New neighbour AIBU?

[Foxyloxymoxy]

Our new neighbour knocked on the door just a while ago asking if my Dh who they’ve never met would come in and help them erect their shed. I said that we have plans and we would be out for most of the day. To which she replied “I’d like to do it before it gets dark, we have lots to put in there so we can sort out the house”. To be honest, I didn’t know what to say to that. At this point my dh came to the door , she repeated the question and he hesitated (diy is not his forte!) and said pretty much what I had said. She asked, could he do it later and he replied not really because he has to pack because he’s going away tomorrow. She got a bit upset, said okay and walked off. Are we being unreasonable to have refused?

Tell her you rent his DIY skills out at £150/hour and a shed would be min 3 days.

I think you dealt with her really well. But you do know that we are now all fascinated by her level of batshittery and what she’ll do next, so please please please keep us updated with any future encounters or requests!

Bloody hell! Our shed took 2 professionals a day to build after a day laying the foundations. It's a completely unreasonable ask of a stranger with no notice - I'm gobsmacked!

Bl**dy CF.
We used to have a friend with a much older husband and we'd help them out if we could because he was such a lovely man and not very strong. Once we had a similar situation to yours and asked if one of their three AC could help them out? She said no, their lives were much too busy.

At the time we had four children at home and both did very full time jobs, DH was often away for weeks at a time for work and their DC didn't have any children. We were never able to help them again I'm afraid.

YANBU cheeky twats it needed nipping in the bud that did , keep your distance smile say hello n no more

Bloody heck, she definitely is a CF!

Start as you mean to go on OP, as she will carry on.

Cheeky cunt! 🤣

Honestly, people! You were right to say no from the outset. When we moved in our next door neighbour offered us tea and later beer. Friends for live now. Other side, different story. She has made it so difficult for us. Very very strange family, the whole street has ended up disliking them. She once complained I was harassing her at work as I text to apologise I’d knocked over her plant pot which she had put up as a means to block us opening car doors near her border (I didn’t break it but spilled and tidied up the soil!)
she didn’t speak to me for 3 years then randomly text asking if I’d come and vacuum up a spider. Had to bring my own vacuum. I replied marry who is this?’ And we went back to radio silence.

Honestly, people! You were right to say no from the outset. When we moved in our next door neighbour offered us tea and later beer. Friends for life now. Other side, different story. She has made life so difficult for us. Very very strange family, the whole street has ended up disliking them. She once complained I was harassing her at work as I text to apologise I’d knocked over her plant pot which she had put up as a means to block us opening car doors near her border (I didn’t break it but spilled and tidied up the soil and said I’d replace soil at earliest convenience)
After that, she didn’t speak to me for 3 years then randomly text asking if I’d come and vacuum up a spider. Had to bring my own vacuum. I replied sorry who is this?’ And we went back to radio silence.

I'm on my own and would never ask neighbours for help with something I can't do. And I know mine better then you've known her! Don't set a precedence.

If family or friends can't help, I have to get professionals.

No, why would it be your responsibility to put her shed up? sounds like a single woman who has got used to asking men for help, and they usually do- entitled and unreasonable, don't give it another thought.

I think it's unreasonable of some posters to tar all lone women with the same brush saying we're like your neighbour! I and the vast majority of other lone women, and I know very many, are more than capable of not relying on others' goodwill and would never ask a neighbour. Or to feel entitled or unreasonable and feel men should help.

I had to chuckle to myself when my (married) neighbours moved in we were chatting about gardens and she was telling me all about her flowers and what she likes to do in the garden. I commented 'sounds like you love gardening then' as just a polite remark, she answered oh, oh, not too much, my hips not too good these days. And changed the subject.

Then I realised, and giggled to myself, she must have thought I was going to ask her if she'd like to do some gardening in my garden. Not on your Nellie love, I thought. I'm more than capable!

She sounds pretty demanding of others and what she expects. She hadn’t bothered to consider if your DH was busy because she probably didn’t concern herself as to how others feel… so good job your DH has gone away. I would put money on it happening again though!

Cheeky fucker alert !!!
How entitled is she ,!!!
Next time she asks for something you know what to say don't you..
" I'm afraid not... We're far too busy "

You’re being a bit of a wet blanket offering up his services at all! Just say you’ve got your own busy lives to lead and can’t help.

if you want to appear to be helpful offer to ask around for a recommendation for a handyman.

Good thing both of you declined, imagine if your dh said yes… she would be round every week asking for favours!

Can you tell your husband that my bathroom needs retilling? I'd like to have it done by the end of the month.

You are absolutely right to nip this in the bud. She ignored your response but fortunately you and DH are on the same page. Just say no with no explanation otherwise she will come up with a solution.

Their shed isn't your responsibility. I'd be shocked at the brass neck of her asking and then saying we want it doing before dark! Who does she think she is? This neighbour seems entitled and i would do my best to avoid her going forward! You should have said your husband has a bad back and can't help sorry! If she calls around again just don't answer the door and hopefully she will get the message. People like her are nothing but trouble, save yourself the hassle in the long run and avoid like the plague!

Their shed isn't your responsibility. I'd be shocked at the brass neck of her asking and then saying we want it doing before dark! Who does she think she is? This neighbour seems entitled and i would do my best to avoid her going forward! You should have said your husband has a bad back and can't help sorry! If she calls around again just don't answer the door and hopefully she will get the message. People like her are nothing but trouble, save yourself the hassle in the long run and avoid like the plague!

Same here. I think if she’d knocked on the door and said ‘I’m so embarrassed to ask, but we need to get the shed up to get some stuff out of the way and hadn’t really appreciated that it needed three people to get the first part together - would you be able to give us a hand for 20 minutes? It looks like once the first three panels are attached together, we’ll be able to do the rest ourselves.’ (or something along those lines…) I’d probably have been inclined to help out, to be neighbourly. But anyone who just asks you to ‘help put the shed up’ as if that’s a completely normal thing for someone you’ve never met to be prepared to do and then be put out that you were busy, is definitely going to be a taker not a give-and-taker!

The cheek of some people, never fails to astonish me. I would be tempted to go round there next weekend and ask her to ask her husband to do so equally outrageous task. Help paint a fence as its getting dark and rain is forecast in the next couple of days. Meanwhile could she help you out baking cakes or making fancy dress costumes as you completely forgot and school need them by Monday morning.

Do not give her an inch or you know the saying. I have a neighbour that used to think it acceptable to go through our back gate and knock on the kitchen window. Moving the gate and putting a lock on it, put a stop to that.

Remember the good old MN saying No is a complete sentence. If you have neighbours on the other side do you know if she has approached them.

The older I get the madder I think some people are. What kind of reality does she live in where that is normal. Be tough OP she will eventually get the message. I totally get how stressful it is though, I felt my privacy was being invaded and it took a friend to point out it 100% was and I wasn't being mean locking her out of our back garden.

Rude arse, ignore the neighbour if I were you.

Lucky you. I have so many tales of appalling neighbours it would make your hair stand on end. One set, after a brief initial introduction, asked us to drive them to the airport at 6am on a Sunday morning so they could save money on a taxi. Another set in our next house built their septic tank on our land then refused to move it. The new people who moved into their property when they sold up decided, while we were away, to break into our garden and reroute their guttering into our downpipe so all their rainwater could drain onto our lawn. They also refused to do anything about it. Another neighbour a few doors down in our first home actually burgled us a week after they offered to help when I accidentally locked myself out of the house - the police knew it was them, but didn't have enough proof to arrest and convict.

I wish I were making all this up.

OMG..you have been mega unlucky..
Hoe things are better for you now