Never having sex again

[user043857398]

What age were you when you realised you never wanted to be touched by a man again and saw absolutely no value in a man choosing to be with you long-term?

I'm probably quite young to have come to this conclusion and the knowledge that I'll never have a romantic connection again fills me with joy.

Friends, my children, my home, my future all take my headspace up and it's such a beautiful contrast to spending my youth chasing men and hoping they would 'choose me'. It must all have been due to societal programming. I look back and realise I was always happier when I was single and not interested in someone romantically.

It's just having to tell someone where you are and basically any type of answering to another adult that I find so conceptually awful.

This.

Also, my answer: I was 49 when I realised I never wanted to be touched by a man again, or have to deal with them at all of possible. I'm 54 now and my life is so much happier.

Also just popped back to add that I've never been lovely. I absolutely Thrive in my solitude. Other people who do get lonely or are perhaps more needy (for want of a better word) are probably more likely to seek out relationships at my age or miss them if they aren't in one. It totally depends on your make up and how much shit you've put up with in the past

Personally I hope I never get there. Intimacy is a big part of my adult life and I cherish it. But then I think I have a very different approach to it than you describe. I never thought of having a relationship with a man as “chasing a man hoping he chose me”. I always thought of it as an exchange of experiences, thoughts and goals. But each to their own.

I doubt I'll ever have sex again and that makes me incredibly sad.

i couldnt do ANY of that in my marriage.

now my teens are 16/19 and while yes the oldest is disabled, the younger is able to make lunch for them both, so if i do want to pop out, i can.

also i get weekends to myself as they still visit their dads.

28 and after two kids my libido has been shot to the grave. Would quite happily live without it though because it really isnt all it's made out to be and doesn't really add anything to my life I can't live without

Yes what you describe sounds very healthy. It's like I rested my self-esteem to a large degree on someone choosing to with me romantically.

I used to find sex very uncomfortable my DH has an overactive thyroid. We had absolutely no desire it and only happened once every few months.
Different story since DH is on medication i'm 6.5 stone lighter 🤗
Im 35 and he's 36

I'm sorry to hear that and wish you success in finding that again.

I dreaded these but they have been invaluable to me and I actually never want them to end! I've rewatched some shows and spent many of them completely alone and felt so reset afterwards. I'm a stranger to stress also and swear I look younger than 10 years ago.

I hope I never lose the urge!

The reality is the way we are raised has an impact and so does societal norms. Sometimes by the time we realise this, our behaviour is already engrained and how we respond to it can vary widely. I think what’s really important is awareness of those influences and that can inform our reactions in a way that serves us. We shouldn’t worry about what others want and think. We should do what serves us. And if you are happy - then it doesn’t matter what other think. However I do think it’s human nature to seek other people that feel like us for validation.

Everyone experience is unique after botched surgery DH was completely and permanently impotent. I grieved for a decade. After the menopause it was easier. I still miss it though after nearly 25 years

I thought my sex drive had completely gone. I've recently come off sertraline and oh my god. It's back with a vengeance. I don't know why I didn't link the two, as it was so gradual, but it's one of the biggest side effects so I should have known.

My partner (who has always had a low sex drive) has had a quiet life for 5 years, and now... poor man.

Why do people always want to put a label on everything nowadays !

Early forties and married.
I’m starting to feel that I don’t really understand sex, what the point of it is exactly. Could happily never have it again.

late 40s and in full menopause (2 years) and I LOVE sex. Hope I never get to the point you are

For me, I've noticed a strong connection between how much I move my body and my sex drive.

If I have a week where I'm stuck at my desk and become too sedentary, my libido just vanishes. It's like my body and mind go into a kind of hibernation. But when I'm consistently active—whether it's running, yoga, or just long walks—I feel so much more alive and in tune with myself.

That energy definitely translates to wanting more intimacy and connection with my partner. For us, staying active has been a key part of keeping the fun and passion in our relationship for the long haul. Feeling strong and energetic in my own body is a huge part of what makes me desire physical closeness.

I have never liked sex. I never valued it. I slept with a lot of men when I was young but never enjoyed the act itself.

Eventually I realised I just don't have that physical desire or need.

I am married to a man who is the same and after we had our children we never had sex again.

We are very close, best friends and love each other very much, we just have no interest in sex and haven't had it in over 25 years.

I find having kids being the problem and the loss of all my freedom😂

Partner? Not so much, I just as well tell my friends on whatsapp what I am up that night anyway (I don't make an announcement, we just have an ongoing chit chat and that obviously comes up ) so make no difference to tell him too.

On the other hand, I have someone offering me lifts and to grab me a bottle or a snack on his way home

for me (because I am not talking about other people!), being in a relationship makes my life easier, and more free -but again that's because of the kids

We are all different anyway

I CAN go to a restaurant or cinema or anywhere on my own - some people do have anxiety about it, I honestly don't see the difference with going to the supermarket alone, I mean you just get on with things, no big deal

but choosing to go to a restaurant specifically on my own? (as opposed to going to one because I need to eat something) No, no interest in that at all, I am just bored. I "need" if you like the word, need friends and/ or a partner, or I can't see the point of going away alone.

I can't get any intimacy from my friends, that's when the man element comes in 😂

If I do eat out alone I'm always on my phone messaging friends so never really feel alone. If it weren't for this then I'd probably not go and just get a takeaway.

It’s the thing I don’t like about marriage or living with someone- ( and I’ve been married twice- currently 30 years and also lived with someone for 4 years between marriages) maybe this is down to ‘who’ you are with and that’s a bit luck of the draw as people can and do change. I certainly don’t feel comfortable about saying I’m just nipping off for a week with a friend and there’s an awful lot of compromise often involved-especially if the other person has much of the financial power. Things that people say they have no issue with can change- in my experience a lot of older men expect to be able to do stuff as and when but get nit picky if you aren’t around to housekeep for them and yet didn’t start that way

Same here-zero interest - my DC and DDog /Dcat complete my life 100%.

I have been married for 40+ years, when I was Young, I enjoyed Laughter,Fun,Dancing,listening to music.I enjoyed intimacy.I met my husband when I was 20,Sex between us has never been great, now almost non existent! It's been a issue between us for 40 yrs mainly due to Erectile disfunction.I would think if you are not feeling like Sex, you are not with the right partner! There has to be Chemistry between you.Either emotional, phiscal attraction or both.I still feel those feelings,but not with my Husband. I feel sad now, that I am now old, I will never experience those feelings again.I am married it's just too late! Being needed,wanted, loved, can be such a powerful force,I think anything less than that, is never ever good enough!