Page 5 | New neighbour AIBU?

Foxyloxymoxy · 2025-10-04T08:31:33+00:00

Our new neighbour knocked on the door just a while ago asking if my Dh who they’ve never met would come in and help them erect their shed. I said that we have plans and we would be out for most of the day. To which she replied “I’d like to do it before it gets dark, we have lots to put in there so we can sort out the house”. To be honest, I didn’t know what to say to that. At this point my dh came to the door , she repeated the question and he hesitated (diy is not his forte!) and said pretty much what I had said. She asked, could he do it later and he replied not really because he has to pack because he’s going away tomorrow. She got a bit upset, said okay and walked off. Are we being unreasonable to have refused?

zingally · 04/10/2025 14:13

Fair enough if she just needed an extra pair of hands to hold a panel or something for 10 minutes, but that's not what she implied.
A whole shed? Fuck off. Get a handyman.

MikeRafone · 04/10/2025 14:17

Find a local tradesman that will do this type of job and if she returns - say oh just a minute, Ive found the telephone number of someone, go and get said number and give it to her. Saying its such a shame the chap that put our up isn't working any longer.

If she say, I don't want to pay, oh dear well we aren't paying for your shed to be erected - perhaps try other neighbours to see if they will pay

pinkyredrose · 04/10/2025 14:17

Happyjoe · 04/10/2025 13:29

My new neighbour moved in on my b'day and just as we were heading out the door for a pub lunch, neighbour asked partner to help her build a wardrobe. I said no, so sorry, heading out for a b'day lunch, my partner felt sorry for her and ended up doing it, I wasn't too pleased! It set a pattern, non stop favour asking.

Am all for helping people out and have helped neighbours many a time but with some people it's endless. Had one neighbour wake me up at midnight, drunk phone call, asking me to remove a spider for her! Get real and she complained to another neighbour about me later, quite nastily.

You're not being unreasonable, they are. One 'no, sorry' should be enough and they shouldn't have pushed it! I'd actually steer clear and not do any as they sound the sort to ask over and over.

Blimey, what a drip your partner was. You're not still with him are you?

ChocolateCinderToffee · 04/10/2025 14:18

I wouldn't spend MY time finding a tradesman for her. She can look on any of the tradespeople websites for someone, or put a post on the local Facebook page asking.

DwarfBeans · 04/10/2025 14:26

I’m always offering out my DP’s services to local single women just so I can have some peace and quiet. However, that is after I’ve got to know them and ascertained they’re not CFs.

She probably just needed someone to hold it while she screwed it in 😉

Viviennemary · 04/10/2025 14:36

What a cheek she has got. Of course you were right to refuse. Bad back is best excuse for this kind of thing.

lazyarse123 · 04/10/2025 14:39

Piglet89 · 04/10/2025 13:48

Christ. No good deed goes unpunished.

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Exactly. What makes me mad when I think about is she didn't have much so we tried to get her nice things if we had anything spare and we bought her a nice chrome kitchen bin and I realised afterwards I'd spent more on someone who was a cheeky cow than I did on us.
I really regret helping her and I don't like feeling that I won't want to help anyone else.

Endofyear · 04/10/2025 14:41

Wow that is proper cheeky! You were right to say no, if you'd said yes just this once, who knows what else she'd be asking for help with!

SmudgeButt · 04/10/2025 14:46

When we moved once we realised we couldn't find our can opener which was delaying us making some dinner after a too long day. I knocked next door and they were happy to lend me theirs.

But that's a world away from helping to build a shed!! Can your husband take 2 mintues to reach a highlight that needs the bulb replaced? Ok that's fine as a one off. But taking a couple of hours to help with DIY? No way!!

PurpleThistle7 · 04/10/2025 14:47

When we moved into our house we had a swingset delivered. We thought we’d manage on our own but there was one bit we just couldn’t get so we asked our neighbour for 5 minutes of his time at any time that suited him and were super, super grateful. We’ve since become friends and go round each other’s for bbqs and such so it did turn into a nice thing. Building a shed is a whole different ask and super cheeky!

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 04/10/2025 14:48

LOL what a cheeky cah! 😆

Reminds me of when a young couple moved into a house near us/opposite us several years ago, (in their mid-late 20s, both work full time,) and their garden was never looked after much. They mowed the lawn twice in 4 months and it was like a jungle.

His dad came around to visit (and his mum too - they live 300 miles away.) The dad shouted over to me 'hello' and I said hello back, (I was weeding the flower beds.) He started going on about the nice weather, then said 'feel free to come and do some weeding for Ellie and Liam, and run the mower over the lawn, they're no gardeners! haha...'

I was like 😐

Then he carried on chatting about something or other. I went into the house soon after and brought out a leaflet with 'Jim's Gardening Services' on it, and said 'he's meant to be quite good, and not too expensive..' (Coz like fuck was I doing their gardening!)

He said 'ooh, no, they're not paying anyone. They've got their own mower, and gardening tools...' I thought 'oh, so they won't pay. They want someone to do it for them for free. Cheeky twats.'

I'm 30 years older than them, (and so is DH) and we're even older than their parents, and the dad has the fucking cheek to say I can do their weeding and lawn mowing for them. Fucking jog on mate. I love my garden and enjoy doing gardening. But only MY garden - well, mine and DH's . It's a big garden - corner plot - and is fairly high maintenance. I love it but it's quite high maintenance,

Doing anyone else's would be a chore.

Some people are unbelievable! I don't know if the couple asked the dad to ask us, or if he just asked. But neither me OR DH has ever touched their garden, and they've never mentioned it since. Them or the parents.

wonkylegs · 04/10/2025 14:55

We have new neighbours & have been only to happy to help them but it’s us offering not an expectation. I wouldn’t even mind if they asked me for a favour as long as they didn’t mind if we decline.
So far for us it’s been offers of advice (local / house knowledge) from us and apologies for noise (workmen in) from them

Happyjoe · 04/10/2025 15:13

pinkyredrose · 04/10/2025 14:17

Blimey, what a drip your partner was. You're not still with him are you?

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Drip??? No, he is kind, sometimes too kind, but one of the reasons I like him.

AliceMcK · 04/10/2025 15:13

Foxyloxymoxy · 04/10/2025 10:02

Do you really think someone would ask you to decorate their house? I never thought that would be possible to be honest. I wondered if she was just panicking that she had done the wrong thing and ordered something that premade or they just needed the third person and they didn’t think about it. I’m definitely glad we said no! I think she was expecting us to change our plans 🤣

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yes they would! We had someone who lived on our street, we didn’t know them, the street was big, even my very social speaks to everyone Dad didn’t recognise them. Anyway we had a knock one night, they apparently heard my Dad was handy at painting and decorating, he’d helped out a couple of old ladies locally that he knew when they were struggling, this person asked my dad a man they never met to decorate almost their entire 3 up 3 down terrace for a free pint! My Dad who wasn’t one for declining a free pint declined 😂

Moveoverdarlin · 04/10/2025 15:19

If she asks again I’d say ‘Ha ha, you’ll be lucky, my husband doesn’t even do the jobs I ask him to. There’s about 25 things on my to-do list I need him to tackle before he starts helping people he’s never met. Best bet is to phone one of the local handymen that advertise. You should join the Facebook group ‘What’s going on in West Featheringham’ and there will be tons of people on there willing to help for a couple of hundred quid’.

Honestly the fucking cheek of it. How many blokes are just sat around on a weekend ready and willing to assemble a whole fucking shed for someone they don’t even know.

UnintentionalArcher · 04/10/2025 15:41

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 04/10/2025 14:48

LOL what a cheeky cah! 😆

Reminds me of when a young couple moved into a house near us/opposite us several years ago, (in their mid-late 20s, both work full time,) and their garden was never looked after much. They mowed the lawn twice in 4 months and it was like a jungle.

His dad came around to visit (and his mum too - they live 300 miles away.) The dad shouted over to me 'hello' and I said hello back, (I was weeding the flower beds.) He started going on about the nice weather, then said 'feel free to come and do some weeding for Ellie and Liam, and run the mower over the lawn, they're no gardeners! haha...'

I was like 😐

Then he carried on chatting about something or other. I went into the house soon after and brought out a leaflet with 'Jim's Gardening Services' on it, and said 'he's meant to be quite good, and not too expensive..' (Coz like fuck was I doing their gardening!)

He said 'ooh, no, they're not paying anyone. They've got their own mower, and gardening tools...' I thought 'oh, so they won't pay. They want someone to do it for them for free. Cheeky twats.'

I'm 30 years older than them, (and so is DH) and we're even older than their parents, and the dad has the fucking cheek to say I can do their weeding and lawn mowing for them. Fucking jog on mate. I love my garden and enjoy doing gardening. But only MY garden - well, mine and DH's . It's a big garden - corner plot - and is fairly high maintenance. I love it but it's quite high maintenance,

Doing anyone else's would be a chore.

Some people are unbelievable! I don't know if the couple asked the dad to ask us, or if he just asked. But neither me OR DH has ever touched their garden, and they've never mentioned it since. Them or the parents.

Was it possible he was joking?

redjeans28 · 04/10/2025 15:45

Clychaugog · 04/10/2025 11:27

Wow, there are some mean people on here. Very glad I live in a place where the community help each other with stuff like this.

It's nice to be nice. I'd have helped out.

Listen, just because you're a mug there's no need to project onto others who know how to use boundaries.

Gettingbysomehow · 04/10/2025 15:57

What gets me is she expected you to do it within her time frame.
I used to run a group totally free of charge, it took a lot of my time and energy.
Most people were respectful but this one woman wanted to join but she'd found out I was a podiatrist specialising in childrens biomechanics and wanted me to assess her daughter (no children allowed in this group) and make her some orthotics prior to the .meeting that night. For free of course.
I said sure that will be my usual fee of £150 payable up front.
She had an absolute epi, a friend and I were in stitches trying not to laugh on the phone. I was selfish and inconsiderate apparently and not worth shit. Needless to say she flounced and I never heard from her again. I'd not even met the woman.

MeAndTheDoggo · 04/10/2025 15:58

How intrusive! Blimey!

MidnightMusing5 · 04/10/2025 16:04

YANBU.

i find it odd that she asked. Was she elderly?

Original poster

Foxyloxymoxy · 04/10/2025 16:12

MidnightMusing5 · 04/10/2025 16:04

YANBU.

i find it odd that she asked. Was she elderly?

No probably mid 30’s

OP posts:

Rosscameasdoody · 04/10/2025 16:12

OP you need to get a handle on this situation. It has all the CF hallmarks and I would be keeping my distance in future. The neighbour clearly has boundary issues and I think after you’d declined to help and given your reasons, it’s incredibly rude of her to then repeat the request to your DH - hoping for a different response ?

CautiousLurker01 · 04/10/2025 16:35

Blimey. If she asks again be blunt - DH doesn’t do DIY at home or elsewhere. Recommend she pops onto the local FB page for your town and put a post asking for a DIY man.

There are loads on mine who will assemble your IKEA stuff or anything really for an hourly rate.

Happyjoe · 04/10/2025 16:35

Gettingbysomehow · 04/10/2025 15:57

What gets me is she expected you to do it within her time frame.
I used to run a group totally free of charge, it took a lot of my time and energy.
Most people were respectful but this one woman wanted to join but she'd found out I was a podiatrist specialising in childrens biomechanics and wanted me to assess her daughter (no children allowed in this group) and make her some orthotics prior to the .meeting that night. For free of course.
I said sure that will be my usual fee of £150 payable up front.
She had an absolute epi, a friend and I were in stitches trying not to laugh on the phone. I was selfish and inconsiderate apparently and not worth shit. Needless to say she flounced and I never heard from her again. I'd not even met the woman.

I had same with one of my neighbours, she found out used to be a photographer. She offered me her 6 grandchildren for portraits, literally like she was doing me a fav. So I told her my daily rate, plus print costs and she went off scowling. People have no clue!

MyDeftDuck · 04/10/2025 16:44

YANBU and you were right to refuse! Who in their right mind thinks a shed can be assembled in a short space of time? Nip this in the bud now otherwise your DH will forever be summoned to ‘fix this’, ‘assemble that’, ‘move stuff’…….and his time won’t be his own. I’ve had neighbours like this……..opened the door to frantic knocking only to find my neighbour holding a bag of dirty washing that she demanded I wash AND dry immediately as she wanted to wear the clothes later and was rushing off to the hairdresser! I wasn’t very polite in my response!