Page 7 | Mother in Law has been stalking and harassing me

TheRealHousewifeofCheshire · 2025-10-07T21:51:10+00:00

Am I being unreasonable? For months I have had a series of missed calls from a mobile number. I usually block any spam calls or my phone blocks them automatically. I will also Google numbers and if they are obviously spam I will block them. This number was not obviously spam For reference I work in a building with little to no signal. I have tried to dial this number back when I get out of work as it was not obviously a spam number. It has never answered! I have sent numerous texts after calls asking who it was and threatening to report them. Today I had a medical appointment and so I was at home but in the shower. The number called and I messaged it. I told.my husband went to my appointment and thought not much further about it today (because I temporarily lost my vision due to medical appointment). Tonight, I realised my husband had messaged me asking for the number so I sent it to him. He has replied saying it is his mother! I know she can read texts. I have a different mobile number saved for her. Why would she never mention it or have given me her new mobile number? For months I thought it may have been one of any number of people I have had to take disciplinary action with. Due to the line of work I am in that is a common occurrence. I cannot believe the number belongs to my mother in law and has effectively made me feel stalked and harassed for an excessive number of months. AIBU? I am angry, hurt confused and upset. My husband has brushed it off.

burningorb · 08/10/2025 11:59

Call the number from a withheld number to see who answers.

Rusalina · 08/10/2025 13:25

this is a very weird thread

first of all, to call this stalking is utterly laughable. I wish my life was that sheltered as to consider this as such!! For one thing, surely she would assume your husband gave you the number - so how could she be trying to scare you?! She would assume you know it’s her! Finally even if she didn’t… a call once a month is hardly scary is it?

Tbh it seems really weird that it’s your MIL’s number. I would be doubtful of that fact without digging further myself - entirely possible that your husband made a mistake, and also very possible that he’s lying…

Heronwatcher · 08/10/2025 13:30

Is this a joke? Just say when you see her, “Hi MIL just to let you know I work every day so I can’t answer my phone between 9-6. Can you call DH if it’s urgent”. Chances are she’s either not heard the phone when you rang back or she’s not even worked out where messages are.

Plus what are you actually looking to achieve here- do you want her sent to prison for calling once a month (not that this would happen anyway).

willitevergetwarm · 08/10/2025 13:42

OP, unless I've missed it you haven't answered the question many people have asked. If you have answered and I missed it, then accept my apologies.
"how well do you usually get on with MIL?"
If this was me I'd certainly have mentioned to DH that the same number keeps ringing but not leaving a message, especially over the course of a couple of years. Do you 2 not speak to each other?
Personally I don't think it's hers I think DH may be telling you lies and there is another OW somewhere

Original poster

TheRealHousewifeofCheshire · 08/10/2025 13:57

Swiftie1878 · 08/10/2025 08:27

Tbh, if I was feeling ‘stalked’ and worried it might be someone feeling vengeful because of disciplinary action, I absolutely WOULD have alerted my husband to it in case anything happened.
You can’t play it up as a dramatic stalking incident, then play it down asking why would you talk to your husband about it.

You clearly have a poor relationship with your MIL, since you haven’t had a reason to call her for two years (and realise you had the wrong/old number), so just move on from it. No more drama llama.

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That isnt true. I have spoken to her and called but on the landline. Not a mystery number.

OP posts:

Ireolu · 08/10/2025 14:12

Doesn't make sense

I get missed calls at least twice a day from mobiles that my phone/the internet doesn't identify as spam. I block every single number if they don't leave a message. It's spam until proven otherwise.

MotherMary14 · 08/10/2025 17:56

Have you called your MIL on the landline yet for an explanation @TheRealHousewifeofCheshire? I would want to talk to her immediately to find out what she was playing at. I also wouldn't take your DH's word for it that it's her new number.

Original poster

TheRealHousewifeofCheshire · 08/10/2025 17:56

Cycleaway · 08/10/2025 08:26

For a prolonged period of time, you felt as if you were being stalked or harassed. It sounds as if your job means that this would be plausible/worrying for you. And it also sounds as if for at least some of that time your DH knew that this was going on.

It is quite odd behaviour from your MiL, but it doesn’t sound as if she was stalking or harassing you, maybe just being a bit tech illiterate, and weird in not communicating her change of number or replying to your messages

I don’t think it is at all unreasonable to imagine you’d feel a bit spooked by the whole experience, whereas to them it sounds a bit of a comical misunderstanding. If you ignore the context leading up to you discovering what was going on, they might think you’re overreacting, but looking at the wider picture, you aren’t and they’re not showing a lot of empathy.

Thank you for your support and understanding. I am going to come off the Internet for a while. It has turned into a wild place where I don't belong.

OP posts:

FormidableAnt · 08/10/2025 21:03

You are getting impatient responses because having come here to discuss what you perceive as stalking and harassment by your MIL, you've consistently refused to answer logical questions about your relationship with her or what she is like as a person.

If she has a history of stalking and harassing other family members, perhaps it would be easier to understand why you feel she's doing it to you. If not, a once a month bum dial from someone you have spoken to cordially on the land-line during the last two years does not merit your reaction.

When things don't make sense, it's natural for people to pull at the loose threads and see where they go. And ignoring questions generally means you know the answers will shape a different narrative than the one you want to project

Original poster

TheRealHousewifeofCheshire · 08/10/2025 21:23

FormidableAnt · 08/10/2025 21:03

You are getting impatient responses because having come here to discuss what you perceive as stalking and harassment by your MIL, you've consistently refused to answer logical questions about your relationship with her or what she is like as a person.

If she has a history of stalking and harassing other family members, perhaps it would be easier to understand why you feel she's doing it to you. If not, a once a month bum dial from someone you have spoken to cordially on the land-line during the last two years does not merit your reaction.

When things don't make sense, it's natural for people to pull at the loose threads and see where they go. And ignoring questions generally means you know the answers will shape a different narrative than the one you want to project

Not at all. I am just drained.

Take care

OP posts:

Original poster

TheRealHousewifeofCheshire · 08/10/2025 21:27

TheRealHousewifeofCheshire · 08/10/2025 21:23

Not at all. I am just drained.

Take care

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I am also not impatient don't know what gave you that impression.

I always thought this was a supportive forum, even when people had differing views. I was wrong. It is full of trolls and hatred.

OP posts:

Praying4Peace · 08/10/2025 21:28

TheRealHousewifeofCheshire · 07/10/2025 23:24

Every month sometimes more than once a month. There was a couple.of months with zero calls but not once a year, no.

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So not very often

TheCheekyCyanHelper · 08/10/2025 22:39

Motnight · 08/10/2025 07:52

Also log with 101:😬

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You are being insane. Her MIL tried to contact her once a month. Thats not weird, its not creepy. Her hubby just forgot to tell OP his mom has a new number.

TheCheekyCyanHelper · 08/10/2025 22:43

TheRealHousewifeofCheshire · 08/10/2025 17:56

Thank you for your support and understanding. I am going to come off the Internet for a while. It has turned into a wild place where I don't belong.

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Thats because you cone off like a nut job.

Original poster

TheRealHousewifeofCheshire · 08/10/2025 22:52

I truly appreciate those who offered support or constructive advice, I also want to respond to some of the more critical and, frankly, unkind comments.

This post was difficult to write. I shared something because I’ve been dealing with an ongoing situation.

I turned to this community not for validation, but for perspective and yes, for support.
I understand that people have different opinions, and I welcome different views when they’re shared with empathy and a genuine intent to help.

Some of the responses have crossed a line into cruelty, mockery, or outright trolling and that’s not ok. Disagreement doesn’t need to come with personal attacks or assumptions about someone's character or my mental health.

We can all do better to remember that behind every post is a real person, often struggling and just trying their best.

If my situation doesn’t resonate with you, that’s fine. But if your first instinct is to ridicule or dismiss someone, I’d kindly ask you to reflect on why that is. I am sorry that this is your firet reaction

To those who have offered kind and balanced replies (even to those who don't agree) thank you. Your words meant more than you might realise.

I will not be commenting further.

@Mumsnet needs to monitor threads and remove trolls.

OP posts:

TheCheekyCyanHelper · 08/10/2025 22:57

TheRealHousewifeofCheshire · 08/10/2025 22:52

I truly appreciate those who offered support or constructive advice, I also want to respond to some of the more critical and, frankly, unkind comments.

This post was difficult to write. I shared something because I’ve been dealing with an ongoing situation.

I turned to this community not for validation, but for perspective and yes, for support.
I understand that people have different opinions, and I welcome different views when they’re shared with empathy and a genuine intent to help.

Some of the responses have crossed a line into cruelty, mockery, or outright trolling and that’s not ok. Disagreement doesn’t need to come with personal attacks or assumptions about someone's character or my mental health.

We can all do better to remember that behind every post is a real person, often struggling and just trying their best.

If my situation doesn’t resonate with you, that’s fine. But if your first instinct is to ridicule or dismiss someone, I’d kindly ask you to reflect on why that is. I am sorry that this is your firet reaction

To those who have offered kind and balanced replies (even to those who don't agree) thank you. Your words meant more than you might realise.

I will not be commenting further.

@Mumsnet needs to monitor threads and remove trolls.

Edited

You are the one trolling everyone. At least I hope you are....

confusedlady10 · 08/10/2025 23:06

TheRealHousewifeofCheshire · 08/10/2025 22:52

I truly appreciate those who offered support or constructive advice, I also want to respond to some of the more critical and, frankly, unkind comments.

This post was difficult to write. I shared something because I’ve been dealing with an ongoing situation.

I turned to this community not for validation, but for perspective and yes, for support.
I understand that people have different opinions, and I welcome different views when they’re shared with empathy and a genuine intent to help.

Some of the responses have crossed a line into cruelty, mockery, or outright trolling and that’s not ok. Disagreement doesn’t need to come with personal attacks or assumptions about someone's character or my mental health.

We can all do better to remember that behind every post is a real person, often struggling and just trying their best.

If my situation doesn’t resonate with you, that’s fine. But if your first instinct is to ridicule or dismiss someone, I’d kindly ask you to reflect on why that is. I am sorry that this is your firet reaction

To those who have offered kind and balanced replies (even to those who don't agree) thank you. Your words meant more than you might realise.

I will not be commenting further.

@Mumsnet needs to monitor threads and remove trolls.

Edited

Op I know Mumsnet might not be the nicest place sometimes, but tbh people's responses to you are out of annoyance for you refusing to answer direct questions or you acting like we are ridiculous for asking them. You say you're not incompetent (whatever that is supposed to mean in this context) and that you don't feel the need to bring this up logically as a point with husband as an independent woman.

But, you won't answer as to clearly why you are unable to out right speak to her about this or what your relationship is like/meeting with her. What are you expecting? Your OP was confusing and slightly dramatic in your wording of stalking, and when people ask for clarity to try and help or understand the situation better, your responses don't help. I hope no one on here has offended you though, including myself.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 08/10/2025 23:07

@Mumsnet needs to monitor threads and remove trolls.

They do. This is a post moderated site.

And @Mumsnet doesn't exist.

MoodyMargaret11 · 08/10/2025 23:11

ExtraOnions · 07/10/2025 23:32

Over the last few years you have had some calls, maybe a dozen (but you don’t seem to specify a number) from an unknown number, which turned out to be your MIL from a new number - this is neither stalking or harrasment.

The whole thing is bizzare - the ONLY times your MIL called, you were unable to pick up, and, you never spoke to her, on the phone, any other times. You also never blocked the unexpected number .

Omg could it be like this movie where the characters could never speak/get together because of some kind if time loop? What was it, had Josh Hartnet in it 😄

SnowFrogJelly · 09/10/2025 01:03

It’s a Mumsnet pile on

PrincessofWells · 09/10/2025 01:33

I really cannot fathom how this could be considered stalking and tbh it's really insulting to women who have actually been stalked, harassed and intimidated by the perpetrator. I don't wish to be unkind, but this sounds a bit paranoid and misogynist.

I suppose the other side of it is my daughter in law ignores my phone calls, never answers and has text me threatening to go to the police if I don't stop calling her. I only wanted to check in on her and see how she is . . .

JillyGiraffe · 09/10/2025 02:10

notatinydancer · 08/10/2025 08:26

But she would have that number saved as OP’s. Why wouldn’t she answer it or reply to a text ?

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How do you know she has it saved? She has a new phone number, maybe a new phone…

Dippythedino · 09/10/2025 02:22

TheRealHousewifeofCheshire · 08/10/2025 22:52

I truly appreciate those who offered support or constructive advice, I also want to respond to some of the more critical and, frankly, unkind comments.

This post was difficult to write. I shared something because I’ve been dealing with an ongoing situation.

I turned to this community not for validation, but for perspective and yes, for support.
I understand that people have different opinions, and I welcome different views when they’re shared with empathy and a genuine intent to help.

Some of the responses have crossed a line into cruelty, mockery, or outright trolling and that’s not ok. Disagreement doesn’t need to come with personal attacks or assumptions about someone's character or my mental health.

We can all do better to remember that behind every post is a real person, often struggling and just trying their best.

If my situation doesn’t resonate with you, that’s fine. But if your first instinct is to ridicule or dismiss someone, I’d kindly ask you to reflect on why that is. I am sorry that this is your firet reaction

To those who have offered kind and balanced replies (even to those who don't agree) thank you. Your words meant more than you might realise.

I will not be commenting further.

@Mumsnet needs to monitor threads and remove trolls.

Edited

I thought you were a troll tbh by posting such rage bait, you've come across as hard work.

FormidableAnt · 09/10/2025 07:23

When I responded, I gave some reasons why I believed you were getting impatient responses, meaning from us. You responded, "I am also not impatient, don't know what gave you that impression."

Nothing gave me that impression because I didn't say that. I understand you might have been skimming replies or you're tired, but another possibility is you are swift to perceive criticism where it doesn't exist.

Your post is titled, Mother in Law has been stalking and harassing me. This is a very serious situation, a terrifying situation, and those of us who asked you for more context, or your history with this woman, were simply trying to fill the gaps so we could give more constructive advice.

And you think that's a definition of trolling? Lol.

176509user · 09/10/2025 07:35

TheRealHousewifeofCheshire · 08/10/2025 21:27

I am also not impatient don't know what gave you that impression.

I always thought this was a supportive forum, even when people had differing views. I was wrong. It is full of trolls and hatred.

Show quote history

Agree with you there,OP.
While MN can be helpful and has been a huge help to me ( long time ago), I’ve noticed it is now increasingly full of horrible people who have no empathy or patience at all. Perhaps a sign of modern societal changes in general.
You have no obligation to reply to questions or give updates but I hope you’ve found enough helpful responses here to help you take positive steps and move forward with your concern.