To have been half naked in front of other children?

[BrieEncounter]

I had an encounter yesterday that has made me question myself and whether what I did was inappropriate.

I regularly swim at my local health club and often go during my lunchtimes. With summer holidays there are lots of children there which is, of course, absolutely fine.

The club has separate changing areas: a large open room to one side for families with children (with baby change etc), a large female only changing area that also has at the back a section for ‘adults only’..and then the same for men’s.

I got changed in my usual spot which is in the female changing rooms, but not in the ‘adult only’ section.

When I returned from swimming there were a couple of women also in this area wrangling their children. The kids were all boys but very young: I’d say eldest was 8ish so not old enough to go into the men’s rooms
alone.

I didn’t think much of it and started to get changed after a shower. I’d got my shorts on under my towel and was putting my bra on. I dropped the towel but then realised the straps had loosened so I took it off, adjusted the straps and put it back on again. I had my bra off for maybe 30 seconds whilst doing this.

As I was putting my top on, one of the women started shouting at me and accusing me of flashing her children. That if I was going to be naked I should move to the ‘adults only’ section. I didn’t really know how to respond and pointed out this was a changing room and equally, she could have gone to the family room. She said the room was too small for her and her friend together and I was completely inappropriate.

She then rushed the kids out and said she’d be speaking to the manager on her way out.

There was no one else in this part of the changing rooms but several women (in various states of undress) popped their heads around the corner to see what the fuss was about. I was mortified so just got dressed and packed up as fast as I could.

When I left, I mentioned what had happened to the receptionist who said that someone had made a complaint about inappropriateness with young children in the changing room! She said they had flagged it to the manager who would be in tomorrow (now today) who will review it.

Im due to go at lunchtime and can’t quite believe it.

Was it unreasonable to have been (momentarily) topless in front of young children?

I’m at DL now and look forward to flapping my tits about after my workout 🤣🤣

Why are so many of the posters, including yourself, who are offended by naked breasts in a female communal changing room the ones who are using reductive and sexist terms such as tits and baps in their posts?

Weird how you elide a 30-second glimpse of boob with 'flamboyant minge dryers and bender-overs'.
And the phrase 'getting my tits out'.
It's funny, it's the YABU minority on here who seem to be using the prurient language and displaying the prurient attitude.

I do this so regularly at my gym I don’t even think twice about nudity as it is so fleeting and I would hope no one is looking! Just ridiculous that you can’t get changed in a changing room

Also the people queuing to bathroom or jumping around under a towel or trying to put on a bra with the t-shirt on are the ones drawing attention to themselves. The ones juat getting jn with it are usually more discreet. That being said, everyone do what is best for you.

Completely agree, there is a fair age gap between my eldest and youngest child, 7 years approximately.
I BF my youngest around his brothers and after the initial first few days they didn’t bat an eyelid, I fed the baby when they had friends over as I couldn’t let him starve for a day and wasn’t about to stop play dates. I was always discreet but they probably saw a flash of breast when swapping baby onto the other side etc.
When it came to life education classes for the eldest 12 months later (what we used to call sex education), his teacher sought me out specially to tell me how mature and sensible my eldest was, whilst the rest of the boys were in fits of giggles about breasts etc my child just sat there sensibly listening.
It’s important especially for our children to see ‘normal’ human bodies rather then the airbrushed versions.
I don’t strut around naked at home however all my boys know that breasts feed babies, that you get varicose veins because I’m always hiding mine (they tell me just to wear the shorts because no one cares) and that how I wake up is with crazy hair, bags and wrinkles, and they seem to be normal, non judgemental, confident and happy children.

I disagree. OP might not have children and I think any woman without kids should not have to think as a mother would. If I swam as a hobby your suggestion would definitely be in my mind as I do have children. However, there is no way on Earth I would have thought of that (or have known when Half Term was – I would not have been bothered) pre-children. I take the stance that - as the majority of posts have demonstrated - the mother who took offence has issues and she should be more self-aware rather than wanting the world to adapt to her. It should be the other way. Shouty Mum should have taken herself off to the Family Changing Room without her friend. She doesn't need a friend to change her boys.

I don't have children and I'm reasonably sure that I'm more likely to be in the adults only section than my friends who are mothers, even if they went without their children - but only for my comfort, not because I'd ever dream there was a problem with being a woman in any state of undress in a women's changing room, with or without children present!

I did once have teenage girls that I knew from my workplace, enter a communal changing room I was already in. I did disappear into a cubicle at that point, and not exit until they were clear (they were chatting loudly so it was easy to tell) because I have no wish to see or be seen by under 18 year old clients in any state of undress. 8 years I'd been using that flipping swimming pool without once having seen a single person that I knew!

Just off the subject a bit i would never, ever go into one of these mixed, or uni sex toilet areas. Simply not for me.

It’s not mixed sex. It’s the woman’s.

But it’s not mixed or unisex. It’s a women’s changing room.

@ElaineParrish

Has it escaped you that this was a female changing room? Boys should not have been in there (technically) in the first place.

@mbonfield it's a FEMALE changing room.

Lots of people already think of the tits, tbf.

Wow.

Is this what youngsters refer to as DARVO? "If you can't handle that others disagree..."

There was an adult area, and the mum and children were already there.
Do you honestly thing any normal man would go and stand directly infront of a dad and daughter and pull his towel down facing the daughter for 30 seconds whilst organising his clothes?

You were completely within your rights and reasonable. I get my kids changed for swimming lessons in the ladies changing room where there are frequently women of all ages getting changed without covering up. I think it’s healthy to normalise that. It’s not flashing, it’s getting changed and we’re not fucking Victorians anymore.

I went swimming every week with my dad. Went to the mens changing room until I was old enough to go alone to the women. I mean, nobody specifically walked to me and dropped their towel in front of my face. But yes, there were tons of men naked changing. If their locker was across from our lockers, then they would be naked right in front. It is a changing room, they were changing in an appropriate location.

As has been said before, the adult area doesn’t exist because it’s compulsory for adults to go there. It’s more of a “no children allowed” area for people who want peace and quiet.

Adult women are also allowed to use the main women’s changing room, whether or not someone else chooses to take their children in there too.

@ilovepuppies2019

There.was.a.family.room.available.

The boys shouldnt have been there in the female changing room in the first place.

My 12 year old is going through puberty. She is FEMALE. We go to the FEMALE changing room. Why should she have to hide herself because someone else has brought in an 8/9 year old MALE into the FEMALE changing room?

I think you tagged the wrong person. I fully, fully agreed with you!

@ilovepuppies2019

I am so so sorry!!!! I did tag the wrong person. So sorry! Please accept some internet flowers to apologise for my misplaced indignation.

💐

This is madness. Nudity in a communal changing room is totally fine. YANBU at all.

This message was in fact for @SpringSpruce