Do you find your DH attractive?

[Thenamesmom]

I’ve been with DH for 9 years but recently a situation happened where I was around a very attractive man (all innocent) but for the first time in many years I actually thought wow he’s attractive.

I actually felt quite guilty about it. I told DH and we both laughed about it as this man was literally created by god himself (he was Italian and Cuban) so you can only imagine.

It made me realise that I have never felt that about my DH? I don’t look at him and think oh my god I want to rip you clothes off. DH is quite short dad body and is balding quite quickly. It’s made me wonder if this is why our sex life has been affected as I’m not actually attracted to him. I love him to pieces but not attracted to him.

Im not perfect myself I’ve had 3 kids but made the effort to loose the weight and I still make an effort like I did pre kids.

Its left me feeling a bit confused in all honesty and I hope no one judges me from this post. Do you all find your husband/partners attractive?

Someone upthread mentioned chemistry - and I do think that's what it is that keeps the attraction in a long term relationship. I'm thankful my DH still fancies me as I've now got one boob (thanks breast cancer) and have had other surgeries that mean my body has lots of scarring and my hair is thinning. I am definitely not as attractive as I used to be but there's not much I can do about it!

DH has aged well, he's now mid 60s and I still find him attractive though if it were a random photo of him then I don't think I would say he was attractive or my type necessarily but we forget how we all age (well those fortunate enough to) whilst still feeling the same inside.

Yes, and we’ve been together since 1992. He’s doing middle age well.

I find him very attractive, we have been together over 14 years.
I've never looked at him and thought 'wow' though as some pp have.
He's not a Greek God, he's short and stocky and averagely handsome. There's just something about him though, we have amazing chemistry, sexual and otherwise. I have seen many men who are objectively more handsome but I don't fancy them like I do my DH. Attraction is a strange beast I suppose.

I do. After over 20 years I still look at him and think wow, I get to be with him!

Brilliant post

A new pair of shoes is always going to look shiny and attractive,

I think my husband is gorgeous and sexy, and is getting more so as he gets older. He could stand to lose some weight, but so could I, and really muscular guys turn me off because they don’t look cuddly.

Sorry to hear that, i hope you're planning on leaving him. Don't stay attached to someone who bullies you

Yes. He may be bald and have a bit of a dad bod, but to me he’s still very attractive.

I find my husband incredibly attractive and always have. He is a very handsome, very masculine man who has always looked after himself and is very well groomed.
It doesn't mean I don't find other men attractive, its human nature to find others attractive. We are very open with each other about who we find attractive. No need to feel guilty unless you are secretive about it or act upon it.

Been together 22 years both white British and we have both changed I carried twins and due to health reasons I now struggle with my weight hubby has always been slim but did put some wait on a few years ago during covid and honestly I didn’t even notice at first but he was not happy and has since lost weight and is back to his slim build, I can’t ever get back to being a size 6/8 (I wish I could) but he swears he still finds me attractive (I obviously doubt this all the time) I still find him attractive I can’t imagine not finding him attractive to be honest.

I didn't find my ex 'D'P that attractive. I knew him at school and really fancied him then but when we met up, years later, I didn't fancy him anywhere near as much. However, there were other things I liked about him to make me stay in a relationship with him. He put on weight, lost some of his hair, and went grey whereas I'm not that different in weight to when we knew each other at school and I look after myself (I like to think anyway).

I just assumed that you couldn't have everything in a relationship, especially as we were older and I thought I was lucky that he had his own hair and teeth! (We were 39 when we met up again).

I'm now seeing someone who is a few years younger than me (ahem) and who I do find much more physically attractive but I don't have the same love and respect that I had for my ex.

I'd love to have it all but assumed that was only the case in fairytales!

Yes, sometimes I look at him and think wow you’re beautiful. In the last few years he’s gained a bit of chub and stopped working out so much but I’m glad of this because I’ve been having baby after baby and I don’t want him walking next to me looking like a model (which he used to be mistaken for a lot) while I waddle along looking horrible next to him. Would hate to think people are thinking what is he doing with her!

I was with my husband for over 30 years until he died recently. He looked just like Sean Connery, so not exactly difficult to still find him very attractive. He wasn't British and also had a very sexy accent. I miss him so much.

Absolutely. He's still very handsome after 20 years and is ageing like a fine wine!

Yes still attracted... however I swear perimenopause makes me sometimes look at him and not want sex... but I think that's more my hormones than him...

We both however see someone and say... oh they are good looking etc about both sexes but we are also both secure enough to know its like looking at a fantastic painting or a really gorgeous car.... we aren't going to get rid of what we have for a fleeting view point.

No I don’t find my DH that attractive. He is quite handsome but let himself go. I love him to bits snd we have a good life together but I never want to rip his clothes of. That said I’m too knackered to rip anyone’s clothes off.

DH is literally the most handsome man I've ever met in real life. He is 100% my type.

I encourage him to take better care of his body, and I wouldn't say no if he decided he'd suddenly like to get a set of abs (he sports a one pack)! But his face, height, build, facial hair, hairstyle, eyes, skin colour, dress sense - everything - is tick, tick, tick!

We've been together 20 years, but went for a pub lunch with friends on Monday, and I was struck by his handsomness as he sat across from me, in the sunshine, in a denim shirt with the sleeves rolled up and classic Ray Ban aviators.

Always have done, and even more so as he's got older (we've been together 17 years).

I find a Ferrari far more attractive than my Nissan Juke but Jukebox is all mine and it’s lovely and I’d never be able to deal with the headaches a Ferrari would undoubtedly bring. Sometimes it’s about what you know and love rather than what is absolutely the best you know?

Yes I do. He's early 60s and we've been together for 40 years. Obviously we're becoming aged old crocks, but to me he's still got it. Keeps himself fit and healthy as much as possible so that probably helps. But I like his personality and outlook. Obviously he irritates me sometimes and I him!

Oh yes. He’s gorgeous - silver fox. But we’ve only been together 5 years.

Ooh yes, my DP is bald and has a bit of a dad bod, but he’s an ex county swimmer and he has big coat hanger shoulders that the rest of him hangs from. They are a thing of wild beauty.

Neither do nor do not find him attractive... I don't really even look at his looks anymore, he is ingrain as part of my day to day life.

He doesn't look like a 'cuban god' (whatever the hell that is, doesn't sound my taste anyway) but sometime he looks cute, and sometime he looks rough (just like me) because hes a real person and we live together every day through the good and bad days.

Ripping each others clothes off like horny teens is not where I want to be at this point in life, I would much rather sit together, chatting, eating snacks and watch tv.

Yes, I do find my DH very physically attractive, but his personality / behaviours etc can make me go weeks without “seeing” his physical attributes. It makes me sad.