Bed situation. Weekend away.

[Puffalicious]

I'm going away for the weekend for my sister's big birthday, Fri-Sun.

Background is that I really don't want to go - I'm not a fan of 'enforced fun', drinking all weekend & 'girly' pursuits (as they call it) - hot-tub, nail salon, games, themes etc- but I felt I needed to go or there would be raised brows & bad feeling. I already do not go to the annual weekend away with my sisters & female cousins due to these very reasons, & didn't attend niece's abroad hen (went to home hen)- I plainly cite that it's 'Not my thing, but hope you have a lovely time & send lots of photos'. I did go to the cousin's one last autumn as it was in the UK, but didn't really enjoy it & was thankful I could wild swim/ go walks to have a bit of chill time.

Anyway, back to this weekend. It's both my sisters & sister-in-law, & each have a daughter (my nieces- ranging in age 19-30), so 7 in total including me (I have 3 sons so none of them attending). I've just found out there's only 6 beds!!! No mention of this beforehand. WhatsApp chat has mentioned we need to toss a coin for the sofa!

I'm just not doing it. Although i love them all dearly, I already don't fancy going & don't want to sleep badly all ruddy weekend. We've all paid the same- not a little amount. DN (30) has a fractured foot, so she can't go on the sofa.

YABU - take your turn on the sofa, suck it up.

YANBU- message the chat in some way. If so, what do i write?

'No worries, we've all already had 12 boosters and as a result are all immune. Looking forward to seeing you!x'

Geez it’s one weekend…! Are you always such a stick in the mud? There’ll be plenty of time to do nothing with you’re 80!

You sound like a lovely sister and aunt. I’m glad DN realized the right thing is for her to take the sofa. It it happens again just say “I think we oldies should get beds as well as (insert name if anyone is injured or pregnant). You’re the older generation! Not your turn to suffer. I’d also speak up earlier during next booking and offer to pay more for your own room so you can go to bed earlier/zone out but still enjoy the best parts (the meals and sober chat?).

Bring some earplugs - I like alpine better than loops for when it’s too much, or earbuds for an audiobook. Take your walks when they are doing the things that bore you most. I think you are great for making sure you support family who live a little differently than you. That’s the point of family.

I agree with this poster to @Puffalicious
sorry if you’ve had a rough time on this thread. I think it’s very reasonable to feel like this but still feel the need to go and be an extrovert in certain occasions!
I would say I would really prefer not to sleep on the sofa as I may want to go to bed a bit earlier (you know what I’m like) and am happy to pay a little more for a room and take it off the fee of whomever is on the sofa if that helps.
then you’re just being honest and you will have your place to escape to when you need a rest from the girly stuff xx

OP I just want to say you sound absolutely lovely and very reasonable. I love how you accept your family the way they are, and are willing to put up with what they enjoy, and how you still also try to stay true to yourself and keep yourself comfy and content. There’d be a lot less AIBUs if everyone was like you :) I hope you’ll have a lovely (enough) weekend!

It’s reassuring to hear other people don’t love these weekends either! I don’t as I am introverted and it would be draining. I’m not ‘girly’ and I don’t drink. The idea of sleeping in a sofa when everyone has finished drinking would be so horrible that I’d feel stressed all evening then wouldn’t sleep!

Here we go again! Honestly, it's hilarious. I've already said that I've done MORE THAN ENOUGH in my lifetime of partying. It would make your hair stand on end. I'm over it.
Since you're so insistent, I'll admit that compared to the fantastic partying I've been lucky enough to do, this weekend- and others like it- are just a bit shit. It's like visiting the most awesome beaches on the planet, then going to a shit, stony one in the pissing rain: still a beach, but a huge disappointment. There I've said it. If that makes me a 'party' snob so be it.

See also shit house parties/ weddings with shit music/ 80s nights with shit music & leg-warmers/ fancy dress/ bottomless brunches/anything where people try to be 'wacky' or ' I'm mad me'- no you're not.

Dancing in the rain at Fat Boy Slim live/ Glitterbox/ living vicariously through my 18 & 21 Yr old DC- grand, count me in. I'm very 'Go big or go home'.

Satisfied you've got a rise out of me now?

Thank you Ellepf Lilactimes Carodebalo Rpop and others who have got it. You've made me feel loads better.

Actually I’m impressed. Also went to see FatBoy Slim on the beach many years ago!

And yes now you’ve worded it like that, I do understand the not liking the fake party. It’s the reason I dislike Sex & the City and shows like that - all pink and fake and no substance. So I’m with you on been-there-seen-it-done-it better…

However it probably means a lot to the people who have organised it. I still believe life is short and we should just go for it! You can bring some authenticity to the weekend…!

Yep as the youngest it was always me 😂! We have the least back pains (not always because I've had 2 kids and my backs fucked but like that's the unwritten rule!!

I'm only 28 and I would hate this too. I did all my partying aged 13-21😂😂 now I love being home

Good point, but at least OP will have a shot at an early bedtime!

Yup, was there in Brighton back in the day, & saw him last year in the pouring rain in an awesome outdoor venue (with 2 other nieces who are late 30s) & it was immense.

I'm an old clubber, so been clubbing round the world as I travelled, & laughed very hard when a pupil asked me last week 'Miss, have you heard of Creamfields?'. I

was 16 in the 2nd Summer of Love & started life as I know it in a smiley face tshirt waiting at a phone box to get the co-ordinates of an illegal rave. My DC listen wistfully to those stories. My sisters were far, far more sheltered.

But I totally take on board that life is short. I WILL throw myself into it- I won't be in bed early, I'll escape to the camper & take a midnight drive if the stars are out- and be there for the folk who have bothered to organise it. I'll wear my birthday hat, get in the hot-tub & drink Nosecco. Thanks for giving me a shake.

I love to prove what a huge party animal you are/were you chose a fat boy slim gig as an example 😂😂😂

I seem to be the odd one out here. It is only a weekend after all. It is your sister and other family members. It is her special birthday. Just look upon it as your duty and grit your teeth. Anyone can have a couple of uncomfortable nights. I think it would be churlish not to go frankly. But as I say ,I am in .minority.

Sorry, you were/are far cooler than me.

I won't mention that I ran club nights in Ibiza in my 20s then? Then was asked to run the same in Melbourne.

I mentioned FBS & Glitterbox as my most recent, bigger gigs. We have DS3 as our priority these days.

I agree. This is exactly what my post was saying. I AM going. It was advice about sleeping I was after. I'm taking the camper.

If you can't get out of it it's a shame you've pulled your back, having to take painkillers just to sit up right and the doctors told you that you need proper rest and to stretch it gently, maybe by doing some swimming.

Excellent, and you can bask in the glory of saving the day - you have made sure that everyone gets a bed and no-one has to sleep on the sofa!

Perfect solution!

I like your response to the previous trip. “I won’t go but have a lovely time and send pics”. I’m far too old now to go along to things that I know I’m not going to enjoy - life is way too short and You shouldn’t have to do anything You don’t want to do - not even for family.

Not far behind you - I was 12!!

And have been asked by my pupils about music - some were really impressed I knew who TLC were! 🫤 and they’re SHOCKED I know about Tupac and Biggie! 😂 I’m like guys I LIVED through this! And I work with sixth formers so they always say “but Miss you don’t look a day over 25! 😄 It does make me laugh though when they think they’re just discovering things. Disposable cameras are a big thing now - because Miss did you know they’re better than phone cameras…!

Haha I guess I can live vicariously through my students AND my own children! Enjoy the weekend and add to the memories 😊

I'm old now, and I've finally realized that I can say no to anything, and I don't need to give a reason. I wish I'd realized it decades ago. If you don't want to attendI don't care whose birthday it is, and who is not going to like itI vote you politely decline. You only live once and your time is your most precious possession. If people don't like your boundaries, too bad.

Oh dear, what a shame you are about to come down with norovirus the day before.

Take lots of vodka, get them all drunk and whoever passes out first stays in the sofa - job done