Do you find your DH attractive?

[Thenamesmom]

I’ve been with DH for 9 years but recently a situation happened where I was around a very attractive man (all innocent) but for the first time in many years I actually thought wow he’s attractive.

I actually felt quite guilty about it. I told DH and we both laughed about it as this man was literally created by god himself (he was Italian and Cuban) so you can only imagine.

It made me realise that I have never felt that about my DH? I don’t look at him and think oh my god I want to rip you clothes off. DH is quite short dad body and is balding quite quickly. It’s made me wonder if this is why our sex life has been affected as I’m not actually attracted to him. I love him to pieces but not attracted to him.

Im not perfect myself I’ve had 3 kids but made the effort to loose the weight and I still make an effort like I did pre kids.

Its left me feeling a bit confused in all honesty and I hope no one judges me from this post. Do you all find your husband/partners attractive?

My husband has gorgeous dark features, he’s getting more handsome with age. Definitely got a dad bod and could be healthier, but we’re in the trenches with young kids right now and I can’t say I’m any better!

Yes, I find my DH attractive, sexy, handsome etc.
sometimes I wonder how on earth I ended up with someone so good looking as I’m very average!

Yes, he's very good looking but we annoy the F out of each other so it's good that it's a redeeming quality!

Obvs a joke. He's very lovely and organised.

Sexually attractive and that’s why I struggle to leave him, despite him being abusive. There I said it. Pathetic I know.

I love my husband as he is the father of my child and when we first met (11yrs ago) I found him immensely attractive (my friend always referred to him as the silver fox), he was always clean, smartly dressed and smelled amazing. By the time we married 6yrs ago he started to let himself go a bit but I still found him attractive however over the last 2 or 3 years I have not found him attractive at all, he has put on alot of weight, he now thinks joggers and a t-shirt is acceptable clothing for wearing in public and that jeans and a short sleeve shirt is dressy, his nose hair, ear hair and eyebrows are out of control and I honestly couldn't tell u the last time he smelled good. He is nothing like the man I met 11yrs ago.

Definitely still fancy my DH. Especially when he’s either suited up for an occasion or under a car fixing it.
Hopefully it’ll never disappear - 23 years together. Mid/late 40s

Absolutely still fancy my DH after 15 years together, he is 7 years younger than me so my very own sexy toy boy, he's in his 40s has a dad bod but I don't care I'll jump in bed with him anytime :)

We only met a year ago. I did when I first met him, but in the last 6 months he's put on an awful lot of weight and he keeps complaining about being fat. For me it's doubly unattractive- I don't like him so big, and I don't like him moaning about being overweight but not doing anything about it.

Yes, he is a very handsome man, thick dark hair (now with lots of grey), tall, extremely fit. He actually looks more handsome with age, whereas I feel I’m starting to lose whatever looks I had. Been together for 25+ years.

However, the man has no chat….hence why I’m on here.

You can’t have it all!

If you met your "gorgeous" partner when you were both 25, would have given a 45 year old a second look?

Probably not, you would have thought a 45 year old is practically dead, all the balding men and women with sagging boobs and stretch marks . . no thanks!

But then you get to 45 and only see your partner, not yourself.

"I don't fancy him anymore"

"I still make an effort, even after four kids"

Really!

How much of that effort is "fake-up"?

I can make myself look Instagram worthy given an hour and enough cosmetics!

But it's not real.

Men typically don't have recourse to the "lie layers" we do. The most your "unattractive" DH can do is usually a shower and a clean shirt. For us, that's not even the starting point.

If you're over 40, with kids, trust me, you look over 40!

Wonder how attractive the OP looks without make up?

I was first attracted to my husband by his extremely good looks so yes, 30 years later I still find him extremely attractive. Objectively, he’s the most handsome man I know.

I think my husband is gorgeous - we've been together 15 years and I often look at him and feel struck by how handsome he is (and he still turns heads!). Sadly I am the one whose looks have deteriorated in our relationship following childbirth etc.

Here's a reverse, have u ever seen a bloke that clearly takes care of themselves, tanned, muscley but is just not attractive at all? Like the typical bloke people would be like oh wow. I feel nothing. Don't really like that look. Yet when David harbour was fat at the start of stranger things I found him hugely attractive 🤣🤣🤣 I must be so weird!

Yes very.

Well my lovely dp isn’t attractive at all, in the conventional sense. I love tall, with broad shoulders, strong jaw etc. He isn’t any of that. What he is, and what makes him incredibly attractive to me is his smile, his personality, his love and care for me that he expresses in a myriad of ways every day. His touch, kiss, willingness to massage my neck with no pressure to return the favour; his gentleness and patience. We both try to keep fit although we haven’t managed it as much as we’d have liked! But 30 years in, I find him more attractive than ever.

I think attraction isn't the issue here -y ou are focusing on the wrong thing.

I do think your post is a bit mean though - would you like him to compare you to Angelina Jolie/ Claudia Schiffer? Few people are that attractive in real life. My husband is v good looking, and I consider myself v attractive on my best days. But I would be hurt if my husband based his attraction to me on whether I held up to Halle Berry. That's an unattainable standard and also reduces me to just looks and sex appeal. And I wouldn't look at him and think he needs to look like a model whose job is to look good and take care of their body.

But I find my husband most attractive when he's cleaned up and looked after the kids particularly well that day. So that comes back to the wider point that you don't feel your husband is meeting your needs in that way.

If he didn’t make your knees wobble when you first met then unlikely to now.

it sounds like your in a bit of a routine and it’s boring.

you don’t have to stay like this because it’s safe and comfortable.
the grass isn’t always greener but once the kids are gone, do you have interests
with DH in retirement etc. or will it just be the same old grind?

Physically my DH is OKish, but what makes him really attractive are his innate kindness, consideration and sense of humour.

Yes, very attractive.

wrong thread.

He’s attractive looking, but he can be a complete arsehole, so no.

he was Italian and Cuban

And?

I’ve known DP 3 1/2 years and I find him very attractive - sometimes when we are watch a film if something I sneak looks at him and think ‘mmmmmmmm I really find you very attractive’

Yes.

Some of you might think my partner looks like a big troll (he doesn’t 😂), but I find him insanely attractive.

We've always had amazing chemistry, and that doesn’t seem to be fading/dying.

Life makes us both absolutely gross sometimes, and it doesn’t change the levels of attraction.

He’s hot when he’s dressed up and has made an effort, hot when he’s covered in our son’s yoghurt, snot or chocolatey finger prints or has just changed his nappy. Hot sat on his arse on the sofa, and hot in the kitchen making dinner.

We’re a jogging bottoms and hoodies kinda family, not chavvy just chasing a SEN kid around so aim for comfort, and there’s nobody else I’d rather be greasy and exhausted with.