New neighbour AIBU?

[Foxyloxymoxy]

Our new neighbour knocked on the door just a while ago asking if my Dh who they’ve never met would come in and help them erect their shed. I said that we have plans and we would be out for most of the day. To which she replied “I’d like to do it before it gets dark, we have lots to put in there so we can sort out the house”. To be honest, I didn’t know what to say to that. At this point my dh came to the door , she repeated the question and he hesitated (diy is not his forte!) and said pretty much what I had said. She asked, could he do it later and he replied not really because he has to pack because he’s going away tomorrow. She got a bit upset, said okay and walked off. Are we being unreasonable to have refused?

I'd go over and start asking endless questions like what is a shed
How does this work?
What is wood? Really wind her up snd then take a phone call and not return..

You're not unreasonable at all to say no, or to be surprised by the request.
I don't think she's wrong to have asked though, although I will admit I wouldn't have the balls to do something like that myself.

I'd be fine with a simple "third hand" for a critical part of a job, such as could you hold that against the wall while I drill a hole, type of thing, but not for a day long job. Is she the full shilling or what?

You did the right thing saying it didn't suit you at the time. Simple help outs, fine. Full day DIY, not a flipping chance, I can't even do that for myself!

I get the feeling that she may not take cues and doesn't realise how cheeky she is. Take note.

I have put a shed once in my life, with husband, and it's a difficult horrible job that takes 2 people a full day. Needed a new shed at my allotment and I paid someone. The fact she could knock on a stranger's door and ask them to drop everything and give up their day for this is insane and show she has no normal boundaries.

In which case, assuming she hasn't anyone else to ask, it should have been more along the lines of:

I'm really sorry, but I wonder if either of you could help at some point when you've time. I ordered a shed, and I didn't realise it took two people to get it up. I'll provide drinks and a takeaway if you like.

I'd make sure you don't - because someone like that is going to keep asking and keep asking for everything if you do it for them once - and as your dh isn't good at diy, if it fell down, then I'm sure would be quick to complain.
I'd also feel a bit put out that it was a "dh" request, as I'm as good as he is on putting up things, unless it requires brute strength when he is stronger.

Tell her that she really doesn't want him helping; last time he put up some flat packed shelves it took him all day and they fell down during the night and woke you up with a dreadful start. Then give her the number of a local diy chap who will do it for money.

It’s pretty sexist of her to ask your husband over “do either of you have a spare day minute to help me with my shed?”

When she said she wants it done before dark you shouldve said "Well you better get a move on then hadn't you!"😂

No but seriously YANBU op

What an outlandish request!
You did right to say no - and I bet if you could have the conversation again you'd say, "Ha...we didn't even build our own shed. No can do."

A very cheeky 'ask'. Noted though. Bloody hell.

The next time she pops by with a request like this, I think you need to say "I think you're a bit confused. We're your neighbours, not the local handymen. You'll have to google someone."

You were not unreasonable at all, that is a big job, not a tiny quick thing!

That’s full cf-ery! The assumption that her life is more important than yours. Glad you and dh stuck to your guns, and didn’t change your plans.

Not unreasonable at all. How weird of her.

I've just moved house and 3 neighbours put cards through the door asking me to let them know if I needed anything - but even then, I wouldn't take that to mean 'come and build a shed for me - and not at a time of your convenince but right now, regardless of what you have planned.' That's way beynd a neighbour favour, it's a close friend/family favour - and even then you buy them a drink afterwards!

Wow - you’ve now got an entitled CF next door - have a list of suitable excuses ready for the next time - and don’t feel embarrassed or bad about telling her no. A yes will be thin edge of a wedge and you’ll never get rid of her!

Well at least she's shown who she is early doors. Forewarned is forearmed.

I can just imagine dh’s face if he was asked 😆 we wouldn’t put up our own shed, we’d pay someone as we know we are totally shit at this stuff. She’s so cheeky to think she can just find a random guy in the street to do stuff for her to the point we’d be laughing on and off for days if that happened to us. She’s going to be interesting.

This will be the thin end of a farkin massive wedge OP.

I live in the middle of nowhere but am getting too old for it and will have to move into a town at some point. It's stuff like this that makes me dread it :(

I do. I never used to until I joined mumsnet and my eyes were opened to the extreme CFery that goes on. Some people have no shame.

I do agree with another poster who said don’t just keep saying you’re busy because she might keep coming back. Make it clear you can’t do diy and won’t be doing it

That be a no! Putting a shed up is a big job. Very cheeky of them.

Jeez Louise, she’s a CF. Don’t ever say yes to anything in the future, OP - she’s the sort who, given an inch would take a mile. I’m sorry for you that she’s your new neighbour. Best avoided, I think.

YANBU - People can be so weird.

I think if she just needed an extra pair of hands, eg someone to hold the side steady while her partner did the work, that's one thing, but it sounded as though she wanted someone to help them set the whole thing up, which is ridiculous.

Yeah it really is, I mean it’s our whole Saturday. She was very assuming in her questioning which is what took me aback to how honest

Definitely don't start helping her with anything! It'll be never-ending! Honestly, who has a whole Saturday to give someone to put up a shed for free?!

Especially with no notice.

I'd have told the CF to fuck (right) off.