New neighbour AIBU?

[Foxyloxymoxy]

Our new neighbour knocked on the door just a while ago asking if my Dh who they’ve never met would come in and help them erect their shed. I said that we have plans and we would be out for most of the day. To which she replied “I’d like to do it before it gets dark, we have lots to put in there so we can sort out the house”. To be honest, I didn’t know what to say to that. At this point my dh came to the door , she repeated the question and he hesitated (diy is not his forte!) and said pretty much what I had said. She asked, could he do it later and he replied not really because he has to pack because he’s going away tomorrow. She got a bit upset, said okay and walked off. Are we being unreasonable to have refused?

Shocking! Some people baffle me 🤣
If she does ask again give her the name and number of a local handyman.

A complete stranger asking for a big task like this is so weird. And the fact that she pushed it when you said no - saying he could come later - is a big red flag. You did the right thing. There will be more requests. Avoid!

Cheeky buggers! But I do disagree with saying ‘That doesn’t work for us’ - it’s IMO a daft expression only ever seen on MN.

A simple, ‘Sorry, we can’t,’ is enough - plus details of a local handyman, if you can find one.

Do you think she just wanted a 3rd pair of hands to hold the sides up, while they put it together? Mind you she may have expected time to put it together with her husband! Bit difficult to gauge exactly what she meant.

Local fb group.

I'd have asked how much they would pay me

Urgh I hate that.. I pay people to do jobs like that so pisses me off when people ask me to “help” NO! I hate DIY I pay people to do my own why would I want to help lol

Indulge this and you will not get a moment's peace in future.

I think you need to stamp this out straight away. If her first request is "build my shed" what on earth is she going to escalate it to in the future?!

"Hi, can you quickly build an extension? It won't take you long, cheers!"

I think this is beyond CF-ery.

She sounds mentally ill.

By which I mean it's SO far outside the bounds of normal to expect a stranger to spend a day putting up your shed that she's beyond the typical CF range and into actually unwell.

Is she elderly? Or from abroad where maybe neighbourly norms are different?

My new neighbour moved in on my b'day and just as we were heading out the door for a pub lunch, neighbour asked partner to help her build a wardrobe. I said no, so sorry, heading out for a b'day lunch, my partner felt sorry for her and ended up doing it, I wasn't too pleased! It set a pattern, non stop favour asking.

Am all for helping people out and have helped neighbours many a time but with some people it's endless. Had one neighbour wake me up at midnight, drunk phone call, asking me to remove a spider for her! Get real and she complained to another neighbour about me later, quite nastily.

You're not being unreasonable, they are. One 'no, sorry' should be enough and they shouldn't have pushed it! I'd actually steer clear and not do any as they sound the sort to ask over and over.

Give cheeky fuckers an inch.....

Blimey that's hilarious!!!!!

It's just a slippery slope before she asks your husband to help with other "erection problems" she might face.

You were right to say no. There is a huge difference between a few teabags and a major project - if this CF's starting point was sheds, what would she have been demanding next? A full redecorating job? I'd have pointed her in the direction of Checkatrade (I've found them very useful) and left it at that. And like you OP, we always make sure that installation/putting something together is included in the purchase price. As young people, we were hopelessly inept at anything that went further than painting a wall or putting up a shelf; now we're in our sixties, our strongest DIY skills are for sniffing out codswallop about easy construction in product descriptions and finding our way round Which? Magazine.

She asked.

You refused.

It's not cheeky or rude to either ask or to refuse.

If your husband had been free for a couple of hours, it could have been a nice opportunity to meet the new neighbour and get off to a kind, neighbourly start.

I don't understand why anyone is getting irate about this. I don't think it's a great way to live to assume everyone else is trying to get one over on you.

Good grief 😱

Very sensible to have set a clear, firm boundary from the beginning. Will make life a lot easier going forward.

Christ. No good deed goes unpunished.

It might be she comes from a community (area) or ethnic where helping out is the norm. We have one neighbour who is embarrassingly helpful, anything you need any time, one neighbour takes huge advantage gets him cutting his grass pruning his shrubs and goodness knows what else, and laughs about it behind his back.

I would have laughed in her face and said absolutely not...we don't even know you.
What a CF.

Yes I agree with this. I am laughing to myself. If anyone asked my DH to do any sort of DIY they would live to regret it. I do most of it in our house as my DH is useless at it. I recently went out for the day and came back to find my DH had attached the new bracket to the back of the TV stand. Very good saves me doing it I thought. It was literally just attached by a few screws. It had taken him SIX hours he proudly informed me😂. Your neighbour would have been waiting ten years at least for her shed to be built by my DH OP.

Changed a few minor details so not outing: friend of mine was having their dinner when neighbour knocked and asked if friend's DH could come and sort out a shelf that needed putting up. It was an odd request but a quick job and neighbour looked a bit distressed so friends DH grabs his drill and goes round.

Gets there and neighbour's DH is sat at the table eating with their kids, neighbour sits down with them while friend's flabbergasted DH gets the shelf sorted while making awkward small talk with all of them. It's not on erect a shed a level but was really bizarre.

CF!

We had similar CF’ery when we bought a previous house. The lady we bought from insisted that some of the garden plants were excluded from the sale. We agreed to get the sale completed but said she must remove them by completion day - she agreed.
Completion day arrived, we moved in, and the plants were still there. She then said she would like to leave them there for 3 months as she was going away for the summer (we moved in May). We said no - you take them today or not at all.
she then arrived at 8.30pm - with a spade and a roll of bin bags and told my husband that she had a bad back and he would have to dig them out for her. He did dig them out to get rid of her. I was putting our DD to bed at the time and was really irritated when I found out what she had done but at least we didn’t have to see her again.
Fast forward to Xmas and we discovered from our ‘new neighbours’ that she had told them all how unreasonable we were and not at all neighbourly!

Don’t feel obliged. She’s extremely cheeky. Say no without saying the word no. “I’m sorry, that’s not something we could do right now, I’m sure there are some great tradespeople locally who could help”
Who even asks that of someone they barely know?!!! She’s unbelievably rude and entitled.

I’m not sure, she didn’t delve into what she needed. We were literally corralling the kids around to leave the house.