New neighbour AIBU?

[Foxyloxymoxy]

Our new neighbour knocked on the door just a while ago asking if my Dh who they’ve never met would come in and help them erect their shed. I said that we have plans and we would be out for most of the day. To which she replied “I’d like to do it before it gets dark, we have lots to put in there so we can sort out the house”. To be honest, I didn’t know what to say to that. At this point my dh came to the door , she repeated the question and he hesitated (diy is not his forte!) and said pretty much what I had said. She asked, could he do it later and he replied not really because he has to pack because he’s going away tomorrow. She got a bit upset, said okay and walked off. Are we being unreasonable to have refused?

Definitely not. As many posters on here are clarifying, the cheeky fuckery from some people is off the scale. I'm canny enough to know he was not joking.

Like many posters on here, I have done favours for people in the past - and so has my DH - and they take advantage, take the piss, and use you for their own convenience.

It's often tight fisted fuckers who don't want to fork out money for someone to do it.

You let yourself be used once, and you're toast. You will be their patsy. Been bitten too many times, and won't do fuck-all for anyone now. If that makes us hard so be it. Better that than being a gullible mug treated like shit by people who use you when they need you to do something for them, and never, I mean NEVER give anything back, or do anything for you.

We will help in an emergency of course, but if it's any normal everyday routine repairs and maintenance, and house and garden jobs, pay someone to do it or do it yourself. Like we do, and always have done. Don't take the piss out of people.

Update- she came back!!Dh not here so couldn’t talk to her himself! She asked if he could help for a few hours. I said no as he is busy, we have two dc and he’s leaving in the morning for the week. I asked her what needed doing exactly. She said they thought they could put up the shed easily but it was too hard and she needs to put it up. I said today was not a good day and he’s not here all week. He’ll be back Friday evening and if she really really needs help on Saturday morning next he might have a bit of time! To which she said…I need it up today next Saturday is too late. I then asked the question If her partner had a friend etc that could help. She said…and this was my favourite part…oh no I couldn’t bother them they are far too busy 😅

Wow @Foxyloxymoxy It sounds like you're going to actually have to be a bit rude. Next time just say (whilst half laughing,) 'look love he's not going to put your shed up for you. Ask someone else, my husband is not a servant for the neighbourhood. He hates DIY - even doing it for his own property, he won't be doing it for anyone else!'

@Foxyloxymoxy don't give her any help at all, either of you. You're going yo need rock solid boundaries with this one.

I said “oh that’s a shame, sorry about that, I have to go now. Sorry” I’m actually so confused at her thinking…

She was very cheeky.

Yeah, she's a piss taker, run, run for the hills!!

Ha! This is AMAZING. She's top value for CFery.

OP she will keep coming back and you need to be much firmer. "No that's not something we can help with, why don't you check on the local Facebook group and see if you can hire a handyman to help". And repeat.

DON'T offer his services!! What are you thinking?!

I would go mad if my partner offered MY time for free

“If all your family and friends are too busy to help, why do you think someone you do not know who also has a job and a family has the time”

Bloody hell. She sounds like a right pushy CF!

You need to be a lot clearer to her.

A few HOURS?!

OP she sounds very odd. It's like she believes he's already offered to do it. Is there any chance she has confused him with someone else on the street? Or is he the type to nod along not really listening if they had a chat in the driveway?

Yes I know I'm clutching at straws.

You sound very polite but seriously you need to be direct here. "We can't help. Good luck."

She sounds barmy. I'd tell her in no uncertain terms you aren't going to do this. Why does it have to be up so quickly? Ive had to be unspeakably rude to people before to get them off my back. I don't have time for this nonsense. Im single, 63 and I've never once asked anyone for help.
Im happy to help my 90 year old neighbour because she's always known what boundaries are.

I've known lone female neighbours - not ill or elderly - who viewed the entire street of male neighbours as their personal handymen. Each one expected them to mow her lawns, put up her kitchen cupboards, etc, all for free & immediately.

Ridiculous!!!!

OP I think you are being far too polite!

Absolutely!

I'd have a go at basic DIY but building a shed is not basic DIY in my opinion.

Sheds are bloody expensive, because you have to pay for the labour to put them together.

She tried to cheap out on it and has got herself stuck. Not your problem.

She asked. You said no. Neither of you were unreasonable. Do you really need to ask strangers if it’s ok to say no to people who ask a favour?

Except the woman appeared to come back and ask again despite being told no

Are you always so insufferable?

Oh, we so need either the laughing reaction emoji back or a "rolling eyes" one. 😆🙄These will have to do in a pinch. 😉

@Foxyloxymoxy How did you not start laughing when she said that? I would have been rolling!
At least you can now figure out just what kind of neighbor she'll be and react accordingly.

Just give her this https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/airtasker/id512137061