Has anyone offered to give up their seat on public transport just for being a woman?

[Spookygoose]

Was just watching this video clip of a debate about chivalry & feminism. Some guy said that he shouldn’t feel the need to give up his seat on a train for a woman, not a pregnant or elderly woman, just any woman. The other people acknowledged what he said as if this was an actual thing. Have you ever heard of this? Is it, or has it been in the last 20 years the expectation that a ‘gentleman’ should give up his seat if a woman is standing?? I have never heard of this in my life and would be seriously offended if a man ever tried to give up his seat for me just for being female!

No, I think it probably died out around the 1960s or 70s.

But even back then, a lot of elderly gentlemen would still give up their seat for a woman as that's just the way they'd been raised.

My dad is 81. Every time he comes to London he does it in the tube.

Yes I had this before.

Once upon a time, it would have been - alongside other etiquette points such as men standing up when a woman enters the room, and if men are at a table with a woman, standing up whenever she does. 'Ladies first' is a still-surviving piece of this etiquette. It probably still survives in its entirety in 'posh' circles.

No, I would not expect to be offered a seat just for being female.

I find it happens when I use public transport in the north of England - Londoners on the tube tend to just think of number one

My partner would happily give his seat for a woman. He once stood for 2 hours on a packed train to Edinburgh for this reason. Did similar for an older gentleman who was stood in a carriage once. Turned out he was also blind and his female partner was stood trying to keep him steady whilst everyone ignored them. I jumped up too to let his partner sit with him too.

Its nice to be nice sometimes.

Not unless all men present were time-travelling from an earlier era. I was routinely offered a tube seat when on crutches, visibly pregnant and when I had a small child in a carrier, not otherwise. Which is how it should be.

I used to do this. I just thought it was good manners, but about twenty years ago it started to cause offence.

Only time I've ever been offered a seat was when I had my baby/toddler in a sling.

I was offered seats all the time when I was much younger, I always declined unless there was a reason not to. When I was pregnant only women offered me their seat - in fact men were quite obvious in pretending not to see and shoving past me. I would offer a pregnant or elderly woman a seat myself. I think it's a reasonable expectation in society.

I was on the tube earlier this month, a very kind man offered me his seat. I declined politely as he wore an ambulance uniform and looked exhausted.

If I see someone who looks like they're finding it difficult to stand then I'll offer my seat. I wouldn't automatically offer solely because they're a woman.

I love a gentleman. I would love if someone stood up for me and offered me their seat.

I'm 52 and have only been offered a seat once in my life. Heavily pregnant on the Tube (by a teenage girl)

I’m going to buck the trend and say we should on a case by case basis offer women seats.

Assuming a man isn’t physically tired from a manual job, Joe Average is stronger than Jane Average.

As a 55yr old woman, it takes significant effort involving bracing myself and leaning back to open some shop doors. I miss the days when men would do it. Effortlessly. I have asked my DSs to do so. They were unaware of the effort required.

I offer my seat to anyone that looks like they might need it, regardless of sex.

If someone offers me a seat I usually refuse politely but it doesn’t happen much.

What reason does your partner give for giving up his seat for a young/middle-aged, able-bodied woman though? The reason is obvious for the elderly blind man, I would give up my seat for him too, but a younger woman with no disabilities has no reason to need a seat anymore than a man does. I often get offered a seat when I’m travelling with my 4 yo, by both men and women and it’s nice, I appreciate it cos she gets tired standing for a long time, but I’d be perplexed if I was alone and got offered a seat (and probably offended cos I would assume they thought I was pregnant 😂)

Took 5 year old dd to London. On a full tube, everyone else over 18 and 5 feet tall were happy to let a small child get squashed on the tube.. another reason to add to the “ why I hate London” list

No, never happened to me, unless I was pregnant.
Not that I'd expect it to happen.
I'd offer my seat for a parent with a small child or elderly person, it was what we were taught.

Yes, but I’m short and often struggle to reach the hangy on things so it’s more pity for being a short arse than being female I think!

It used to be considered polite for a man to hold a door open for a woman, to offer his seat to a woman and for men to stand when a woman entered or left a room. If you watch Downton Abbey you'll see the men standing as the women enter a room etc. Even in Pretty Woman the Richard Gere character stands when Julia Roberts gets up from the dinner table.

As an old gimmer I think it is nice to be offered a seat or have a door held open. Agree with pp that doors can be heavy and I do think a little badly if men who let those close in my face.

It's all very old fashioned but a little bit of courtesy does oil the wheels and make the world a more pleasant place to be

My Dad is 76 and would voluntarily give up his seat for a lady. I definitely don't expect that behaviour for guys of my gneration and younger though (40s).

I'm 55 and live in Belfast and I've started getting offers of seats on buses - a couple of times I think because I had lots of bags, but a few other times by young people for being old!

If it's a young person offering I graciously accept, as they probably think I'm about 75.

I do offer myself for pregnant women, older people, people with small kids who'd find it hard to stand on a crowded bus etc

I’m sometimes offered seats by men of a similar age or older than me, never by younger men, occasionally by younger women. I don’t expect it though I won’t say I’m not grateful.

Same for me in London. I'm nearly 60 and I do now quite often get offered a seat - usually by young builders who presumably think I'm about to die. I'll say yes or no depending upon how close to death I feel at that moment.

I will usually give up my seat to anyone who needs it more.

I used to get quite irritated when people offered me an arm to get on and off buses etc. I'm pleased that that has died out.