DH and Business Class Flights

[Setthemup]

We live in Oz, we fly home pretty often as a family - every 12-18 months and my parents visit every 12-18 too. So it's never too long between visits, DH's family don't travel any more, due to health and cost. DH wants to go home to the UK for a family milestone, from a completely selfish pov - I want him to go alone. I saw everyone last year, will be seeing my parents in a couple of months for Christmas, so don't feel the urgency to go home atm. (especially in Feb when it's bleak). I have very little leave as I've just started a new job. Business Class flights are roughly $8k each, and I would prefer to spend the money elsewhere, we have loads to do around the house and a trip home is not a holiday. I have absolutely no problem DH going alone and flying BC - it's a long trek and gets harder as you get older, he could go for a month and spend time with his family and not feel pulled between 2 places. Now that I'm not keen to go DH has suggested using the money saved by me not coming to take DSS 18, which IMO defeats the object of saving the money to do some bits around the house, I have 0 problem helping DSS with his flight or paying for him to fly economy. But I don't think it's right for him to take him back business class, when we really can't afford it! AIBU?

@Calliopespa ,

‘I'm not sure the Montblanc analogy is as accurate as going out for a family meal and making the teens skip a starter.’

No, because with a family meal, the meal is the activity. On a holiday (especially a long one), the flight is merely a way of accessing the activity-the holiday itself.

A better analogy would be a family meeting for a meal in town and, as the parents travelled by a nice Mercedes, booking a luxury taxi for the teen to join them, as otherwise it would be unfair.

Lost count of how many times you said he’s an adult, like turning 18 makes a difference. If 9t is genuinely your money as you’re hinting at, you put most in, and same for other joint expenses then sure you get to do this, say no, but you tell him it’s you who said no as it’s your money, don’t make his dad take the blame.

if however overall expenses are a lot more shared than the 80/20 you’re stating, then I don’t think you get to dictate and I’m not sure I actually beleive if it was your own child flying solo with you you’d put them in economy whilst you sat alone in business.

Well I think in that analogy its more like driving in the Mercedes and not letting the teen travel in the same car.

It might all be different if it was the op making the decision regarding her own DS, but it's her DH. I just don't think its worth the aggro if they can afford it. Blended families have enough to tiptoe round as it is.

@Calliopespa ,

‘It might all be different if it was the op making the decision regarding her own DS, but it's her DH. I just don't think it’s worth the aggro if they can afford it. Blended families have enough to tiptoe round as it is.’

But they can’t ’afford’ it in the sense I would use. Virtually anyone with savings can afford business class in the literal sense of being able to pay at that moment.

But, for most of them, there are better choices for that amount of money. For me, everyone goes business if it has no effect on the rest of their plans. If it does, it is appalling value for money.

Of course , you could try talking to the young adult and asking them how much they care. Most young people would find a long haul holiday exciting enough and wouldn’t be in the least bit bothered where they sat in the plane.

I didn’t fly business until I was in my mid twenties, when I was going away on business. And I would wager that’s true of most on here. They are applying middle aged values to a teenager!

Personally, BC is if you have money to throw around OR if needs must. For an older adult, needs maybe must. For a uni students, needs absolutely do not must. And you don’t have money to throw around.

Equally, it would be awful for the two of them to sit in different classes. So, either DH sucks it up in economy bulkhead, or you get uni students ok on the basis it’s fully paid for.

How is he able to take a month off anyway? Would he be coming back earlier than DH? Maybe he can go BC and come back economy if traveling alone.

The issue here, though, is that op's DH seems to feel they can afford it. Affording is always a value judgment based on how much people value something. That's the stumbling block in this situation.

@Macaroni46

the big difference is that Op would have earned the privilege of Business class. Children need something to aim for! If everything single thing is handed to them on a plate , where is their drive, motivation, ambition, etc going to come from? The need to see that working hard = ability to buy nice things for oneself.

This!

An 18 yo won’t be anything like as uncomfortable as an older adult in the back of the plane. Also presumably it’s the choice he’s offered - son, you can come but I’m afraid we can’t stump up for BC for you?!