Has anyone offered to give up their seat on public transport just for being a woman?

[Spookygoose]

Was just watching this video clip of a debate about chivalry & feminism. Some guy said that he shouldn’t feel the need to give up his seat on a train for a woman, not a pregnant or elderly woman, just any woman. The other people acknowledged what he said as if this was an actual thing. Have you ever heard of this? Is it, or has it been in the last 20 years the expectation that a ‘gentleman’ should give up his seat if a woman is standing?? I have never heard of this in my life and would be seriously offended if a man ever tried to give up his seat for me just for being female!

On the other hand women tend to be lighter than men so need less strength to hold on. Plus their wider hips would offer more stability.

I do have a visible disability, which makes standing up on trains and buses painful, but I doubt most people recognise it as such. However, when I travel occasionally in or out of London, a young man usually offers me a seat. I am very grateful!

I would always offer a pregnant woman, elderly or disabled person my seat.

Yeah I've had this happen loads and normally politely decline. I'm in Yorkshire though and there are still a lot of gentleman here (of all ages).

But what are the reasons that this niceity is extended to women and not men? Or does you DP also offer his seat to men? I do agree it's nice to be nice but the history and context of this actually mean some woman could find this weird, awkward or even insulting. That's not nice.

I wouldn't expect to be offered a seat on the bus and would be dismayed if there was a lot of social pressure to do so. But I have problems with my balance and am very appreciative when someone does offer. Even before my problems worsened, I'd either accept, or decline as gently as possible; people (especially young ones who will inherit the world after older generations have gone) shouldn't be deterred from making kind gestures. Anything they can do to make the planet a nicer, more human place to live should be encouraged.

As a Londoner now living in the north of England... no, this really isn't any more of a thing in the north than it is in London (unless you look pregnant).

I use public transport in a northern city every day and it was very rare that anyone even gave up their seat for me when I was on crutches, let alone simply for being a woman.

I'm not saying nobody ever gives up a seat for a woman ever, but it's not a regional thing.

Maybe it was just the area I was in a couple of weeks back, I am a little older but the men were older than me

But he does offer his seat to men as well. The blind man was an extreme but if he felt someone was more needing of his seat he would stand up, as would i.

I have also witnessed my DS & DD do similar.

Does there really have to be a reason for being nice?

Can the reason be just to try and make someones journey just a little bit more comfortable? Why does anyone have to justify being nice to someone else?

I think men should stand for a woman.

I don't think equality and chivalry are mutually exclusive.

We're also a long way from equality.

A young man gave me his seat on the Tube recently. Most appreciated.
I also appreciate having the door held for me - especially by someone who says 'no rush' when I start quickening my steps ☺️.

Older men have done this for me on trains. I thought it was really sweet and kind but not at all necessary. Both were Asian men, not sure if that’s relevant.
Have also been on the tube 9 months pregnant and no one get up.

Ha! When I was about 30 I was standing on a crowded tube, and a younger blonde woman got on behind me. A man sitting down peered around me to offer her his seat (she accepted). Yes, I am also a woman…

I'm just grateful for a seat and don't give a toss why it was offered. Hidden disabilities suck.

I have been offered a seat (I’m in my 50’s and if anything look younger)by young lads, 17/18/19 sort of age, I refused the first time then it’s happened again and i accepted, the lad last time said his grandfather had impressed upon him that he should give up his seat to adults older than him, his grandfather had since died but he hears his words whenever he’s on public transport, how lovely!

Would you rather hard working/tired/elderly/pregnant women etc etc get "squashed". I hate to see children in seats when there are adults having to stand.

Awful on buses too. Small children sitting looking at their phones when adults come on to the bus. Dreadful parenting.

Not exactly offered. On the underground, when the doors opened a man pushed his way in and practically dived into the last available seat in that section. I stood next to him, with my suitcase. He then got up and went elsewhere. I took the seat. 🙂

Years ago, in my twenties, I was on a train from London to Bristol after a job interview. I was very tired and the train was packed, so much so that I ended up standing in first class. I got talking to an older man was sitting down and told him about the interview. Another older man sitting nearby chipped in on the conversation and offered me his seat. The first man then offered me his seat and it became a bit of competition between them as to whose seat I'd sit in. I think the first man was a bit put out that the second man had trumped him and made him appear rude by not offering in the first place. I didn't know what to do - I'm not from England and wasn't used to travelling on trains so I didn't know if I could sit in first class without a first class ticket. I didn't know whose offer to accept for fear of offending one of them. In the end I just chose a seat and sat in it and it was all very awkward. I wasn't so keen on being offered seats after that!

Ffs. It’s called being nice

Dont agree. Im 63 commute in London 3 days a week and often get offered a seat.

If someone offered me their seat I’d likely say no.

I have found though that on an incredibly busy train into London, my 72 year old dad and I were the only ones who stood up in an entire first class carriage for a very, very heavily pregnant lady and her toddler. The rest of the carriage was taken up by men in suits who kept muttering about paying for the seats.

Yes, I get offered a seat on the train from men fairly regularly (I travel to work by train). I’m a healthy looking woman, early 40s live in the SE. I always say no thank you.

As for offering seats/being offered in general - I appreciated being offered a seat when I was pregnant, which happened fairly regularly, from men and women, but other than that I don't mind if I have to stand. On short public transport journeys I tend to stand unless there are loads of seats - I don't need to sit so I'd rather someone else had a spot. On longer train journeys I book a seat if I can.

Then that is the reason - he does it if he believes someone is more needing of it. That's really nice. But this thread is about offering a seat to a woman purely because they are a woman. That doesn't make them more needing of it.

I think it's lovely when people offer seats. I offer whoever if they look like they need a seat. Wouldn't stand up for a child (unless special circumstances)