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Original poster

To have been half naked in front of other children?

672 replies

BrieEncounter · 20/08/2025 10:29

I had an encounter yesterday that has made me question myself and whether what I did was inappropriate.

I regularly swim at my local health club and often go during my lunchtimes. With summer holidays there are lots of children there which is, of course, absolutely fine.

The club has separate changing areas: a large open room to one side for families with children (with baby change etc), a large female only changing area that also has at the back a section for ‘adults only’..and then the same for men’s.

I got changed in my usual spot which is in the female changing rooms, but not in the ‘adult only’ section.

When I returned from swimming there were a couple of women also in this area wrangling their children. The kids were all boys but very young: I’d say eldest was 8ish so not old enough to go into the men’s rooms
alone.

I didn’t think much of it and started to get changed after a shower. I’d got my shorts on under my towel and was putting my bra on. I dropped the towel but then realised the straps had loosened so I took it off, adjusted the straps and put it back on again. I had my bra off for maybe 30 seconds whilst doing this.

As I was putting my top on, one of the women started shouting at me and accusing me of flashing her children. That if I was going to be naked I should move to the ‘adults only’ section. I didn’t really know how to respond and pointed out this was a changing room and equally, she could have gone to the family room. She said the room was too small for her and her friend together and I was completely inappropriate.

She then rushed the kids out and said she’d be speaking to the manager on her way out.

There was no one else in this part of the changing rooms but several women (in various states of undress) popped their heads around the corner to see what the fuss was about. I was mortified so just got dressed and packed up as fast as I could.

When I left, I mentioned what had happened to the receptionist who said that someone had made a complaint about inappropriateness with young children in the changing room! She said they had flagged it to the manager who would be in tomorrow (now today) who will review it.

Im due to go at lunchtime and can’t quite believe it.

Was it unreasonable to have been (momentarily) topless in front of young children?

OP posts:
adlitem · 20/08/2025 10:43

Noone who objects to the OP's actions go to a public swimming pool in Denmark, you will be scarred for life 😂

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 20/08/2025 10:44

Presumably, if any complaint is upheld against you, they can point to the clause in their terms and conditions that says female nudity is not allowed in the female changing rooms. Is there such a clause? I’m not a member of DL so wouldn’t know but if there isn’t, I’m not sure how they can uphold any complaint. Also, is there an age limit on children of the opposite sex being in the main changing area?

IdontgiveaFork · 20/08/2025 10:45

She should have used the family room . I wonder if she was jealous because you have a good body ? You did nothing wrong .

SwirlingSea · 20/08/2025 10:45

I may be a prude but I wouldn’t like my dc to be in this situation so I would use the family changing rooms.
I don’t think you did anything wrong.

AstonUniversityPotholeDepartment · 20/08/2025 10:46

I would read "adults only" as being a retreat for adults seeking refuge from other people's children. I would not read it as being compulsory for you to use!

People get changed in open plan changing rooms. It was her decision to choose that area for the convenience of the space.

RedstripeAlias · 20/08/2025 10:48

What?! She's batshit, Seeing real women's bodies in changing rooms is a part of growing up and a good lesson in how we all look nothing like the airbrushed images they grow up with.

Mrsplants · 20/08/2025 10:48

It’s a changing room, people get changed! I think she is being silly.

didgeridid · 20/08/2025 10:48

I personally would go in a cubical (with or without the kids) but if happened to be in a communal changing room and so a bum or boobs I wouldn't think twice.

WaffleParty · 20/08/2025 10:49

Crikey! She’s insane.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 20/08/2025 10:49

AstonUniversityPotholeDepartment · 20/08/2025 10:46

I would read "adults only" as being a retreat for adults seeking refuge from other people's children. I would not read it as being compulsory for you to use!

People get changed in open plan changing rooms. It was her decision to choose that area for the convenience of the space.

Exactly, if it were compulsory for people to get changed in private there wouldn't be any open plan changing areas at all.

pinkpony88 · 20/08/2025 10:50

This is utterly bizarre! I strip off in our swimming changing rooms whether there are children there or not. I’m not “flashing” anyone. I’m just getting changed in a normal manner. If anyone commented about it I would tell them they should be in family changing. I doubt anyone of any age is giving me a second glance!

Blarn · 20/08/2025 10:50

I also don't see anything wrong with what you did. It's been a while since I was in a shared changing room with a pool kids could use but women would use it to get dressed and undressed, sometimes naked. It's what you expect in a changing room.

And yes, adults area as no children allowed. General area just for adults and children.

QueenOfHiraeth · 20/08/2025 10:51

I'm on the fence here but I am an old prude.
I think, as it is half term and the children were there before you, you should have thought on and gone to adults only.
Equally, she should have taken her children to the family section if she is concerned about them seeing undressed women and shouldn't have been confrontational
Six of one, half a dozen of the other...

Kateb12 · 20/08/2025 10:51

You done nothing wrong.

you should of played the uni reverse card though and complained about her staring and watching you get changed.

CracklingFlames · 20/08/2025 10:52

You were fine. She was insane. Don't worry.

DarklingIlisten · 20/08/2025 10:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

HelloHellNo · 20/08/2025 10:53

If she doesnt want her kids to see naked people then she needs to get them ready in a family cubical.

ARichtGoodDram · 20/08/2025 10:54

If she didn't want to risk seeing females changing then she should have used the family changing rooms

Ludicrous to expect that her wish to be wish her friend should mean others can't get changed in the changing room

P0rnstarmartini · 20/08/2025 10:54

AMillionTomorrows · 20/08/2025 10:31

No you’re fine. If she didn’t want her son seeing boobs for two seconds she should go to the family changing room or take up golf.

This.

She sounds crazy. You did nothing wrong. Imagine going to a changing room where women undress…and being suprised when you see a woman undressing

Moonnstars · 20/08/2025 10:54

YANBU. It's a changing room! She could have gone to the family room, she chose not to. Her and her friend could have taken turns using this room if not big enough for them both.

Comedycook · 20/08/2025 10:54

We've just come back from Spain....there were topless women on the beach in front of children....the world did not end.

CrispySquid · 20/08/2025 10:54

Ridiculous overreaction by the lady. I’d be really angry if I were you. When I was a little girl and getting changed to go swimming with my Mum, I’d always see grown women fully naked having showers or getting changed in the changing rooms of the swimming pool. Completely naked. Thats literally what showers and changing rooms are for. You were in the women’s changing room CHANGING. You’ve done nothing wrong. If the lady is offended at the sight of a female part, she should have taken her children into a private cubicle.

ScaryM0nster · 20/08/2025 10:55

Definitely not unreasonable.

You would have been if you’d complained the kids were disturbing you - as that’s what the adult zone is for and the general is general.

For people, changing. Which involves taking clothes off.

Complaints have to be dealt with by an appropriate member of staff. That’s generally not the receptionist. You generally have to be higher up the pay scale to decide to not do anything when one of your paying customers complains.

YourBrickTiger · 20/08/2025 10:55

BrieEncounter · 20/08/2025 10:29

I had an encounter yesterday that has made me question myself and whether what I did was inappropriate.

I regularly swim at my local health club and often go during my lunchtimes. With summer holidays there are lots of children there which is, of course, absolutely fine.

The club has separate changing areas: a large open room to one side for families with children (with baby change etc), a large female only changing area that also has at the back a section for ‘adults only’..and then the same for men’s.

I got changed in my usual spot which is in the female changing rooms, but not in the ‘adult only’ section.

When I returned from swimming there were a couple of women also in this area wrangling their children. The kids were all boys but very young: I’d say eldest was 8ish so not old enough to go into the men’s rooms
alone.

I didn’t think much of it and started to get changed after a shower. I’d got my shorts on under my towel and was putting my bra on. I dropped the towel but then realised the straps had loosened so I took it off, adjusted the straps and put it back on again. I had my bra off for maybe 30 seconds whilst doing this.

As I was putting my top on, one of the women started shouting at me and accusing me of flashing her children. That if I was going to be naked I should move to the ‘adults only’ section. I didn’t really know how to respond and pointed out this was a changing room and equally, she could have gone to the family room. She said the room was too small for her and her friend together and I was completely inappropriate.

She then rushed the kids out and said she’d be speaking to the manager on her way out.

There was no one else in this part of the changing rooms but several women (in various states of undress) popped their heads around the corner to see what the fuss was about. I was mortified so just got dressed and packed up as fast as I could.

When I left, I mentioned what had happened to the receptionist who said that someone had made a complaint about inappropriateness with young children in the changing room! She said they had flagged it to the manager who would be in tomorrow (now today) who will review it.

Im due to go at lunchtime and can’t quite believe it.

Was it unreasonable to have been (momentarily) topless in front of young children?

People like this make me angry. What do they think their children fed on? What do they think their children are going to see as they get older? I HATE this sheltered way of parenting. Of course you wouldn't want a grown man walking about showing his willy and public areas are off limits in general but a set of breasts is just the human body and their specific purpose is to feed a baby.

Littleredgoat · 20/08/2025 10:56

Find it very odd that she wants a space big enough to get changed with her friend. Getting changed isn't a group activity.