To ask DH to tell FIL to stop using our loo if he can’t clean up after himself?

[Septemberending]

We host my in-laws at least once a month for Sunday lunch and they pop round at various other points in the month.

Almost without fail, FIL will use the loo and it will be left in a disgusting state after - stinking as he hasn’t sprayed, water over the floor from where he hasn’t dried his hands properly and items such as the soap put back in the wrong place.

DH knows this greatly annoys me but won’t say anything - ‘oh, he’s stuck in his ways’ or ‘it’s only once a month’.

I’ve had enough quite frankly, and feel like it’s getting to ultimatum time.

Put a scented (or even unscented) candle in the loo and light it before they come over.

As in it be making his smells extra whiffy

Agreed.

I am easily grossed out so I do have sympathy but some water on the floor from hand washing and a smell that will pass is not the height of disgusting and being left in a state. At least he is using hand wash. If there was urine about the place and the toilet being left unclean I could see your point but this is mild and very easily sorted out

My grandparents had air freshener spray in their toilets and would be well over a hundred if they were still alive.
I am amazed someone as prissy as the OP has a loo with no window, gross!
I burn a candle in my bathroom when I know we are having guests

What a totally misleading thread title. Nothing about this sounds unclean? The floor is wet - from water that came from the tap… just needs to be dried. I’m not sure how soap being in the wrong place or using air freshener relates to hygiene either…

"He's a big chap so the smell is genuinely repulsive"
Jeez I've heard it all now. Big people and small people's shit smells the same. If his shit stinks it's more related to the state of his gut than his size. This comment does not make you come across at all well.

This. Up to him whether he has a word or just gets stuck in. Fair enough.

Striking a match really does work a lot better than sprays in my opinion too.

Anyway, what is described in the Op as disgusting really is not. It is just normal toilet use.

Septemberending
There’s no window in that particular bathroom. We do have another downstairs one, but it’s generally not for guests and I wouldn’t dare let him loose in there.
Switch bathrooms- if the one without a window is the one only you use you’ll never have the smell problem again

Gets ‘stuck in’ to what?

My SIL has a tasteful candle on the go in her bathroom when she has guests.

@Notonthestairs

gets stuck in and … cleans the loo.

sorry, can’t think what else it could possibly have meant but there we go.

Have you ever asked him to use the spray? Lots of people don't bother with them (probably because they make the area smell worse and are full of chemicals).

A bit of water on the floor and soap in the wrong place wouldn't particularly bother me... I thought you were going to say he left poo in the toilet bowl or peed on the seat. Honestly, this isn't worth upsetting a guest over. Especially when that guest is your partner's parent.

Come on people...

Don't feed the FIL:

• unashamed fat shaming
• another bathroom downstairs with adequate ventilation that CAN'T be used
• pearl clutching to the nth degree

This is not the hill you want to die on.

It’s not because it then smells like flowered covered shit and lingers. It’s also toxic and awful for you.

He would be forgiven for starting a daughter-in-law horror thread!

Most bathrooms/toilets are designed so that they can tolerate splashes of water from the taps, shower, bath, people...I don't know....moving their wet hands from the sink to the towel! If it's drips from his washed hands it is not unhygienic.
Putting the soap in the wrong place is also not unhygienic.

Doing a poo in a toilet is not unhygienic.

Have some respect for him. He is family and a guest in your home and him using your bathroom leads you to insult him and call him unhygienic.

Why? Are you even less tolerant of splashes of water and misplaced soap in the 'not to be used' toilet?

He doesn’t need to clean the loo.

The Op complained about the soap being turned the wrong way, drips of water on the floor and a bad smell.

Light a match. No ‘getting stuck in’ required.

If there is no visible poo anywhere, it's fine.

Air freshener is a class thing ... many would rather smell poo.

Like PP, we have a box of matches in the loo. Light a match, blow it out, smell is gone.

We dont have a spray thing, maybe he's not familiar with it, like others say, light a candle and chill

If the smell bothers you you could put one of those cleaning tablets in the cistern when he visits. A little water on the floor and soap moved is nothing. Perhaps you just don’t like or welcome him.

And yes water all over the floor and misplaced soaps would annoy me. Why would you do that if you’re a guest in someone’s house?!