To have been half naked in front of other children?

[BrieEncounter]

I had an encounter yesterday that has made me question myself and whether what I did was inappropriate.

I regularly swim at my local health club and often go during my lunchtimes. With summer holidays there are lots of children there which is, of course, absolutely fine.

The club has separate changing areas: a large open room to one side for families with children (with baby change etc), a large female only changing area that also has at the back a section for ‘adults only’..and then the same for men’s.

I got changed in my usual spot which is in the female changing rooms, but not in the ‘adult only’ section.

When I returned from swimming there were a couple of women also in this area wrangling their children. The kids were all boys but very young: I’d say eldest was 8ish so not old enough to go into the men’s rooms
alone.

I didn’t think much of it and started to get changed after a shower. I’d got my shorts on under my towel and was putting my bra on. I dropped the towel but then realised the straps had loosened so I took it off, adjusted the straps and put it back on again. I had my bra off for maybe 30 seconds whilst doing this.

As I was putting my top on, one of the women started shouting at me and accusing me of flashing her children. That if I was going to be naked I should move to the ‘adults only’ section. I didn’t really know how to respond and pointed out this was a changing room and equally, she could have gone to the family room. She said the room was too small for her and her friend together and I was completely inappropriate.

She then rushed the kids out and said she’d be speaking to the manager on her way out.

There was no one else in this part of the changing rooms but several women (in various states of undress) popped their heads around the corner to see what the fuss was about. I was mortified so just got dressed and packed up as fast as I could.

When I left, I mentioned what had happened to the receptionist who said that someone had made a complaint about inappropriateness with young children in the changing room! She said they had flagged it to the manager who would be in tomorrow (now today) who will review it.

Im due to go at lunchtime and can’t quite believe it.

Was it unreasonable to have been (momentarily) topless in front of young children?

She took the kids on the female changing area…….what did she expect? You can’t get changed without taking one piece of clothing off and another on

Its you that turning it into something dirty/pervy. It's a changing room. People need to get dreessed. It's just a body. It's how you're perceiving it that is the problem.

But if the mum had an issue with other people getting changed and the kids seeing naked bodies she should have taken them to a cubicle or even the family area.

The. Family. Room. Didn't. Have. Space.
The adult area did
And even if it didn't there's no need to face them topless for half a minute...

a) wouldn't say it was "much more difficult" personally
b) in the actual comment I was replying to she said "I’m also intrigued how anyone can get changed to go swimming and NOT strip off?
i.e. I was responding to the specific question she'd asked, which was about changing before swimming.

I cannot take you seriously with that username 😂

Another case of criminalising women's bodies. It's some tits and nips. As long as it's socially acceptable for men to have their chests out, women should have the same right. #freethenipple

@SpringSpruce

Love how you ignored that the boys shouldnt even have been in there.

Are you the boy mum?

So are you going to blindfold children when people are topless on beaches?

There are beaches in France and south east European countries where there will be a proliferation of breasts on view. You can also sunbathe topless in Paris and New York parks. Those participating include mums with children.

Open plan changing areas are common place. They are single sex. They are for undressing and dressing in. To put on or take off a swimming costume you need to remove bra and knickers. This is why it is important for males (including those who identify as women!) are precluded from female space.

The family room just didn’t have space for her and her friend to get changed together. It is not anyone else’s problem if two adult women in charge of children cannot handle getting changed without each other there to hold hands or give moral support or whatever it is that the problem was.

The family room only didn’t have space for her friend to come in too. If she didn’t want to expose her precious children to the sight of women getting undressed she could have taken them in there without her friend.

You still seem to be missing the point that it is a women’s changing room, and women shouldn’t be shamed for using it as intended. If parents choose to take children in there they are doing so with full knowledge that said children might see women changing.

OP also wasn’t deliberately flashing them so you need to stop implying she did. She was actually taking extreme care to dress discretely (which people don’t normally do in a gym changing room), but accidentally had a slip when adjusting her bra.

Also worth bearing in mind that this isn’t a leisure centre or centre parcs, it’s not designed primarily for children. It’s a gym, a primarily adult space. If you take your kids there on some summer holiday offer or whatever you should fit around the existing members not expect everyone to change their usual behaviours for you.

Just to chime back in and say woman’s friend didn’t seem to have an issue at all and looked a little embarrassed. As others have said, as she was the one with the problem she could have untethered from her friend and taken her children into the family room. But the point remains she shouldn’t have been there in the first place (although I’m sure this will continue to be ignored by said poster)

I popped back on as I saw her and her kids again today. They were walking from the FAMILY changing rooms to poolside. You have to skim passed the ladies showers to get there and I nearly shouted a warning to all the women showering but held myself (they all have cubicles anyway). Today I clocked 3 women stark naked air drying or moisturising and I dread to think what complaint would have been raised

There were 5 children... I highly doubt they were all one of the woman's children

Sorry, I don't get your point.

Then wait until there is space- simple 🤷‍♀️ .. the boy was 9, 1 year older than the allowed age in this area. It’s the other mums fault completely.

I thought if this thread today when I walked into the female changing rooms at DL to be faced with a completely naked woman! Good luck to her, some people just find it easier to get dry and dressed without trying to hide underneath a towel.

I came back from my shower to find a family changing beside my locker so I had to dry and dress on the bench seating in the middle of the room. I don’t care enough to try and hide but did wonder what the expectation would be from the MN collective. Whichever way I turned I would be facing someone, and yes, there were babies and children there too.

I find the pearl clutching on this thread quite extraordinary and it’s very clear a lot are commenting about the adults only area without any clue what DL changing rooms are like! The adults only area in our gym is tiny and it definitely the case that the rest of the large changing area is for families only!

There's no need for a nine year old boy to be in the women's changing rooms for even half a minute.

What's the big deal with a naked body in the changing room in any case?? It's where people get changed. No big deal. Are we living in Victorian times?

@SpringSpruce

Are you being deliberately obtuse? Or are you the woman? What you are saying makes no sense at all.

If there was no space for 5 children in the family changing room then it is obvious that they take turns and change one family at a time.

Are you saying the friends are Siamese twins or something that they can't possibly be separated for a few minutes at time. How do you think they go to the toilet in a café? Must the whole place be evacuated so they can have all the cubicles to themselves?

Also, you still won't address the fact that they brought BOYS into a FEMALE changing room. Why won't you answer about bring 8/9 year old boys into a female changing room and then expecting ALL the other FEMALE users to be mindful of these poor children who should not even be in there?

Who should be more careful to be mindful or accommodating - the mother of the boys who should not even been there or the women who actually are in their designated space?

The audacity to then make a complaint. Mind boggles.

At this point you are either the unhinged mother or just a goady so and so or a rage bait Bot.

Edited for typos / poor punctuation

She’s being ridiculous. Dh did complain when he took dtds swimming when they were about 4 and men were going naked press ups and lunges in the changing room. The manager rolled his eyes (at the ego fuelled men) and just said to dh that he can use the private disabled changing room as no members used it during children’s lesson time. He apologised for not challenging the men but didn’t think it would go well and as dh was the only dad bringing children to their lessons he’d rather go for the easier option. Getting changed in a changing room is normal. Maybe the mum needs to teach her dc not to state when people are getting changed.

Not your problem. She should have gone in the family changing room

This makes the woman even more ludicrous!!!
Silly bitch!