New neighbour AIBU?

[Foxyloxymoxy]

Our new neighbour knocked on the door just a while ago asking if my Dh who they’ve never met would come in and help them erect their shed. I said that we have plans and we would be out for most of the day. To which she replied “I’d like to do it before it gets dark, we have lots to put in there so we can sort out the house”. To be honest, I didn’t know what to say to that. At this point my dh came to the door , she repeated the question and he hesitated (diy is not his forte!) and said pretty much what I had said. She asked, could he do it later and he replied not really because he has to pack because he’s going away tomorrow. She got a bit upset, said okay and walked off. Are we being unreasonable to have refused?

Not in the slightest.

How cheeky! I think if they needed an extra person to help with one specific fiddly bit for a few minutes to hold it all together then that would be ok but not to do the entire job, that could take hours!

Absolutely not unreasonable to have said no. I would be a bit surprised if a neighbour I’d never met before knocked on my door to ask for a favour like that!

If I was confident with DIY and had nothing else to do, I would offer to help, at a time that was convenient, but it doesn’t sound like this is the scenario.

She can do it herself or pay someone to do it. Cheeky cow. It's hardly a two minute job!

I think she underestimated the task or thought it would arrive made…I’m so confused at the request to be honest. And now I keep thinking is she going to keep asking all week?

Yanbu it's not yours or you DH's obligation to help her build her shed, she needs to learn to do it for herself.

I think you need to stamp this out straight away. If her first request is "build my shed" what on earth is she going to escalate it to in the future?!

I think you just have to say sorry, we can't help, but here's the number of a local handyman (and have it ready to thrust into her CF hand 😂)

I'd say this is the opportunity to be very firm about not getting involved or they will constantly be CFs

These people always catch you on the hop, don't they 😁
You absolutely did the right thing, cheeky buggers!!!

Just avoid her as much as possible.
Bloody pest!
There's always one and this one's strange....

You weren’t unreasonable to say no. But I will usually offer an alternative as I think it’s good to help people who genuinely need it if they are elderly, lone parents, disabled etc

I had this when my neighbour moved in on her own, my husband being the soft get he is was going along with it, er nooo fuck off neighbour and pay someone to do your odd jobs or get your own fucking husband if you're not capable of of odd jobs. I kindly spelt this out to her😁to which she promptly did get her own, two in fact over the ten years she's been here, all good they have both been competent diyers it seems.
So no op yanbu to tell your neighbours to feck off, they'll forever take the piss if you don't.

Great idea to have the handyman number ready, these people make it hard to say no as you feel like you have to have an ‘excuse’! I am always getting caught out by CFs like that - there is good advice that ‘no that doesn’t really work for us’ is the best answer and don’t feel the need to say why because they can always work around it!

CF
A flat no should do the trick and every time she ask it’s a no. You don’t need to elaborate. Some people you have to be blunt with.

It's incredibly cheeky. It's not a five minute job and could easily take up half a weekend if it's not a straightforward build. I bet she doesn't even have the tools she needs.

She has a man coming in and out with her all day… I don’t know if he’s a brother or partner. I assume they need a third person.

I agree with an above poster. It’s a really good thing you said no as this was unlikely to be a one off - she’s clearly a CF. If it’s a shed on the first day, she’ll probably be expecting him to paint the lounge next week or lay new carpets. Best to stop it before she even gets started- firm no every time till she gets the hint.

Do you really think someone would ask you to decorate their house? I never thought that would be possible to be honest. I wondered if she was just panicking that she had done the wrong thing and ordered something that premade or they just needed the third person and they didn’t think about it. I’m definitely glad we said no! I think she was expecting us to change our plans 🤣

Next time she asks for your husband to help her, tell her he has enough to do in your own home. Suggest if she doesn’t have family to help, she will need to hire a handy man. Do this every time she asks.

Well if she's the kind of person to ask a total stranger to put up her shed, then she's the type of person who will ask someone she knows slightly better to paint her lounge! She might frame it as 'I need a hand' - and then leg it all day to leave him to do it alone.

CFs are going to CF. The only real response is 'no, sorry, can't' and if you're feeling kind, a copy of the local free paper that has phone numbers in of handymen.

Hard agree. The type of person to make this kind of huge request straight out of the gate is the type to make themselves the bane of your life from then on. People like this just aren't wired like the rest of us (ask me how I know). They see cooperation with their batshit requests as a green light. Best to erect very tall boundaries from the get-go.

Wow what a CF. That really was a “no because I don’t want to” moment wasn’t it! I’m not sure I’d want to build my own shed let alone someone else’s!

I would have thought it was too windy to put a shed up today.
If she asks again just give her a local handyman number and say we don’t do any diy thank you.

I would say 'sorry DIY is just not his thing. Would you like me to look on the local Facebook page for a local handyman'.

The best way to deal with checky requests is to laugh like it's all a brilliant joke

"Hahaha, that's a good one! I don't even build my own shed! Who has time to build a shed?! Nice to meet you" big smile. Cheery wave, close the door