To have been half naked in front of other children?

[BrieEncounter]

I had an encounter yesterday that has made me question myself and whether what I did was inappropriate.

I regularly swim at my local health club and often go during my lunchtimes. With summer holidays there are lots of children there which is, of course, absolutely fine.

The club has separate changing areas: a large open room to one side for families with children (with baby change etc), a large female only changing area that also has at the back a section for ‘adults only’..and then the same for men’s.

I got changed in my usual spot which is in the female changing rooms, but not in the ‘adult only’ section.

When I returned from swimming there were a couple of women also in this area wrangling their children. The kids were all boys but very young: I’d say eldest was 8ish so not old enough to go into the men’s rooms
alone.

I didn’t think much of it and started to get changed after a shower. I’d got my shorts on under my towel and was putting my bra on. I dropped the towel but then realised the straps had loosened so I took it off, adjusted the straps and put it back on again. I had my bra off for maybe 30 seconds whilst doing this.

As I was putting my top on, one of the women started shouting at me and accusing me of flashing her children. That if I was going to be naked I should move to the ‘adults only’ section. I didn’t really know how to respond and pointed out this was a changing room and equally, she could have gone to the family room. She said the room was too small for her and her friend together and I was completely inappropriate.

She then rushed the kids out and said she’d be speaking to the manager on her way out.

There was no one else in this part of the changing rooms but several women (in various states of undress) popped their heads around the corner to see what the fuss was about. I was mortified so just got dressed and packed up as fast as I could.

When I left, I mentioned what had happened to the receptionist who said that someone had made a complaint about inappropriateness with young children in the changing room! She said they had flagged it to the manager who would be in tomorrow (now today) who will review it.

Im due to go at lunchtime and can’t quite believe it.

Was it unreasonable to have been (momentarily) topless in front of young children?

@JustSawJohnny I'd be wary of getting my tits out in front of 8 year old boys, to be honest.

Do you have any evidence that boys are harmed whenever they see tits?

Or even one case study of a boy being harmed because he saw tits?

Always find it funny how offensive people find nakedness. Half the population has tits (possibly more 😂).

You did nothing wrong OP, unless you were maintaining eye contact and jiggling in which case maybe she was right to inform management 😉

I'm a single mum of boys. Any tit flashing is deliberate.

Are you for real @shuggles ? If thats the case he shoudlnt be in a FEMALE changing room

It is a changing room. You were getting changed, absolutely nothing unreasonable about that!

Female changing rooms are for the privacy of women, not men.

There is no evidence that boys or men are harmed whenever they see nude women.

I have been using gym changing rooms for yers and this is ridiculous . The woman is totally unreasonable and I am horrified by what she said to you. I have Going from dressed to naked to dressed is the the norm isnt it ??
After all it is a "Changing Room" !

@shuggles , what is your point exactly? I, for one, have no issue with both boys and girls in women's changing rooms, but you would expect to see naked women like me in there when changing and showering. You are the one who seems to think it's unreasonable to think women can be naked in front of other children. My lot have never had a problem with being or seen nude in changing rooms when with me

She's bat shit.

My 5 year old son for some reason thinks my boobs are called "uncles".

He has absolutely no concept why I have them and what their purpose is.

All he knows is that I have a strange thing attached to my body.

Oh come on. Are you saying you wrap your towel around your dripping wet body and then pull your clothes on underneath the towel? Without at any point actually drying yourself? You then walk home still wet in your now wet clothes? All so that no-one gets an accidental glimpse of your skin?

Rather you than me. I’d rather use the towel to actually dry myself properly, then put my clothes onto a dry body.

I'm with you! I have girls, but I absolutely know that my 8 year old looks at bodies so differently to my 4 year old. My 4 year old would be fine getting undressed with any gender and not really caring. My 8 year old is curious - and not at all sexually - but she is aware we all have different body parts... and if the tables were turned and my husband took her swimming, I would think it would be sensible that he took her to a cubicle to save the embarrassment of the other blokes when she starts asking her 100 questions about biology!

Also, the woman says changing is private etc, but surely if she's getting undressed with her mate, that is no different?! Can't make 1 rule for you and 1 for everyone else!

Please see my previous post:

"There is no evidence that boys or men are harmed whenever they see nude women."

Just crazy how this woman carried on about another woman quietly getting changed in a communal changing room at a swim centre. I wonder if you will see this woman again, OP. Hopefully not.

Yep manage to dry myself and get changed fine. Never gone home wet or in wet clothes. I also have one of those hooded poncho towels that I sometimes use, which is quite good for that sort of thing.

You don’t need to be annoyed that someone does something different to you and that you can’t comprehend it.

I’m not annoyed. You were the one making out that no-one ever stripped off in the changing room at your gym, and I was wondering how that could be true. I still do - I highly doubt everyone else is going to the lengths you describe of dressing under towels and hooded ponchos.

I cannot explain how much this just made me laugh. Wheezing.

That's nice but not relevant to the OP, who uses a gym where there aren't cubicles.

Our 8 year old (who is cognitively around 3) has recently developed the habit of honking mine.

I mean. Imagine. That’s a whole different kind of changing room problem.

She was in the wrong. 8 is too old to be in the general area. She should have taken them to the family area. She also brought more attention to you and they definitely noticed now. I would complain back that she brought boys into the women's changing room and not the family area.

I’ve never seen anyone nude or partially nude in the changing area. I go every weekend. Believe me or don’t – it doesn’t bother me. See lots of people changing under towels. Same as at the beach. Again, don’t care if you appear to have an issue with it.

Yes. You chose to expose yourself. 30 seconds is not momentarily and agree with the Mum. Clearly it wasn’t intended to cause offence but wasn’t right thing to do. If it had been a man with young girls he’d of been arrested.

The female changing room to protect women, not men, or boys

She'll have an absolute aneurysm if she ever takes those kids swimming in Germany or Scandinavia 😂

Agreed! My husband is German and we have no issue with it at all! The english way is so differnet and silly