To have been half naked in front of other children?

[BrieEncounter]

I had an encounter yesterday that has made me question myself and whether what I did was inappropriate.

I regularly swim at my local health club and often go during my lunchtimes. With summer holidays there are lots of children there which is, of course, absolutely fine.

The club has separate changing areas: a large open room to one side for families with children (with baby change etc), a large female only changing area that also has at the back a section for ‘adults only’..and then the same for men’s.

I got changed in my usual spot which is in the female changing rooms, but not in the ‘adult only’ section.

When I returned from swimming there were a couple of women also in this area wrangling their children. The kids were all boys but very young: I’d say eldest was 8ish so not old enough to go into the men’s rooms
alone.

I didn’t think much of it and started to get changed after a shower. I’d got my shorts on under my towel and was putting my bra on. I dropped the towel but then realised the straps had loosened so I took it off, adjusted the straps and put it back on again. I had my bra off for maybe 30 seconds whilst doing this.

As I was putting my top on, one of the women started shouting at me and accusing me of flashing her children. That if I was going to be naked I should move to the ‘adults only’ section. I didn’t really know how to respond and pointed out this was a changing room and equally, she could have gone to the family room. She said the room was too small for her and her friend together and I was completely inappropriate.

She then rushed the kids out and said she’d be speaking to the manager on her way out.

There was no one else in this part of the changing rooms but several women (in various states of undress) popped their heads around the corner to see what the fuss was about. I was mortified so just got dressed and packed up as fast as I could.

When I left, I mentioned what had happened to the receptionist who said that someone had made a complaint about inappropriateness with young children in the changing room! She said they had flagged it to the manager who would be in tomorrow (now today) who will review it.

Im due to go at lunchtime and can’t quite believe it.

Was it unreasonable to have been (momentarily) topless in front of young children?

What on earth is this 😂

The woman was getting dressed, in the appropriate space, and has breasts. If you don’t want your kids to see that, go into the available family changing space.

Insane!

Stop trying to pick a fight. I don’t have an issue with how you get dressed. I was just querying the assertion that no-one in your gym ever strips off, which implied they didn’t remove their clothes at any point of changing into or out of their swimsuits. Now it turns out that they do, but under cover of towels and ponchos. Whatever.

It doesn’t mean everyone has to go to those lengths. Most people try to be as decent as they can about the process, but as evidenced by OPs story it’s hard to properly dry and dress without the occasional flash of skin.

Unless you wear a poncho of course 🙄

She is a woman, in a woman's changing room.
The boys were the ones in the wrong place, not her.

FYI I have unapologetically gotten my babs out to BF in all sorts of places. I have tried to be discreet to an extent, but they were still out....for more than 30 seconds.

You did nothing wrong and glad manager was supportive

she should have gone into the family area esp as boy was 9 !!!

its a changing area. People get changed and yes will be the odd boob or minge

I am entrigued about the tampax @BrieEncounter

did the lady pull it out /insert new one in front of you ?

lol maybe she wanted to have a go at someone that day and was cross about something else in her life.

unless you look like Pamela Anderson and were stood there flaunting your massive rack in the direction of their young boys?

she sounds cray cray or seriously stressed in her life to be having a go at someone like that.

Yes. You chose to expose yourself. 30 seconds is not momentarily and agree with the Mum. Clearly it wasn’t intended to cause offence but wasn’t right thing to do. If it had been a man with young girls he’d of been arrested.

OP was in the Ladies. A man would have no reason to be there, and a nine year old boy shouldn't have been either.

I was baffled by that too! I can just about get my head around inserting a clean one in public, but removing a used one? 🤮

Was quite tickled however by the two separate stories of ladies blow drying their pubes.

Regular swimmer and one who takes children...not a problem at all. That Mum is weird

Yanbu

Im a member at a similar club. There are family changing rooms provided, boys of 8 should not be in the ladies. Its not fair on the girls in there.

Ive complained regularly about people taking really quite large boys in the ladies simply because its got better hairdryers/vanity tables etc than family change.

My David Lloyd is like this! Shock horror, women have bodies!! And need to get changed in a CHANGING ROOM.

Most David Lloyds have private cubicles in the family room, she needs to take her pearls and clutch them in there and change her precious child, away from the sins of the flesh.

Oh and in david lloyd tons of women literally parade around totally naked in the ladies
No pants or bra stood drying hair for 5 mins etc!

We’ve been talking about adult women but it’s just occurred to me to think of young girls in the women’s changing room. Any girl around the age of that nine year old boy, or even older teenage girls, are likely to feel very uncomfortable with him seeing them get dressed. He could be at the same school etc. The more I think about it the more I think the boy should definitely not have been in the women’s changing room - the mum should have taken him to the family area or he should have changed in the men’s..

Or a European beach!

Then stop replying to me, commenting on my swimming pool changing area experience, and using eye rolling emojis. Talk about picking a fight.

Stripping off meant getting nude – whatever you thought it implied is your own problem.

Nowhere did I say everyone has to go to those lengths. I said there was nothing wrong with nudity and it was an individual choice.

That’s a good point

my 8yr dd is now getting to the stage she doesn’t like people seeing her undress / naked and in our female swim rooms we have had boys prob over 8 getting changed and tho they don’t stare they could

I always make sure we go in the corner so her bum is against a wall and hold a towel up covering her

You were 100% in the right OP. I’m at DL too, with an open changing room with only a couple of cubicles. Strict 7 year max age for boys in ladies changing rooms. Ladies in various stages of undress at all times, including starkers.

The batsh@t mum who complained must be a new member, with a completely ridiculous outlook. I wonder how she copes abroad at the beach!

Say what now??

You were not inappropriate at all. If they are so terrified of their young children seeing a bare breast they should have gone to the family changing room. They’d see way more on a beach in Europe.

It was years ago at a virgin active and it was putting one in rather than taking one out (thank god). But the lady was completely starkers, put her leg up on a bench, reached one hand down to ‘open herself up fully’ and then put it in before disposing of the wrapping.

It was one of those tumbleweed moments where a fairly busy changing room got quieter until it was stunned silence.

She didn’t seem to bat an eyelid. I had no issue with her being naked but I thought this was over the line!

She was weird. At the swimming pools I go to, it's just a "changing village" and there are regularly men, women and children naked in the showers.

Oh ffs, you were also replying to me, and you were the one using combative language and dropping childish digs about how much you don’t care what I think. Just leave it now. I just asked a question and you have tried your hardest to turn it into something else, so yes I did end up eye-rolling. I shan’t reply any more - you can find someone else to not care about.

yanbu she should go to the family room

You have to laugh. I can imagine the police would e the same as the manager. A man naked in the NENS changing room?!!

don't let this stupid woman make you feel self conscious, she doesn't need to hold her friends hand to get changed. But anyway, that's irrelevant as if there wasn't a family room the WOMENS changing rooms are for WOMEN to get changed. If people don't want their children to see women naked, they need to maid other arrangements! It's not even like you were swanning around butt naked during your hair, let alone blow drying your fanjo!!

ignore ignore ignore

She's nuts.

You were not unreasonable. You were getting changed as quickly and modestly as you could.

You could just as easily have complained about the woman not using the family space.