DH and Business Class Flights

[Setthemup]

We live in Oz, we fly home pretty often as a family - every 12-18 months and my parents visit every 12-18 too. So it's never too long between visits, DH's family don't travel any more, due to health and cost. DH wants to go home to the UK for a family milestone, from a completely selfish pov - I want him to go alone. I saw everyone last year, will be seeing my parents in a couple of months for Christmas, so don't feel the urgency to go home atm. (especially in Feb when it's bleak). I have very little leave as I've just started a new job. Business Class flights are roughly $8k each, and I would prefer to spend the money elsewhere, we have loads to do around the house and a trip home is not a holiday. I have absolutely no problem DH going alone and flying BC - it's a long trek and gets harder as you get older, he could go for a month and spend time with his family and not feel pulled between 2 places. Now that I'm not keen to go DH has suggested using the money saved by me not coming to take DSS 18, which IMO defeats the object of saving the money to do some bits around the house, I have 0 problem helping DSS with his flight or paying for him to fly economy. But I don't think it's right for him to take him back business class, when we really can't afford it! AIBU?

Whose money is actually funding the flights?

This whole dynamic just sounds awful. Don't know where to begin.

Answering your question - no you are not being unreasonable.

We used to fly business class (even did a couple of trips in first) but stopped when we started flying as a family instead of a couple.

What we do now is book Singapore airlines flights to have a gap of between 7-12 hours at Changi and check-in to the airside terminal hotel for the break. Having a proper bed to sleep in between the flights makes all the difference and it is a more relaxing shower in a hotel room than in the BC lounges.

As suggested by a pp why not book economy and try and get last minute upgrades to business class? They’re often available and for a fraction of the ticket price.

can you get dss a round the world ticket in economy for less than the business class seat, then you’re treating him and saving cash. He doesn’t need to be here as long either.

I’m with you on going BC if you can, when it’s that long haul. I’d rather not fly than fly economy for that long.

In this case though - maybe they both fly Economy. A lot depends on the flight itself - non stop / 1 stop / night stop over somewhere etc.

It's one day of discomfort. One day. Get him in the back.

Of course he does.

You still sound selfish.

So what are these oh so important bits around the house and why does you wanting to do them outrank your husband wanting to buy his son a business class ticket?

As DSS presumably isn’t paying for his ticket, but DH will want him at the family event, I think it’s reasonable that they both fly economy this time.

It’s from a joint pool of money, not savings not CC. I pay into this 80/20 due to DH’s other commitments. The house isn’t falling down, more nice to have stuff. Happy to pay for him in economy.

Your plan sounds sensible.

British Airways recently gave me a free upgrade to Business on a 14-hour overnigjt flight. I actually slept, which I never do for more than a few minutes in economy, even with a leg room seat. I reckon it reduced my jet lag by at least 3 days, so it was hardly an issue.

I wouldn't have let my family spend all that money on buying me a business class ticket at 18!! I would have been mortified. If a healthy 18 year old can't travel economy then who can?

No wonder he wants to go business class, it’s mostly your money.

Do you have your own kids? I’d be tightening up my will.

Meh. Treat dss. You can afford it. As a one off.

@Setthemup - on this is probably going to sound really harsh but if you can’t afford to they should both travel economy. We have been in that position (we have 3 kids) and we flew economy. We only started flying business when we could afford to fly business for everyone. If you can’t afford 2 tickets both should fly economy

For all those saying that they have to fly the same class, why do you think that?

Surely some luxuries should be earned by work and saved for when they really make a difference.

How many 18 year olds, given a choice of sitting with their dads in business class, or flying economy and being given a few hundred pounds spending money, would choose the former? I would wager not many.

Kirsty? 😂

As a one off?

And the next time they can send him in economy?

There is nothing like "one off" giving him BC now would create an expectation that this will continue.

But why? The level of need and benefit is so much different...

Wow so you don’t want to spend your money on flying over so he thinks “great she can spend her money on my son flying there instead”

He’s a Cf!

As you get older flying is harder so it's understandable your DH wants BC for himself. You are being generous buying DSS a ticket anyway and no reason as a younger person why he can't fly economy. No reason why your DH can't go alone.

Well...It's a nice problem for you to deal with.

You do realise she pays 80 percent of everything and he only contributed 20 percent. Her money, her choice.

An 18 yo likely doesn’t need the physical seat differences that comes with business class. It’s not about better food or pampering, it’s literally about not walking off the plane in so much pain that you take days to recover.

seating each adult family member in the cheapest seat that works for them makes sense.