DH and Business Class Flights

[Setthemup]

We live in Oz, we fly home pretty often as a family - every 12-18 months and my parents visit every 12-18 too. So it's never too long between visits, DH's family don't travel any more, due to health and cost. DH wants to go home to the UK for a family milestone, from a completely selfish pov - I want him to go alone. I saw everyone last year, will be seeing my parents in a couple of months for Christmas, so don't feel the urgency to go home atm. (especially in Feb when it's bleak). I have very little leave as I've just started a new job. Business Class flights are roughly $8k each, and I would prefer to spend the money elsewhere, we have loads to do around the house and a trip home is not a holiday. I have absolutely no problem DH going alone and flying BC - it's a long trek and gets harder as you get older, he could go for a month and spend time with his family and not feel pulled between 2 places. Now that I'm not keen to go DH has suggested using the money saved by me not coming to take DSS 18, which IMO defeats the object of saving the money to do some bits around the house, I have 0 problem helping DSS with his flight or paying for him to fly economy. But I don't think it's right for him to take him back business class, when we really can't afford it! AIBU?

Bit of a drip feed. And it still depends on what his commitments are and if they benefit you.

I have done both. NEVER flying long haul economy again.

@Setthemup

“DSS isn’t being made to feel like a 2nd class citizen, he currently drives an entry level VW (we pay for) versus our cars….should we give him the Range Rover?“

yes Op, you should swap with him. Kids come first. He didn’t ask to be born. Just hand it over to him already. Times are hard for young people these days.

I understand that you feel the need to do the house up in some way and the money better spent in that way but id say that expieriences are worth thier weight in gold vs physical things. If you weren't going with your husband and you wanted to take his child with and you usually do fly buisness class it feels like you aren't being fair towards the child as you would have flown buisness class with him had you both flown together. So yes it does defeat the purpose of you not going but your husband may not be seeing it that way. Does he feel like the house improvements are as important to him than to you ?

Sorry don’t understand the question. Why what?

You realise she most likely is also paying all the dss uni fees as well? They are minimum $20,000 a TERM in Australia! The waste of a space of a husband is paying for what 🤷‍♀️ snacks??!!! While his wife pays for EVERYTHING! Why should she pay $16,000++++ because there will be other expenses in the trip like food and shopping and outings and he clearly has other things he pays for instead of being an adult and paying for his own child!

you need to put your own $$$ in your own savings account!! He needs to learn how to live within his own means

If its "worth it" for DH to fly bc why isn't it "worth it" for his son?

Whichever way you argue it the logic applies to both, either its okay for both to go BC or ok for both to go economy.

No it doesn’t. It’s worth it to me to fly long haul in business because a. I’ve earned it, b. the state of my back means I’d be crippled for days and c. I prefer to circumnavigate the jet lag as much as possible. At 18, I couldn’t have given a flying fuck where I sat if someone was offering to pay for me to go on an international jolly, I’d probably have slept the whole way even getting elbowed and with kids wailing, and it certainly wouldn’t have entered my parent’s mind to spend thousands in case I’d be hurt they didn’t think I was “worth” it. LOL

OP, he sounds like a good kid - presumably your DH can say to him, sorry mate, we can’t really afford for you to be upgraded this time, especially because we didn’t factor it in initially, would still love you to come but you’ll have to be in economy? There’s not too many 18yo out there who wouldn’t get this surely?

Other PPs insisting both must sit together is fucking nonsense. You and your DH have made the adjustments in order to afford business class (there is no way I could fly to Oz and back in economy anymore, I just wouldn’t go if I couldn’t), and no doubt he’ll crash out the minute the cabin goes dark anyway

I think bus class is a luxury and when you are young and parents are paying then economy is fine

The actress Kate Hudson and her siblings turned right on the airplane on family travel , whilst Goldie and Kurt went in first class.

Funny how even a child of privilege got it drummed into their noggin that anything above Economy Class was something that was EARNED and not an entitlement.
In the meantime, flying with hoi polloi was not to be treated as anathema and anything above was regarded as something that is earned or something sacrificed for.
But never an expectation on the coin of family or laypeople.
Nothing wrong with a child ( child age or adult) being shown that there is a demarcation between responsibility and reward between the roles of parent and child.

And only a very warped adult is going to feel bitter because they wereade to turn right on flights that they never earned or paid for when younger.

Remember; ordinary people have also deal with young adults who lack perspective, due to their upbringing of never being shown that a child's place is a child's place.

'Bout " they never asked to be born" as if flying economy is the last rites.

Why don’t they both fly premium economy? This is what I would do with an adult child. This way it’s a bit more legroom but more affordable and each has the other to chat to. It’s a long time to sit on your own if a family member is on the same flight!

Sixteen grand on flights - are you insane ???

FACTS!! 👏

Yep, id have real concerns taking umbrage to having their flights to Australia being paid for by their parents but not getting to sit in business class with their parent. I’d really worry about their level of entitlement.

we all need to know - You have to work hard to pay for nice things. End of.

@DontReinMeIn

she’s funding his long haul flights to Australia. How the fuck does she sound selfish? Really?

Why is both being in the same class more important than DH's health?

When there are young children, it is different, but the guy is an adult.

Not sure what DH’s health you are referring to - the Op mentioned DH is getting older not that he’s ill - maybe I missed it.

My kids are my kids regardless if they are adults or not so I wouldn’t travel with them on the same plane in a different class. That’s how I see it and how I would handle it. Maybe because that’s how my in laws have always treated their children - even though they are all grown adults.

If I was the DH I’d want to fly BC and I’d want to fly sitting next to my DS. It will be good fun for them.

OP has said PE is nearly as expensive as Business so it’s a no go. As for the ‘chats’ and ‘company’, I don’t think you appreciate how teenagers and international flights go. They will eat, they will play some video games/watch something and then they will sleep like they’re at the Four fecking Seasons as you enviously look on (even from your business class seat) 🤣

My aunt got into this argument a few years ago with her 3 kids when they travelled from
Aus as young adults. They got excited about the trip saying they couldn’t wait to fly business class, assuming they would be getting bc flights as she had started flying bc. She told them that she would not spend her savings upgrading them, that she flew economy for years and worked incredibly hard to get in a position to fly bc. As an older person she now has aches and pains so affords herself this luxury once a year but as young people with young healthy bodies they should be grateful that someone else is gifting them a very expensive flight that most people can not afford and say “thank you”. She added that if they worked hard and saved that they would be able to get their own business class tickets in the future. If people are giving everything for nothing they don’t learn the value or anything.

If your husband wants to sit beside his son they could both fly economy!

As a child my family used to fly to aus and back regularly. We usually went business as it was easier and we all collected air miles.

Once we had to go with little notice and not our usual airline. My dad got business for himself and we all had to go economy. We still hold a grudge and bring it up.

DSS will not be thrilled to be sent economy while dad is in business.

I fly this similar route often enough. The mentality it's hard is ridiculous. It's 24 hours out of life and as a family we fly economy or premuum. For work it's bc. I would never dictate that kids can't fly the same class as us if we ever took the opportunity for bc. If we did otherwise, it'd be nothing but mean.

As this is a dss, you look ever meaner. They should both be in economy if you can't afford both in bc. It's such an unnecessary indulgence otherwise.

Why not premium economy? Basic economy is tortuos on long flights as you get older, especially overnight ones. Premium economy is nowhere near the cost of business class but definitely better than economy. Just more space all round, wide, plus a leg rest that holds up your legs and more tilt on the seats

Premium economy on my recent return flights to India was about £850 extra on top of economy, businesses class was around £2k more.

When I looked at flights to NZ recently PE was a lot more than economy but quite a bit less than businesses class so am surprised that some people are saying there is little difference .

I don't end to book way in advance though so maybe it is that

I’m at an age now where I will only fly BC long haul, DH the same. Our adult dc go in the back, as many have said they are young and don’t mind the relative discomfort, they watch movies and then they sleep. I was the same at that she, now it would put me out for days, especially with the huge time difference. We’ve both worked our arses off for decades to be able to afford this privilege and our DC need to realise BC is a reward for hard work.