Do you find your DH attractive?

[Thenamesmom]

I’ve been with DH for 9 years but recently a situation happened where I was around a very attractive man (all innocent) but for the first time in many years I actually thought wow he’s attractive.

I actually felt quite guilty about it. I told DH and we both laughed about it as this man was literally created by god himself (he was Italian and Cuban) so you can only imagine.

It made me realise that I have never felt that about my DH? I don’t look at him and think oh my god I want to rip you clothes off. DH is quite short dad body and is balding quite quickly. It’s made me wonder if this is why our sex life has been affected as I’m not actually attracted to him. I love him to pieces but not attracted to him.

Im not perfect myself I’ve had 3 kids but made the effort to loose the weight and I still make an effort like I did pre kids.

Its left me feeling a bit confused in all honesty and I hope no one judges me from this post. Do you all find your husband/partners attractive?

No, not really. He’s looked after himself, but our sex life is crap and has been for years.
I kind of see him as a friendly roommate really. Waiting for kids to get to 18 and then I can’t see us staying together.
Looking back, I’m not sure we were ever each others type and we just got together (friends for years first) because it was convenient and safe 😂
Benefit of hindsight.

We've been together since our late teens (now mid 50s). I do look at him and think he is an attractive man, and I think other women would probably find him attractive. But since the menopause I wouldn't be interested if Brad Pitt and George Clooney climbed into my bed.

Shame really, I need to do something about it.

I find my DH gorgeous. I miss him physically when we aren’t able to have sex. Not just the sex, but rather being intimate with him.

I do yes , he a very handsome man and quite sexy if I say so, he does get quite abit of attention as well, but doesn’t bat an eyelid, he is definitely an upgrade on my last one.

Depends what you mean by attractive.

Is he the most physically attractive man on Earth, nope.

Do I have to resist the urge to rip his clothes off, rarely, if ever, these days.

Does any of that matter? Nah, he’s still the one for me.

This! You said it much better than me Deerstalkee!

20 years next year, and i still get fanny gallops when i look at him.

The way he sits. The way he moves. Muscles from work but long limbs. sexy legs, nice arms, big brown eyes. Long lashes. Strong clever hands. I love the smell of him - unwashed!

He makes me laugh and when he puts his hands on me i melt.
sigh

I suspect this really isn't about your husband's looks - my guess is that you would still find him attractive (regardless of his looks) if he wasn't 'lazy and moody and a complete different person' to the one you married. It's easy to bypass someone's looks if they're a lovely person, but if they stop being a lovely person, that's when their looks start to matter.

I've been with my partner for 22 years and of course his appearance has changed in that time; he has a nice enough face and a lovely voice, but he isn't as fit as he used to be, he has a beer belly now, his hair is receding a lot more etc. Objectively, he's not going to turn women's heads in the street - if I'd never met him before, he wouldn't turn mine. But I'm still massively attracted to him because he still has exactly the same personality that he did when we first got together. He's still kind, supportive, incredibly funny, clever, interesting and incredible in bed, so yeah, I'm still attracted to him for that reason. I don't think I even really notice his appearance that much - but I find him sexy regardless.

Yes.

Similar. I even knew it at the time, so can't comfort myself I was doing what I thought was best; I was just a coward with low self esteem. I'm not able to be as sanguine as you about it though. Sometimes it hits me like a brick and I can't stop crying.

Very much so! I think it increases the longer we're together. He takes good care of himself too.

Honestly, I think it's out of order when people do this. If you're planning to leave him when your kids are 18 then you should tell him because, you know, maybe that's not a plan he wants. If he knew, he could make a decision now.

Perhaps you'll tell me it's none of my business - and it isn't. But you've stuck it on an Internet forum so 🤷‍♂️

Yes I do, and still regularly see other ladies checking him out. However the lusty ‘want to rip your clothes off as soon as we are alone’ has waned since having a young child and entering perimenopause. Many older friends have told me this is temporary and that your sex life (just like the rest of life) has peaks and troughs. Do you find his personality attractive? Humour and wit don’t fade with age.

Yep massively! He's the sexiest man alive in my eyes 😍

There’s a lot I find very attractive about my DH but also a few traits / aspects I find despicable / disgusting

I find DH attractive - out bodies have both changed over the 14 years we have been together but we are still attracted to each other

My DH is very sexy and I fancy the pants off him! We've been together for 8 years and we're still like teenagers and always sneak in a quick snog where we can!

30 years in and yes I still look at him and think he’s gorgeous.

We’ve been together for 34 years and yes I still find my DH attractive. Sure his hair is thinner and he too is a bit thinner but yes he still does it for me 😜

I met my DH 31 years ago and thought “wow, he’s beautiful”. We didn’t get together for another 3.5yrs, I got used to how handsome he was and he was just a mate. When I realised he fancied me too, I was shocked but really happy. He’s in his early 50’s now and I think he’s even more handsome now than he was then.

Yes! I look at him most days and think… god you’re sexy/hot/handsome/manly/strong

I find my DH attractive, he is tall, dark and handsome! He’s charming, intelligent, funny, hard working and I still get excited when I see him come through the door. I have been with him nearly 16 years. He’s a real catch and I am so proud to be married to him. We both make an effort to look after ourselves.

Yes. After 41 years I still find him very attractive. He has looked after himself and still has a slim athletic physique. It is however his lovely brown eyes and lovely smile that make me go weak at the knees.

Yes, I do. He's lost his hair, which was already in its way out when we met, but he still has a sexy smile and the most amazing green eyes.

My husband and I have been together 12 years and I still find him as attractive now as I did then, I fancy the pants off him!