DH and Business Class Flights

[Setthemup]

We live in Oz, we fly home pretty often as a family - every 12-18 months and my parents visit every 12-18 too. So it's never too long between visits, DH's family don't travel any more, due to health and cost. DH wants to go home to the UK for a family milestone, from a completely selfish pov - I want him to go alone. I saw everyone last year, will be seeing my parents in a couple of months for Christmas, so don't feel the urgency to go home atm. (especially in Feb when it's bleak). I have very little leave as I've just started a new job. Business Class flights are roughly $8k each, and I would prefer to spend the money elsewhere, we have loads to do around the house and a trip home is not a holiday. I have absolutely no problem DH going alone and flying BC - it's a long trek and gets harder as you get older, he could go for a month and spend time with his family and not feel pulled between 2 places. Now that I'm not keen to go DH has suggested using the money saved by me not coming to take DSS 18, which IMO defeats the object of saving the money to do some bits around the house, I have 0 problem helping DSS with his flight or paying for him to fly economy. But I don't think it's right for him to take him back business class, when we really can't afford it! AIBU?

What exactly are the house bits and pieces? If you are talking the house needing urgent repairs then neither of them should be flying unless you can afford both flights and repairs. If you just fancy replacing a worn carpet or a fresh coat of paint then they should both go and if DH needs to fly business class they should both go business class. This is one of those cases where you need to think about what you would want if the situation was reversed and it was your trip back and your 18 year old child. DH in business and putting DSS in economy is likely to cause long term family stress.

I think that people who can afford it comfortably have very different ideas than those who can’t, and it is either flying business or doing a project or adding to vital savings.

There is nothing mean about putting an older child or young adult in economy. Their experience is very different to a middle aged person’s. Most can either sleep or shrug off the lack of sleep and don’t have bad backs or risk DVT.

Their luxury is being young!

Both should either travel economy or the stepson should fly at the back.

So to recap: Your DH deserves business class. You deserve business class. But your 'D'SS deserves economy.

Nice attitude.

Have you looked into going via Asia and using a low cost airline like Scoot to Asia and then Norse Atlantic to the UK?

So if you were going the DSS wouldn't go at all/he wasn't planning to go?
Sounds like offering him an economy ticket would be good compromise.

I would compromise and fly something like Etihad where you can buy extra legroom and bid for neighbour free seats for a fraction of the business class cost.

Both need to travel together in the same class. Either you can afford BC or you can’t. Simple.

Get them to fly economy, in the first row (bulkhead). Those seats are absolutely golden with tons of leg room (my 6ft3 husband can stretch his legs out fully). These seats are £100 max ($200 Aus dollars). If they want extra's like fast track security, or airport lounge, those can be bought very cheaply. Fast track is about £7 and airport lounge maybe £50. Bearing in mind they will be asleep for half the journey, this would be a good compromise.

Surely if the issue is budget, it’s simple.

You have 8k to spend on flights, that can be 1. Business class flight or 2. Economy flights.

The other 8k is being spent on doing XYZ to the house, so your DH can take DSS back, but within the flight budget (which means both of them flying economy).

As per usual, if it was your own child, this post would not have been created, as it wouldn’t have been a problem to spend that extra £4k on your own DC. Excuses of needing that money elsewhere is just that- an excuse.

I would have no problem shoving an adult dc in economy, if the starting position had been them not going at all.

Dad is flying BC because a) he's paying & b) he needs the additional comfort because he's older.

Ds can fly economy because someone else is paying!

& yes they can swap seats for a couple of hours if Dad wants to treat his ds to a taste of the posh seats.

I would agree it's different for:

• kids too young to fly unsupervised
• if it were a vital trip & the kids HAD to attend

but for a young adult who doesn't actually need to go but is coming along for the ride, fair enough.

I might bung him a few hundred spending money & say it was his sweetener for sucking it up in EC (my young adult dc would be very happy with this).

We pay for extra legroom in economy, as DH is over 6 feet. We did a long haul flight last week, so it’s fresh in my mind. It was Emirates and the inflight entertainment was very good.

If you want business class, but can’t afford it, why not do that?

Most airlines won’t let you swap seats

If DSS is in uni term surely he shouldn't be going anyway?

Why not just ask him - hey we can afford to pay for your ticket to the UK, it'll just be economy though, do you want to come?

They both go business class or they both go economy.

I don’t see why they can’t fly DSS economy while dad goes BC. DSS is 18 - a young man. I bet he wouldn’t mind travelling in economy. It is a bad habit for him to get used to bc as when he starts working and paying for himself. he might only be able to afford economy. Many older people prefer BC for health reasons - especially on such a long flight.

By the way, my mind is boggled that some people seem not to think twice about flying bc. I have only ever done this when work is paying for it.

Well if it's good enough for Gordon Ramseys kids? He IS 18, not 5.

I don't have any qualms about shoving my dd and her bf in economy when we go away together, usually we are with them but for longer flights we might be in Premium Economy or Business. I would never have expected anything other than economy when my parents were paying!

The other alternative would be they both fly premium I guess. I actually prefer Premium to Biz on some airlines as I sleep on my side and the lie flat seats don't really do it for me, I never recline them fully but sleep in a zero gravity position

Once you fly business (long haul), you can’t go back…

But I will go against the grain and say his son can fly economy. Long flights are much easier at that age, and it sets an expectation - IMO!

Thanks all
We can afford it it’s just how I would prefer to spend the funds.
DSS isn’t being made to feel like a 2nd class citizen, he currently drives an entry level VW (we pay for) versus our cars….should we give him the Range Rover?
He is being offered a fully paid flight + expenses to the UK as an ADULT
Yes I see DH’s family - we split our time last year.
If was my own DC I’d do the same (which happened to me as a young adult)

I completely agree. When I was that age my DM and her partner would occasionally fly business class and I would be in economy. I wasn’t upset in the slightest. Business class is a massive luxury I would never have expected it, in fact I was grateful they were paying for my economy flights as a young adult!

Both should be flying economy. It's a long flight, yes, but you can recover over a couple of days.

By the sound of it you are primarily not going because you don’t want to go. Saving the money is a nice bonus. I’d let him treat his son if he wants to.

I'm curious whether the posters who are saying "same class, end of" actually have the experience with long hauls and juggling costs of visiting family at great distance.

The OP& her DH were using economy for years, they don't see it as beneath them.
They just got a bit older and need the upgrade to survive the trip in good conditions.
DSS is supposedly a healthy adult.
It's more important for him to get the mobility (getting the ticket funded when relevant) than getting the luxury (going BC this one time).

It's different going BC because you are loaded and accepting the practical necessity, but being well aware of the costs