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Original poster

To ask if most straight men are attracted much younger women?

415 replies

RubyTuesday10 · 08/10/2025 21:11

Had a depressing moment at work today, male colleague played a Jimmy Carr stand-up clip on his phone and it went along the lines of “if I had to pick my favourite child it would be my neighbour’s hot daughter.” The other men with him laughed at it. I couldn’t help feeling a bit nauseous and it’s made me question whether many older straight men actually do fantasise about girls in their late teens or whatever. Perhaps I have been naive to think it was something that just appealed to a minority of perverts. One or two of them have daughters too and it just strikes me as odd that they could even laugh at a joke like that. Am I naive to feel this way?

OP posts:
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7
GaIadriel · 15/10/2025 22:42

GaIadriel · 15/10/2025 22:40

Aren't there more obese women than men though?

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If so, it would make sense that women are the ones getting defensive about it.

GaIadriel · 15/10/2025 22:57

PrincessSophieFrederike · 15/10/2025 14:11

Obviously this isn't a terribly reliable metric, but I can't think of a single male celebrity whose been lauded for their attractiveness while being bald.. Goggling comes up with mainly examples like Travolta who were not bald when they were praised for their looks.

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Vin Diesel, Idris Elba, David Beckham, Jason Statham, Bruce Willis. Loads more.

Dare I say this is a rather white middle class perspective as a lot of black men shave their heads and are regarded as very attractive. If you like rugged bearded guys that look strong it's a good look. Not so much if you want a desk jockey type that likes cheese, fine wine, and golf.

YourPeppyAmberTraybake · 15/10/2025 22:57

PrincessSophieFrederike · 15/10/2025 14:11

Obviously this isn't a terribly reliable metric, but I can't think of a single male celebrity whose been lauded for their attractiveness while being bald.. Goggling comes up with mainly examples like Travolta who were not bald when they were praised for their looks.

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I think Luke Goss looks even hotter now he’s bald.

GaIadriel · 15/10/2025 23:00

PrincessSophieFrederike · 15/10/2025 22:49

Men are more likely to be overweight or obese, but women are more likely to be specifically obese.

I guess metabolism plays a role, since women have more fat than muscle naturally. Also the fact that men are more likely to exercise more.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=www.smf.co.uk/publications/gendered-experiences-of-obesity/%23:~:text%3DTrends%2520in%2520obesity%2520rates%2520among,be%2520relatively%2520low%2520household%2520incomes.&ved=2ahUKEwjozv-6lqeQAxWMVkEAHQc0LoIQzsoNegQIHxAe&usg=AOvVaw10CSe25JzD9-b5bhxG8jnk

Don't forget that a jacked man will often have an 'obese' bmi as it's just height and weight rather than body composition. A woman with an obese bmi is usually obese.

PrincessSophieFrederike · 15/10/2025 23:22

GaIadriel · 15/10/2025 23:00

Don't forget that a jacked man will often have an 'obese' bmi as it's just height and weight rather than body composition. A woman with an obese bmi is usually obese.

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That's true re BMI..
Do surveys count jacked men as obese? That's stupid if they do..

GaIadriel · 15/10/2025 23:33

5128gap · 15/10/2025 06:23

Yes I understand that women can also look older and sun damaged. My point was that you describe that as a positive in a man while likening a woman to 'an old leather handbag', when in reality they're both signs that the person isn't at their biological prime, so if these theories hold true, should be overlooked as a mate.
Yet your imagination, fueled by the propaganda of older men, reinvents middle aged Colin, who has spent too much time round the pool in Benidorm, as a manly man who looks that way because he's spent a life hunting and protecting.
Women may report becoming more attracted to bald men as they (the women) age because they are likely to be partnered with one and are biased/kind or else realistic about how hirsute their dating pool has become. If it was really a plus and percieved as 'wisdom' then young women would be attracted to them too.

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Colin the orange ex pat as a lifelong hunter protector? 🤣 I doubt it. Maybe a lifelong hunter and protector of kebabs and pints.

You keep making sweeping and unfounded statements. This must mean this and this. First it was 'if this applies to men then it must apply to women'. Now it's 'if this applies to older women it must apply to young women'.

There are massive differences between people of varying sex and age. Otherwise we might as well say "older people are more likely to be conservative/vote for brexit so this must apply to younger people too".

Studies repeatedly show that bald men are perceived as more dominant and confident. I might wonder if this appeals to women as they start to look for stable and dependable men rather than hipster rockstars with manbuns who resemble their youthful crushes. Nobody wants a man who spends more time on his hair then they do.

They've done studies using AI imaging and the very same men are perceived as more confident and dominant when bald. Certainly people are weird about it because if you suggest women don't look as good without long hair they say this is social conditioning and often get a bit irate. But it's true IMO. Men tend to like feminine women but women don't tend to like feminine men.

It's certainly rare outside the lesbian scene to want a butch woman and the visual difference between a woman with a pixie cut and a butch can sometimes just be a couple of stone.

I hate all this modern feminist insistence on making everything about social conditioning, misogyny, proganda, etc. They're always so desperate to shoehorn in some social theory and insinuate that those that disgree have been brainwashed when in reality the vast majority of women nowadays reject 'feminism' and instead profess to support equality (not really interchangeable phrases nowadays). At least a gun only has one trigger lol.

Studies have shown baldness in men is seen as a non-threatening form of social dominance.

Bald men are also thought to be more socially mature, intelligent, educated and honest compared with men who have a full head of hair.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-14682669/amp/Women-attracted-BALD-men-study-reveals.html

GaIadriel · 15/10/2025 23:35

Sorry, bit harsh but they need to stop pretending to be the arbiter of all women.

PrincessSophieFrederike · 15/10/2025 23:52

GaIadriel · 15/10/2025 23:33

Colin the orange ex pat as a lifelong hunter protector? 🤣 I doubt it. Maybe a lifelong hunter and protector of kebabs and pints.

You keep making sweeping and unfounded statements. This must mean this and this. First it was 'if this applies to men then it must apply to women'. Now it's 'if this applies to older women it must apply to young women'.

There are massive differences between people of varying sex and age. Otherwise we might as well say "older people are more likely to be conservative/vote for brexit so this must apply to younger people too".

Studies repeatedly show that bald men are perceived as more dominant and confident. I might wonder if this appeals to women as they start to look for stable and dependable men rather than hipster rockstars with manbuns who resemble their youthful crushes. Nobody wants a man who spends more time on his hair then they do.

They've done studies using AI imaging and the very same men are perceived as more confident and dominant when bald. Certainly people are weird about it because if you suggest women don't look as good without long hair they say this is social conditioning and often get a bit irate. But it's true IMO. Men tend to like feminine women but women don't tend to like feminine men.

It's certainly rare outside the lesbian scene to want a butch woman and the visual difference between a woman with a pixie cut and a butch can sometimes just be a couple of stone.

I hate all this modern feminist insistence on making everything about social conditioning, misogyny, proganda, etc. They're always so desperate to shoehorn in some social theory and insinuate that those that disgree have been brainwashed when in reality the vast majority of women nowadays reject 'feminism' and instead profess to support equality (not really interchangeable phrases nowadays). At least a gun only has one trigger lol.

Studies have shown baldness in men is seen as a non-threatening form of social dominance.

Bald men are also thought to be more socially mature, intelligent, educated and honest compared with men who have a full head of hair.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-14682669/amp/Women-attracted-BALD-men-study-reveals.html

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I agree with quite a bit of this. Will look at the bald study.
Odd comment about butch women being fatter than others - from my experience of the lesbian scene, they don't tend to be particularly fat, plenty are quite into sport and fitness, sometimes weightlifting.
It's true lesbians are more likely to be overweight on average. Two reasons are that women are generally less demanding re weight & other visual things, (and/or feel less comfortable with being demanding) & stress from various stuff (trans madness now, tiny dating pool - plus a lot of studies on these are from years back when prejudice was worse) . Also that spaces for lesbians often include alcohol.
Aside from that, I definitely think a butch woman and a woman with a pixie cut are distinguishable. The haircut obviously, clothes & styling too.

PrincessSophieFrederike · 16/10/2025 00:00

DM comments are notoriously often full of idiots ofc, but I do think it's notable that most appear to not agree with the study.

GaIadriel · 16/10/2025 01:25

PrincessSophieFrederike · 15/10/2025 23:52

I agree with quite a bit of this. Will look at the bald study.
Odd comment about butch women being fatter than others - from my experience of the lesbian scene, they don't tend to be particularly fat, plenty are quite into sport and fitness, sometimes weightlifting.
It's true lesbians are more likely to be overweight on average. Two reasons are that women are generally less demanding re weight & other visual things, (and/or feel less comfortable with being demanding) & stress from various stuff (trans madness now, tiny dating pool - plus a lot of studies on these are from years back when prejudice was worse) . Also that spaces for lesbians often include alcohol.
Aside from that, I definitely think a butch woman and a woman with a pixie cut are distinguishable. The haircut obviously, clothes & styling too.

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Sorry, I was being a bit snarky/tongue in cheek. A cheeky whisky will do that.

I wasn't suggesting that butch women are fatter. Although you make a good point that they likely feel inclined to adhere to 'female beauty standards'. I was more getting at the fact that a lot of women get exasperated at the suggestion that women generally look better with long hair but are quite happy to opine about how much better men look with hair.

The beauty standard is usually set by the opposite sex (eye of the beholder and all that) and men tend to like a feminine appearance. I think if a woman has very short hair and isn't 'dainty' she can sometimes look a bit butch. I know it's a bit taboo to say but it's like how women can generally get away with saying they don't date shorter men but a man will ruffle a few feathers is he says he doesn't date above a size 10.

I think a lot of people haven't really grasped that 'be nice' was actually more of a life philosophy for many of us rather than a commandment to be followed, and people often don't like being told what to do. Like how I'm usually happy to buy someone a drink/get a round in until somebody actually orders me tox at which point I'd probs be like "actually, nah".

The trans lobby have found this out to their own consternation. They never had any actual power that wasn't dependent on people acquiesing to their demands and 'being nice'. However, I feel like their entitlement caused people to lose their goodwill and eventually say "sorry Krystal but you'll have to use the gents from now on"." And now the chicken hascl flown then coop they're powerles despite their impotent fury.

PrincessSophieFrederike · 16/10/2025 03:01

GaIadriel · 16/10/2025 01:25

Sorry, I was being a bit snarky/tongue in cheek. A cheeky whisky will do that.

I wasn't suggesting that butch women are fatter. Although you make a good point that they likely feel inclined to adhere to 'female beauty standards'. I was more getting at the fact that a lot of women get exasperated at the suggestion that women generally look better with long hair but are quite happy to opine about how much better men look with hair.

The beauty standard is usually set by the opposite sex (eye of the beholder and all that) and men tend to like a feminine appearance. I think if a woman has very short hair and isn't 'dainty' she can sometimes look a bit butch. I know it's a bit taboo to say but it's like how women can generally get away with saying they don't date shorter men but a man will ruffle a few feathers is he says he doesn't date above a size 10.

I think a lot of people haven't really grasped that 'be nice' was actually more of a life philosophy for many of us rather than a commandment to be followed, and people often don't like being told what to do. Like how I'm usually happy to buy someone a drink/get a round in until somebody actually orders me tox at which point I'd probs be like "actually, nah".

The trans lobby have found this out to their own consternation. They never had any actual power that wasn't dependent on people acquiesing to their demands and 'being nice'. However, I feel like their entitlement caused people to lose their goodwill and eventually say "sorry Krystal but you'll have to use the gents from now on"." And now the chicken hascl flown then coop they're powerles despite their impotent fury.

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That's ok -I agree re hair. I do think women can look equally good with short hair if they have good bone structure but obviously not everyone does. And the same goes for men imo. Beards can play a similar role for men that long hair does for women in masking/distracting from features
It's partly why there have been trends of runway models shaving their heads. They can afford it because it will just highlight their faces more. But most people, men or women, aren't going to look better bald.

True that a fat woman with a pixie cut might be seen as butch (whereas a slim Jean Seberg type wouldn't) That indicates sterotypes more than reality though. Quite a few masculine lesbians are slight/'dainty' in build, it's not limited to overweight/non-'dainty' women. A well-known example would be 70s supermodel Gia Carangi- she was butch in her private life but clearly also could adhere to conventional feminine requirements when needed. Or Ellen Page before the recent debacle...

McSilkson · 16/10/2025 03:13

RingoJuice · 09/10/2025 10:28

I would wonder if there was a distinction made between ‘objectively most attractive’ and ‘what you are attracted to’, because to me, there is no point in being attracted to someone out of your league. Wonder how they framed it.

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I think the effect of self-perception and/or self-consciousness is a major element in the difference between men and women in this respect. I think most men don't think much, if at all, about their own attractiveness or likely appeal (or lack thereof) to the object of their attraction. They just want what they want, without being overly hampered by humility or self-doubt (or, one might say, realism!). It's almost enviable, in a way. I suspect it's the result of spending their lives as presumed sexual agents/subjects - "I want" - rather than aspiring sexual objects - "am I wanted?". I doubt the average man gives much thought to how "visible" vs. "invisible" he is, which seems to equate to perceived fuckability.

I also think men are frankly more honest about this, to themselves and to others. I don't think many women could even admit to themselves that they might be attracted to significantly younger men. I think women are generally much more preoccupied with propriety and how they are perceived by others, and by themselves.

5128gap · 16/10/2025 07:28

GaIadriel · 15/10/2025 23:33

Colin the orange ex pat as a lifelong hunter protector? 🤣 I doubt it. Maybe a lifelong hunter and protector of kebabs and pints.

You keep making sweeping and unfounded statements. This must mean this and this. First it was 'if this applies to men then it must apply to women'. Now it's 'if this applies to older women it must apply to young women'.

There are massive differences between people of varying sex and age. Otherwise we might as well say "older people are more likely to be conservative/vote for brexit so this must apply to younger people too".

Studies repeatedly show that bald men are perceived as more dominant and confident. I might wonder if this appeals to women as they start to look for stable and dependable men rather than hipster rockstars with manbuns who resemble their youthful crushes. Nobody wants a man who spends more time on his hair then they do.

They've done studies using AI imaging and the very same men are perceived as more confident and dominant when bald. Certainly people are weird about it because if you suggest women don't look as good without long hair they say this is social conditioning and often get a bit irate. But it's true IMO. Men tend to like feminine women but women don't tend to like feminine men.

It's certainly rare outside the lesbian scene to want a butch woman and the visual difference between a woman with a pixie cut and a butch can sometimes just be a couple of stone.

I hate all this modern feminist insistence on making everything about social conditioning, misogyny, proganda, etc. They're always so desperate to shoehorn in some social theory and insinuate that those that disgree have been brainwashed when in reality the vast majority of women nowadays reject 'feminism' and instead profess to support equality (not really interchangeable phrases nowadays). At least a gun only has one trigger lol.

Studies have shown baldness in men is seen as a non-threatening form of social dominance.

Bald men are also thought to be more socially mature, intelligent, educated and honest compared with men who have a full head of hair.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-14682669/amp/Women-attracted-BALD-men-study-reveals.html

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The whole thread is based on a sweeping statement. So why shouldn't I add a few of my own? I think its fair to say that there are 'studies' to show pretty much anything you want to prove. In this case, men have much to gain by perpetuating the idea that they improve with age, their wrinkles and thinning hair make them even more attractive, while women have a shelf life and are past it at 35. The more people buy into this nonsense the more likely old men will be able to present themselves as a prize a younger woman should nab because her options are running out. And I dislike the way some women are enabling this.
Truth is, age and lifestyle does its work on both sexes. Some get touched with a lighter hand and preserve themselves better. However this is more likely to be women than men.
Also a truth, most people chose partners within 5 years of their own age. So, there is very scanty if any evidence to suggest young women are attracted to old men as a pattern of behaviour. And if men were attractive when old and bald and 'rugged' why would they not be?
I'm sure old men are attracted to young women, but so what? What we want and what we can get are not the same.

IAmThePrettiestManOnMyIsland · 16/10/2025 11:48

IShouldNotCoco · 15/10/2025 18:14

Yes but Jason Statham is not the average bald men. Most men you meet in real life don’t look like him 🤣

Most blokes with hair don't look like celebs either 😂

Calliopespa · 16/10/2025 11:51

MrTumblesSpottyBoxers · 08/10/2025 21:36

The amount of men driving cars turning their heads 180 degrees to stare at school girls, it doesn't surprise me.

We are surrounded by men who may not act on it or admit it out loud, but would be more than up for shacking up with a 16 year old if they could get away it and not get shamed for it

I guess it's up to us to keep shaming then....

Avonusedtobegood · 16/10/2025 11:52

AngelinaFibres · 08/10/2025 22:05

When my first husband and I were 30 he left me for a 17 year old. We'd just had a holiday to Centre Parks where he spent the whole week looking at , and commenting ( to me) on how 'fuckable' young women around the pool were. Some were 14. When I pointed out to him that the person in question was a young teen he was entirely unbothered.

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I think you had a lucky escape.💐

Calliopespa · 16/10/2025 11:52

McSilkson · 16/10/2025 03:13

I think the effect of self-perception and/or self-consciousness is a major element in the difference between men and women in this respect. I think most men don't think much, if at all, about their own attractiveness or likely appeal (or lack thereof) to the object of their attraction. They just want what they want, without being overly hampered by humility or self-doubt (or, one might say, realism!). It's almost enviable, in a way. I suspect it's the result of spending their lives as presumed sexual agents/subjects - "I want" - rather than aspiring sexual objects - "am I wanted?". I doubt the average man gives much thought to how "visible" vs. "invisible" he is, which seems to equate to perceived fuckability.

I also think men are frankly more honest about this, to themselves and to others. I don't think many women could even admit to themselves that they might be attracted to significantly younger men. I think women are generally much more preoccupied with propriety and how they are perceived by others, and by themselves.

Show quote history

Honestly, I'd just find a much younger man boring.

PrincessSophieFrederike · 16/10/2025 13:00

McSilkson · 16/10/2025 03:13

I think the effect of self-perception and/or self-consciousness is a major element in the difference between men and women in this respect. I think most men don't think much, if at all, about their own attractiveness or likely appeal (or lack thereof) to the object of their attraction. They just want what they want, without being overly hampered by humility or self-doubt (or, one might say, realism!). It's almost enviable, in a way. I suspect it's the result of spending their lives as presumed sexual agents/subjects - "I want" - rather than aspiring sexual objects - "am I wanted?". I doubt the average man gives much thought to how "visible" vs. "invisible" he is, which seems to equate to perceived fuckability.

I also think men are frankly more honest about this, to themselves and to others. I don't think many women could even admit to themselves that they might be attracted to significantly younger men. I think women are generally much more preoccupied with propriety and how they are perceived by others, and by themselves.

Show quote history

I'm not that convinced by this. The incel movement is an extreme example, but most men do have some concern about their appearance & sexual appeal. If your theory holds, why is male insecurity about height a thing? Why do so many men spend a fortune on hair replacements? Why do men try to gain muscle/bulk up (obviously partly for strength/exercise, but not only). And a more indelicate one : Why do so many men worry about penis size?

The men who have the kind of attitude you describe probably are naturally attractive and/or have power/money/charm etc so don't need to worry if their looks are poorer

Cheese55 · 16/10/2025 13:23

The incels think they are v good looking and wonderful but nasty women won't have sex with them when they ask for it.

PrincessSophieFrederike · 16/10/2025 14:05

This article is also revealing since it's about gay men : who typically seek both looks and status in a partner. Whereas straight men do have less pressure because women tend to value other qualities more, at least to some extent.

https://highline.huffingtonpost.com/articles/en/gay-loneliness/

Why Didn't Gay Rights Cure Gay Loneliness?

The surprising new science of the closet.

https://highline.huffingtonpost.com/articles/en/gay-loneliness/

McSilkson · 16/10/2025 18:14

PrincessSophieFrederike · 16/10/2025 13:00

I'm not that convinced by this. The incel movement is an extreme example, but most men do have some concern about their appearance & sexual appeal. If your theory holds, why is male insecurity about height a thing? Why do so many men spend a fortune on hair replacements? Why do men try to gain muscle/bulk up (obviously partly for strength/exercise, but not only). And a more indelicate one : Why do so many men worry about penis size?

The men who have the kind of attitude you describe probably are naturally attractive and/or have power/money/charm etc so don't need to worry if their looks are poorer

Show quote history

I mean, speaking bluntly, there are plenty of white-haired men in their 50s/60s who seem to think nothing of hitting on me, a woman in her 30s (it was the same in my 20s). None of these men have been "naturally attractive" or charming, and I doubt they had much in the way of money or power. There is "always one" at just about every event/bar/party I go to, and it's usually an old(er) guy who doesn't stand a chance. You just don't really see this behaviour from women.

I seem to be generally considered an attractive woman, judging on the responses I get, but I get more direct approaches from genuinely old or otherwise unattractive men. There is plenty of staring from the younger and more attractive ones, and even some blushing on occasion, but it rarely goes further than that. Sexual confidence in men seems to be inversely proportional to attractiveness a lot of the time - or at least it is often unaffected by unattractiveness or unsuitability.

I'm not saying men can't be insecure - of course they can - but the extent of that pales in comparison to female insecurity. I mean, women make up approximately 87% of cosmetic surgery patients in recent years, which speaks for itself.

And I can't see many men having a chance with a beautiful young babe with a perfect body (to paraphrase one poster on this thread) and turning it down because they thought themselves too "old" and "saggy"! That sentiment has been expressed by several women on this thread. Men don't count themselves out anywhere near as much as women.