Never having sex again

[user043857398]

What age were you when you realised you never wanted to be touched by a man again and saw absolutely no value in a man choosing to be with you long-term?

I'm probably quite young to have come to this conclusion and the knowledge that I'll never have a romantic connection again fills me with joy.

Friends, my children, my home, my future all take my headspace up and it's such a beautiful contrast to spending my youth chasing men and hoping they would 'choose me'. It must all have been due to societal programming. I look back and realise I was always happier when I was single and not interested in someone romantically.

Do you / anyone think that maybe women feel as the op does because they haven't met the right man they have a sexual connection with .
.or maybe they did have that connection,but the man changed over time , leaving the woman to do all the domestic and childcare stuff

Why do I always think that these threads are a bit on the lines of 'The lady does protest too much'?

If you're happy with your choices @user043857398 why bother to ask if you're unreasonable?

Are you just looking for confirmation? Or an argument?

I wonder as well! We'll see. It's not that long really. I'll keep myself in good shape just in case. Or maybe I should sabotage my looks so to eradicate the danger of ever wanting a man to touch me again 😅

In my 40s I absolutely wouldn't have been bothered to not have sex again, in my 50s now and it's back on the menu and an enjoyable part of my life. (Decent man, HRT, children older so less tired).

What's to argue over? It's Sunday. There are people out there doing crack so this is hardly the worst way to spend time. What are you up to today?

Whereas I get your point. Its not the same. Im sorry its not. The poster isnt trying to change ops sexuality, just proposing the right person might not have come along. The op sounds more fed up with men then her not wanting someone...so it was a fair point to suggest.

I've had groundbreaking connections and glad I did. I look back on some of them very fondly. It's interesting to me that I don't want it anymore and it's revelational.

Well if I can spend most of my life subconsciously chasing male love it's perfectly plausible I can be subconsciously rejecting it now. If there is a right man for me I hope I never meet him.

Meh. You can be best mates with anyone. You (usually!) only have sex with the person you’re in a relationship with.

That’s just really sad.

Could well be... but either way as long as you're happy! and you're always free to change your mind!

As someone said upthread, it’s a bit too close to telling lesbians theyd love having sex with men if only they had found a man to give them pleasure….

It’s basically saying There’s something wrong with a woman saying she doesn’t want sex. That it’s abnormal so it must be <insert reason of choice - hormones, not finding the right man etc…>

Personally I think wanting to reproduce has a lot to do with it tbh. Once it’s gone, the urge to have sex wanes down.
I also think we, as humans, are strongly influenced by society on what we consider ‘good’. So being a romantic relationship=good because you ‘need’ intimacy, cuddles, support, it’s family etc… Sex=good, often because sex is seen as THE way to get intimacy. Etc etc….
So while I’m sure having good sex with the right person is bringing on pleasure etc…. and isn’t be sneered at, I dint think it’s essential to a life well lived, happy and fulfilled.

You totally missed the point of what I was saying..I said we're best mates too as in we get on and have lots in common as well as being married and having a sexual relationship. And I can tell you straight having spent 20 years married to someone who's best mate was his reflection it is a heck of a lot more than just "meh"

You totally missed the point of what I was saying..I said we're best mates too as in we get on and have lots in common as well as being married and having a sexual relationship. And I can tell you straight having spent 20 years married to someone who's best mate was his reflection it is a heck of a lot more than just "meh"

I have no libido and I really miss it.

I wish I could be happy about no longer physically wanting sex but I can't. My brain remembers and I love my husband and want to have sex with him, but I'm really struggling.

I'm trying to get my HRT sorted out but it's been really hard.

Good grief, like is too short.

Of course, we all could survive without a lot of things, and just with the most basic food and shelter, but how depressing that would be.

I hope never: I would be very miserable without wanting sex ever again, but talking with my grand-mother, hopefully, it's not a curse. I had a dry spell in the months after giving birth, but thankfully that did not last too long.

If people don't want intimacy, fair enough, but I want chocolate, wine, sex and a lot of things in my life. I am curious how I will find older men attractive when I myself am older (and how one will find ME attractive) but we'll cross that bridge when we get there

i agree ig is far far far too short, to be wasting energy and time on men who fail to deliver.

I really sympathise with this. It took me 5 years fighting to get my HRT.

I think the idea of what a ‘sex drive’ even is varies enormously from person to person.

I never understood what people meant by being horny as a kind of state of mind - feeling up for it even in the absence of anyone nearby. I would only ever feel aroused in the presence of someone I fancied.

An odd thing happened to me when I was in my late 30s - I moved out of London to a new city, and I never again laid eyes on a man I found attractive. For a year or two this seemed utterly bizarre to me and I wondered whether I had stumbled into a particularly ugly part of the world, or whether I’d had a bump to the head that damaged some part of the brain that regulates attraction - but then I just got used to it.

There have been 2 occasions since then when I’ve seen a man and had a fleeting ‘phwoar’ response, but generally I look at men in the environments I move through and feel utterly unmoved.

When I read threads on here about limerance and women who go around feeling sexually / romantically obsessed with men, I feel at once relieved not to have to have my life disrupted by this stuff, and also envious that other people have this layer of excitement that transforms ordinary office workers with nasal hair and coffee breath into demigods. I wouldn’t mind being transformed that way myself!

I’m 48 and haven’t had sex for about 6 years. Me and exH been separated 4 years of that.
mum always shocked by the fact that people ask if I’m dating anyone and they’re shocked that I don’t want to !
im not in the slightest bit interested in male company. Not interested and don’t feel the need for any sort of sexual pleasure either..
I think it’s so sad so many of my divorced friends rush into dating again, I’m putting all my energy into raising my DD.
I miss adult company sometimes but if all my friends weren’t so desperate to get hooked up with a man I’d see them more!
I’d love to do holidays with friends and their kids for example, but they’ve all got new partners and having a man there changes the dynamics too much for me..
I don’t really like men anymore, 30 years of failed relationships with selfish men has been enough…. Here’s hoping I have 30 plus years being happily single!

only if you met the wrong one, the right man - or the right woman - can and will not only deliver but exceed expectations.

Totally worth it.

Me being on MN is a complete waste of my time, and somehow I still do it 😂

Im in my early sixties and don’t intend on having sex again. It must be about ten years since I last had it (I’m not counting). I’ve nothing left to give, I’ve been let down too many times to care anymore. I have a lovely, safe crush on a celebrity and I’d have no hesitation in changing my mind if he wanted me to 😁 but in real life no. I just don’t need or want it anymore. Growing old with someone is one thing, but having to find an older man attractive at their old stage is quite another.

My husband completely changed after physical disabilities from strokes, historical military issues and total change in health and ability. But we have spent time working around this. And believe me his mental state was incredibly compromised. But I could never have written it out of our marriage because he didn't want that either- we talked about it really in depth so neither felt pressured and or guilty. A lot of time, patience, adapting. And it has been more than worth it for both of us.

I feel lonely without a relationship, I don't NEED a man, but something is missing. Friends and family cannot replace the excitement, fun and joy of great dating, intimate relationship.

For me, it's one part of all the parts I want to have in my life. A holiday with friends, a holiday with my kids or a holiday with a lover are completely different things, but each enjoyable in their own way, and each needed if you ask me.

Nearly 70 and can’t see it ever happening. I have become far more adventurous in my 60’s and learned a great deal about physical pleasure.