yes I think most men find young women ‘hottest’ and that’s what Carr was joking about. That and breaking taboos - by joking he’s acknowledged that it is a taboo. Attraction in terms of a relationship is more complex than that. I also think a big majority of men really wouldn’t go there in terms of actually dating someone 30 years younger. Though mostly because their mates would rip the piss out of them.

I’m only really attracted to men over 40, though tbh that still gives me a range at least 16 years younger than me. I don’t really think interchangeable young men that I’ve only seen pictures of are particularly ‘hot’. That probably is a bit different from the average man. Maybe I’m lucky that the men I’m with just show zero interest in other women, never mind extremely young women? It’s not that uncommon though, there are lots of nice men out there.