Do you find your DH attractive?

[Thenamesmom]

I’ve been with DH for 9 years but recently a situation happened where I was around a very attractive man (all innocent) but for the first time in many years I actually thought wow he’s attractive.

I actually felt quite guilty about it. I told DH and we both laughed about it as this man was literally created by god himself (he was Italian and Cuban) so you can only imagine.

It made me realise that I have never felt that about my DH? I don’t look at him and think oh my god I want to rip you clothes off. DH is quite short dad body and is balding quite quickly. It’s made me wonder if this is why our sex life has been affected as I’m not actually attracted to him. I love him to pieces but not attracted to him.

Im not perfect myself I’ve had 3 kids but made the effort to loose the weight and I still make an effort like I did pre kids.

Its left me feeling a bit confused in all honesty and I hope no one judges me from this post. Do you all find your husband/partners attractive?

He can toss a pizza without dropping his cigar 🤷‍♀️

Different strokes for different folks

I'm not sure why that would mean it looks as if he's been designed by god himself

Yep been together 10 years.

Some days I find him less attractive then others, but that’s because of my feelings when I’m due on my period. I even hate hearing his breathing.

But I’m very attracted to him.

I found dh extremely attractive when we first met 20 years ago and did for a good 15 years even when he gained a few stone (although I worried about his health). Five years ago he went on a massive health kick and lost 4 stone, he’s tiny now smaller than me and he looks scrawny. (To the point he got asked if he was ill as times) I’m glad he’s happier but I don’t find him attractive as I did. We still enjoy sex though and I am attracted to having sex with him.

I wasn’t attracted to DH straight away but got to know him and his personality which made me fancy him.

It’s been almost 20 years since we got together and over the years he has changed his facial hair, his overall style, worked out more to get more muscular, has been an amazing partner, husband, dad and best friend. And ooooofffff! I find him so attractive and sexy. I sometimes do just look at him and think oh my god you're gorgeous

He is the more attractive one out of the two of us. But he tells me every day how much he fancies me and we’re still very affectionate with each other after so long together. And when he tells me what he loves about how I look and shows how much he loves me it makes him even sexier. We were at a wedding the other week and I was just chatting to the groom and laughing with him. DH was sat at a table and I saw him look over so I smiled back at him and carried on talking. He then text me to tell me how beautiful I am when I laugh and how lucky he is. Which actually gave me butterflies. And then he sent a second text to say that I am also very lucky that he is so hilarious and that I have him to make me laugh. Which made me laugh again!

I've been married to my Dh for over 20 years, and when we were first dating I fancied the pants off him! Of course, he's aged, has a bit of a pot belly now and his hair is thinning and grey. There are the odd times I still look at him and think he's attractive- and he still has a very attractive face but I don't feel the same passion I once did, however, I don't feel the same passion for anyone else either which has a lot to do with menopause, cancer treatment and being older rather than him.

He could make an effort to not be overweight and to exercise, just like women should ( not that I’m shaming those who carry extra lbs and don’t try to keep fit. I’m guilty myself!)

Op I think you’re focussing on wrong thing here. Often times these lust moments out the blue that get people questioning relationships can signal wider issues.
Your DH has changed from the man you met. You now describe him physically different but I suspect it’s the moodiness that might be the issue. Is he still the kind, responsible man or has that changed too? Forget lust is he a good friend? And why did you tell him about the Cuban god? Was it to try stir him into something other than what he’s become?

Yes, been together 30 years and still find myself looking at him and thinking he's gorgeous.

When I met my husband 13yrs ago he was tall dark handsome and skinny exactly my type!! After 2 kids and 10yrs of marriage he's still tall dark and handsome in my eyes but he has grown a dad bod. I never used to be attracted to bigger men even though I'm no slim chicken myself, but as the years have gone by I still find him insanely attractive even though I don't fancy other men with dad bods. I think as few others have said it's our connection I love not just his physical looks and greying hair, I still find him attractive because he's an amazing dad and husband. Maybe you're missing something in the relationship that has made you question this?

Honestly, not in the way I probably should.
But I'm not with him, nor would I be with anyone, for their looks. It wasn't on the top of my list of priorities.

It's been 6 years but forced out of the honeymoon phase and catapulted into parenthood and I can still say very confidently that DH is beautiful and is aging like a fine wine.

I do. But I think as women we are conditioned to not care about a mans appearance/put our desire last so I can see why you've married a man you don't fancy

😂😂😂

In answer to the question, yes I still find my DP attractive - I still look at him sometimes and think, wow, that is a very attractive man. We've been together a long time and have three kids. He's gained a bit of weight but in a way that makes him look more masculine/less boyish than when we met. He's still tall and strong and has kind eyes and a handsome face and good teeth and he makes me laugh. I hope he still finds me attractive too.

Rather weirdly I look back at earlier photos of my husband and can't really see why he swept me off my feet. I think he is more handsome now, though has of course aged in those 20 years, and I rarely see anyone in real life who I think is more attractive. He did have a better body back then though, as did I.

I’ve only been with DP for about 3 years but yes I find him very attractive. Very. To the point he probably wishes I’d find him lesss attractive 😭

I couldn’t be with someone I wasn’t attracted to, I’d probably just stay single as it’s a very rare event for me anyways. I’m quite neutral about most people, even if I look at them and objectively find them good looking (just not personally attractive to me).

My husband is classically handsome in a George Clooney kind of way, especially now his dark hair is shot through with silver threads. He is tall and well-built with fantastic sea-green eyes and black lashes. I see the way other women look at him and react around him. We've been married nearly 30 years and he just turned 62. He started to develop a bit of a beer belly last year but went on a health kick and got it under control. So yes, I find him attractive, but I love him for his kindness, good humour, helpfulness and sense of humour.

Yes after 25 years I still do.

Finding someome attractive isn't just about their looks/body when you know someone, though.

I mean, I can't imagine my partner finds me attractive when compared to actually attractive women 🤷🏻‍♀️

He's probably attracted to me 'enough'.

Do I find him attractive? Yes but looks are the least interesting part of someone for me.

Yes, I really do. He has a very physical job so he has stayed very muscular and fit, even as he's got older. Sometimes I look at him and just want to jump on him.

😍

Yes. I think he is handsome, he's really kind too.
Women aren't dropping at his feet. 😅

You feel how you feel, your eyes see what they see. There’s no point feeling guilty about it. Did you ever feel that way about your DH in the early days and then you forgot?

I think this is the reality for many couples but nobody mentions it.

I really fancy my partner, he looks incredibly good for his age and has his own style and dresses well when we go out. I would never say to him that I found another man attractive - I think that's a horrible thing to do.