To ask if most straight men are attracted much younger women?

[RubyTuesday10]

Had a depressing moment at work today, male colleague played a Jimmy Carr stand-up clip on his phone and it went along the lines of “if I had to pick my favourite child it would be my neighbour’s hot daughter.” The other men with him laughed at it. I couldn’t help feeling a bit nauseous and it’s made me question whether many older straight men actually do fantasise about girls in their late teens or whatever. Perhaps I have been naive to think it was something that just appealed to a minority of perverts. One or two of them have daughters too and it just strikes me as odd that they could even laugh at a joke like that. Am I naive to feel this way?

If you’ve ever sat in traffic while a load of high school girls walk past, and look at the men in their cars, it’s quite depressing.

I think women can be quite naive about this really.

Most men who are looking for an equal relationship would choose someone a similar age to have that relationship with.

The sort of men who are interested in an actual partner; who expect and want to play an equal role in raising children and running a household; equality around chores etc.

They generally also want a woman who is their 'best friend'; with whom they have common interests (music, films, cultural and political etc).

They find those women generally attractive because of the way attraction works.

You can't easily have that sort of equality in a relationship with someone 25+ years younger than you because of a lack of shared experiences, cultural references, different life stages, etc.

But just sex? That's a totally different thing and any woman who thinks her husband/partner (or men in general) isn't sexually attracted to much younger women is naive.

With few exceptions, straight men will have sex with women who are willing to have sex with them in the main. If they think that that will 'only' be women of their own age, that's who they'll go for. If they think they've got a chance with someone younger, they'll go for them.

Many men realise they'll just come of as creepy and younger women won't be interested so they stick with what they've got/can get even with her perimenopausal body. Others don't. But they all look and they all react.

I think your post is probably the fairest and most accurate. I suppose because it goes against the maternal protective instincts of us older women and because it means we have to question our own attractiveness, it makes it harder to accept, I guess.

To summarise, many older male friends have said to me over the years that, as they get older, men just tend to become more realistic with their expectations.

Women fall into two categories in their minds - those they want and those they can realistically get. Some will choose to focus on those they can realistically get and others will still pursue those they want.

I don't know if women feel the same way. I've always been attracted to men around my age (+5 years). Regardless of how old I have been and I'm 50 now. I can appreciate that men are attractive whatever their age but I wouldn’t be interested in them.

My wife is nearly 5 years older than me 😳
Maybe I was the “hot son next door” haha

All jokes aside, I don’t get it, I’m certainly not on the market, but for context I’m mid thirties, but wouldn’t entertain below 30.

That is because balding ages them beyond their years.

Possibly, men age better, less stress, I think younger ladies enjoy flirting with a good looking Dad.
I remember one of out friends Dad, we thought was attractive, looking back he was a pervy flirty Dad, but the friends did coo over him.

Of course men will in general always be sexually attracted to younger woman - it’s basic human genetics. In order to maximise
chances of producing healthy babies to further the species men are engineered to be attracted to the healthiest and most likely potential mothers - which is women in their late teens and twenties.

I think most men find 16 year olds beautiful and in a way desirable . Of course they do , the girls are fizzing with oestrogen and this triggers the urge to mate. BUT many of them would not attempt even casual flirting because it would seem sleazy or disrespectful or pathetic, or perhaps because they have mature relationships with women closer to their own ages, or daughters around that age who they wouldn’t want to be hit on by other men. 16 is the age of consent in this country so we can’t call people perverts for finding that age group sexy.

If I thought my DH was lusting after a 16 year old. I'd throw him out, I genuinely don't think he would. 21/25 possibly.
Tbf young men 21 to 25, look very different to 20 years ago, they're chiselled muscles and skincare routine. I have took a second glance on occasion, some are gorgeous.
I live beside a busy gym. 😬

I'm over 50 and I'm most attracted to men about 20 years younger than I am. I have dated some younger men and my preference is known to friends.

Now a man 20 years younger than me is in his 30s. He's a grown man, able to make his own decisions about who he dates. Not that I actually date men that young, because I have to be realistic, but I probably would if I could.

But I can imagine someone making that Jimmy Carr joke about me and the neighbours son. It's an exaggeration, but it's funny because of that. I don't really find teen boys attractive. But I would find the joke funny.

@Capillaryaction I disagree, and actually I think my idea of “attractive” has changed as I’ve got older.

Yes, obviously if I look at a photo of a man aged 20 and a man aged 50, then the younger one is likely to be more objectively attractive. No wrinkles, nice hair, not greying, not overweight, fresh faced, bright eyes etc.

But in terms of actually fancying someone, finding them attractive, imagining a relationship with them, or even just sex with them - I’m much more likely to choose the 50 year old, because he’s closer to my age, and instinctively I feel we’d have more in common and a better connection. At 58, with a face and figure to match, I can’t think of anything worse than being in bed with a young hunk with a perfect body!

This is probably the most depressing chart I’ve ever had the displeasure of seeing.

This was taken from research done by OKcupid.

Me too, attraction changes to suit us as we age.
I'm 45, I am in okay shape, I'd have zero interest in a man 20 years younger than me.
DH is 3 years younger.
When I find someone attractive they're in my age bracket.

I'm in my 50s and I work at a university. There are literally thousands of young women here. I notice those who are unusually pretty but to no more extent than I notice the ones who are unusually tall, or have a great hairstyle, or are wearing a cool band t-shirt. Much the same with the male students tbh. I'm not thinking about wanting to get into bed with any of them because ick. They're all younger than my own DCs.

I've pretty much sworn off dating but when I do idly think about the kind of women I could see myself with, they're all at least in their 40s.

It’s not just straight men either. Look at gay celebrities and their much younger partners.

To add, Jimmy has a sick humour, the shock factor, its his career, he's a happily married man. I have been to his show, he likes to shock.

You can’t interpret laughter like that. People laugh at surprising things, such as the word play there, and often becuase they are transgressive not accepted.

Googling research on ephebophilia tells me 20-30% of men have some attraction to 15-17 year olds, with 1% having a primary preference for that age.

I agree in part. Most men are attracted to younger women but I’d wager only the “beautiful” ones ie slim, long hair, minimal make up/natural beauty. And quite “girly”.

It’s a bit like male lesbian porn fantasies - they want to see two beautiful “lipstick lesbians” not two butch/androgynous lesbians.

Most men like aesthetically pleasing, compliant females. They’re not too hung up on goths, punks or skinhead girls.

I disagree a little with this post - I don’t think all women would fall into two categories - it’s not necessarily either/or. I do believe that men can still genuinely desire women 40 plus, they’re not always settling for what is available.

I laughed at the joke too. Doesn’t mean I am attracted to teenage girls or women in their early 20s, and it doesn’t indicate I approve of that kind of sad perving. I think it’s laughing at the ‘unexpectedness’ of the punchline rather than out of approval of that way of thinking. That said, I think most straight men are attracted to that late teens/ early 20s age group.

Man here

As we get older our tastes in women change and we tend to be/come attracted to women within our age group. As a 20 year old I wouldn't find many 50 year old women attractive, as a 50 year old I do.

However that doesn't mean that we still can't, and don't, find younger women attractive. Of course we do, they don't magically become unattractive just because we have got older. We might not want to date them as they are, usually, simply not mature enough to be interesting and/or we would have very little in common that either of us would find intellectually stimulating.

For the commenter who said that their partner would 'never look at a younger woman in that way', I am afraid that I have some bad news for you.

Prime fertility is mid 20s. Not 18.

It doesn't matter when "prime" fertility occurs. As far as nature is concerned, time's a wastin'. Early humans could be eaten by a tiger or contract a fatal disease at any time, so the sooner they started reproducing, the better. Evolution has seen to it that we have inherited these traits.

YANBU but it’s also a classic ‘pull back and reveal’ gag mechanism that is designed to elicit an almost Pavlovian laugh response. Then there is the additional layer of ‘ooh er’ controversial humour that Jimmy Carr is famous for.