To ask if most straight men are attracted much younger women?

[RubyTuesday10]

Had a depressing moment at work today, male colleague played a Jimmy Carr stand-up clip on his phone and it went along the lines of “if I had to pick my favourite child it would be my neighbour’s hot daughter.” The other men with him laughed at it. I couldn’t help feeling a bit nauseous and it’s made me question whether many older straight men actually do fantasise about girls in their late teens or whatever. Perhaps I have been naive to think it was something that just appealed to a minority of perverts. One or two of them have daughters too and it just strikes me as odd that they could even laugh at a joke like that. Am I naive to feel this way?

HA love it and you couldn't be more right.

Yep I agree. When I was at school, there were a number of girls aged 14-16 (maybe 9 or 10 of them over the time I was there) who had flings with older men. Some of them had one with a teacher, or the school janitor, or the school gardener. One girl was 14 when she got pregnant by the school janitor, and he was a 37 year old married man. He already had 7 children by his 2 wives. (3 with one, 4 with the other - who he was still married to.) His second wife was 10 years younger.

He left his (second) wife, for this girl and moved into a flat with her. The second wife divorced him for adultery. He married the girl when she was 18, and she was pregnant with their third child on the day they got married. So 10 children at this point. He was about 41 by now.

I moved out of the town soon after, and saw him some 10 years later, when he was in his early 50s, and he was with a different woman again. My friend with me knew his 'new' fling a bit, and she was 23 and had had 2 children with him at that point. She had one 2 months after she was 16, which means she was pregnant at 15. Utterly grim. He looked like a skinny Frank from Shameless too. Always looked dirty, with greasy hair, and was often drunk. (So he acted like Frank too. I don't think he worked again after he was sacked from the school for getting a 14 year old girl pregnant!)

How on earth he managed to get all these girls/young women to marry him just baffles me. So does the fact that he has NEVER been charged with having sex with under age girls!

Never underestimate the men who know how to talk to women. They could be dirty, unemployed etc but they'll always beat any 'respectable' man if they know what to say. We're psychologically orientated towards social behaviour, and it's also the primary thing that men are attracted to (despite the reputation for being solely interested in looks etc)

I think that you are looking at this from a woman’s perspective. I believe that many (or maybe most?) women need more than simple physical appearance to be attracted to someone. Men are different. They are much more visual. They may not want a relationship with a 15 year old, but they will be attracted to them, and would no doubt sleep with them if there were no consequences.

That’s awful. Imagine ruining your whole life like that from a bad decision at 14 😨

Would they really though? If faced with the reality of really having a relationship with a 16 year old I'm not sure.

Young people are in their peak physical prime and just look better. I often watch strictly come dancing and the male dancers are utterly gorgeous, they're also younger than my kids.

I think there's a massive difference between thinking phwoaaarrrrrr how gorgeous and the reality. I'd be mortified to do anything irl with a young man.

Back in the early 70's, as we transferred to secondary school at the age of 11, I met up with a group of new friends who had all come from the same primary school. They talked about another girl they knew from school who was mysteriously starting the new school a few weeks later than everyone else. No-one actually said why she was starting later but, eventually, it turned out that she had been involved in a 'relationship' with a much older man (in his late 20's) and this had come to light just as school was starting after the summer. (The guy in this case was, thankfully, taken to court and given a prison sentence.)

Human beings are just mammals like any other. Men being naturally attracted to young, but post pubescent, women is biologically normal, and it’s a consequence of millions of generations of evolution.

In exactly the same way, women are biologically hard wired to be attracted to high status men who have resources. Hence the age-old term ‘a good provider’. Modern society views this natural trait as perfectly normal & acceptable, but it quite rightly imposes strict limits on men’s natural traits because of power imbalances and the obvious potential for exploitation.

This is basic stuff, and it’t surprising how many people are so scientifically illiterate that they need to have it explained to them.

Men are more visual, but I don't think it's as solely visual as people think. Men seem to like personality traits that are usually expressed or associated with youth e.g. playfulness, emotional expression, but many of those are lost are women (and men) get older. It's one of the differences in what each sex finds attractive. For example someone gets older, gets more confident, starts taking control of things. For women that's generally attractive, for men, well there's no bigger boner killer than a bossy, controlling woman.

I know right. Let's say these girls weren't the brightest lights on the Christmas tree, and weren't middle class, or academic. They were from rough areas, and quite 'rough' families, but I think they could still have achieved a better life than getting pregnant at 14 by a man old enough to be their father, and continuing to have babies with him. This man (and men like him) target vulnerable girls from lower class families.

A man in his 40s looked my 13 year DD ( in the children’s hospital where she’d just been for an appt) up and down in a way that made be want to punch him right in his ugly fucking face. She was wearing her school uniform, and needless to say he didn’t even clock me …

That's a very interesting point!

Leonardo Dicaprio is a messed up person who probably chooses girlfriends young enough to be his daughter because of the power imbalance. His propensity towards getting off on violent acts towards sex workers is well known and certainly shows what kind of a man he is.

You can be a 50 year old man and obviously appreciate that a woman in her 20s looks good. But that’s where it should end. If that man is dating a woman in her 20s then he’s utterly pathetic, sorry. No other word for it.

Correct, men are more visual than women, but there is no way the majority of men are salivating over skinny 15 year old girls. That is paedophilia.

However, they are looking at women in their 20s and 30s with attraction. I've lost count of the number of articles I have seen on women feeling 'invisible' when they hit 50 and how some of us embrace it whilst others lament youth lost.

Vile isn’t it?

Gross. That's a paedo.

People joke about Leo and his girlfriends but it really is getting to the point where he just seems like an immature creep leeching on girls who are young enough to be his daughters, and if he keeps up this rate of turn over, will be young enough to be his granddaughters…
even the straight men I know have moved him from ‘legend’ category into ‘ I dunno man, aren’t you starting to be a bit weird’ category.

Do you think what is attractive to men in a partner is changing as we are changing? A couple of decades ago I think men would have put nurturing and sweet near the top of the list. Is it changing to earns well and is financially literate?

I think you are massively overthinking this OP.

I HIGHLY doubt there are many men in their 30/40s lusting after 16 year old girls.

That's just Jimmy Carr's humour......and like most other comedians, the jokes they make aren't a true reflection of society. They are just jokes.

This thread shows how so many are sadly lacking in critical thinking skills. It's more fun to rant about all men being disgusting sex perverts, rather than acknowledge the more ancient parts of their brains are simply receiving and reacting to information being communicated to them, as millions of years of evolution have programmed them to.

Vilest of the vile. She didn’t notice luckily partly because she was feeling really ill. She’s taller than me, but looks like, well a 13 year old.
It gave me the rage because I remember getting adult male attention suddenly at 12/13 and being absolutely bewildered and embarrassed. It was horrible, unwanted and really confusing.

Then should you not be campaigning for the age of consent to be raised to say 18? It makes no sense to legalise 'kids' having sex.

Sorry, but in your user name because you like to flash from bushes or something?

Eh? Actually, I think you've proved my point. I've explained basic biology, and your response is to suggest I'm male, and a flasher to boot.

Exactly this. Are they superficially attracted to them? Absolutely.

Does that mean they want to date them in the real world? no, not necessarily.

A bit like I can see that the cast of magic Mike is very easy on the eye, but it doesn’t really go any further than that.