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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that, under the threat of "Let the war begin", there should be specific laws against male's entering female private spaces (and vice versa)

1000 replies

SingleSexSpacesInSchools · 08/08/2025 14:46

After being told they will not be allowed to enter female toilets, changing rooms, clubs and other private sexed spaces, men have vowed to "fight" or be arrested “multiple times

https://archive.ph/tdkd0

"Let the war begin. Fingers crossed. You need to fight for all of us globally. It’s a war."

I think it is reasonable to have a specific crime for this sort of violation of rights and privacy, rather than Outraging public decency, Voyeurism, Exposure/ indecent exposure.

It seems clear that without firm dealing with, men are going to violate these spaces again and again.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
DeanElderberry · 10/08/2025 14:13

I have no problem with some men having a profound feeling of alienation from what they believe (rightly or wrongly) to be the expectations put on men in the society they live in. They label that 'trans', it is innate. They think it is irreversible.

All fine so far.

They like to dress and present in a way different from other men, even like to change their names.

Again, fine.

They are 'trans'. They are not and never can be female. They are not and never can be women.

So they need to learn that in the times and places when the sexes need to be separated, for the safety and dignity of women and men, they belong to the sex category 'men and transwomen'.

Or let's just accept that 'trans' is a normal and ordinary part of the spectrum of being a man, just as heterosexuality and homosexuality are normal, or right and left handedness, and just call them 'men', and let them dress and present as they see fit.

And leave it at that. No special rules, no special drugs, certainly no subsidised cosmetic surgery. Accept them for who they are.

Equal rights

Equal responsibilities.

SingleSexSpacesInSchools · 10/08/2025 14:13

Tandora · 10/08/2025 14:10

I’m not I’m on my phone which is precisely why a line by line/ lengthy response is hard to execute.

I would love to change my mind. I am sure some people here are open to changing their given the right evidence

If I believed for a nanosecond that this might be true I would certainly take the time. As I have done so so often on mumsnet. Unfortunately I’m a ruthless empiricist and despite my desperate desire to believe this is possible, there is virtually no evidence of it whatsoever. Occasionally there has been maybe one poster on one of these threads out of 100s where the needle has maybe moved very slightly. Other times there have been moments where I thought there had been a productive exchange and some shared understanding reached, only for the same poster to revert back to really personal insults a few posts later. That’s the most disheartening. maybe you’ll be the exception but your username and posting history on this thread suggests otherwise.

Make me the exception. Prove to me how strong your position is and how well it is reasoned and argued. I swear on my Childs life that I can change my position on the most strongly held pieces of opinion. I greatly enjoy changing my own opinions and ID.

Love to see point by point responses, take as much time as you need to get it right.

OP posts:
NeverOneBiscuit · 10/08/2025 14:15

‘I’m a ruthless empiricist’

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Thank you for that, I actually laughed out loud.

I see we’re also playing the be nice card. Oh so carefully constructed answers with a veneer of just listen to kind teacher. Your tone is fooling nobody. Making utterly dismissive remarks about women’s rights to female only spaces is disgusting, however nicely you think you’re dressing it up.

Tandora · 10/08/2025 14:16

SingleSexSpacesInSchools · 10/08/2025 14:13

Make me the exception. Prove to me how strong your position is and how well it is reasoned and argued. I swear on my Childs life that I can change my position on the most strongly held pieces of opinion. I greatly enjoy changing my own opinions and ID.

Love to see point by point responses, take as much time as you need to get it right.

❤️
Ive saved your post and will give you that reply when I’m at my computer later today. I need my computer and the time/ thought that it deserves.

ArabellaScott · 10/08/2025 14:17

I don't understand why so many trans activists seem so reticent about Stefonknee. Is he not the right sort of transwoman? Is it how he looks? Is it the age thing?

MistyGreenAndBlue · 10/08/2025 14:24

SidewaysOtter · 08/08/2025 16:39

Firstly, it's not a proposed law. The Supreme Court has ruled, and the upcoming EHRC document is setting out how it applies. The law has not changed and nor will it.

Secondly, it's not going to be the case that everyone has to provide ID to use a loo. Organisations will have the right to ask for a birth certificate if someone really wants to prove they are the sex they claim they are, but my understanding of it is this is a back-stop in the event of a dispute, not an every day occurrence. For example, a man who says he's a woman kicks up a fuss because as well as wearing a dress and make-up he's had surgery and takes hormones, so he's adamant he's a woman. The venue asks for his birth certificate, which shows he's male and that's the end of the matter.

Unless he has a GRC which makes his birth certificate a lie.

And since the SC ruling was clear that a GRC Does NOT change a person's sex for the purposes of the EA, birth certificates are not the answer if there is a dispute.

DeanElderberry · 10/08/2025 14:25

Stephoknee seems seriously mentally unwell, a form of malignant narcissism that needs to be treated somewhere where other people in society will not be harmed - likewise the chap who smears faeces. Involving children or childhood in an adult man's presentation to the world should be recognised as a red flag.

Helleofabore · 10/08/2025 14:27

awareness of self as ‘female’ is not interpretive and has nothing to do with knowledge of women’s experience.”

So why again should some person’s labelling of their understanding (that has no relevance to the state of being that they claim, because they have repurposed a term that they have claimed without it being material real for the purposes of categorisation into a group based on objectively measured criteria) be considered valid for accessing the provisions of the group they have claimed to be part of?

NeverOneBiscuit · 10/08/2025 14:28

Okay, Stefonknee…. let’s have a try.

”We know so much more now than we did years ago. We now don’t call women witches, & we know the earth is round. So it is with categories. They don’t remain stable across time, and how can we as a species hope to progress if we don’t open our minds?

Stefonknee has a memory of themselves as an 8 year old. But where does this memory live? In the past, the present? Just because their biological body has continued to age, chronologically 8 may be the point at which Stefonknee was their best self.

Who should deny Stefonknee the chance to be their authentic trans age self? Current 8 year olds without their life experience, or adults who have forgotten the essence of being 8?

This is a pure soul from whom we can learn so much. Look at how much their adoptive family loves them. Their terrible bigoted spouse has denied themselves the chance to grow and learn, alongside somebody with a personal experience of 8 that only they can know.

Stefonknee: we see you, we love you ❤️

ArabellaScott · 10/08/2025 14:35

'I was, um, in a woman's shelter, I was in jail in a female side of the jail, and um even in the hospital I was on a women's floor for, um, the, in the crisis unit, and there was no incidents everything worked out really nice, the the women accepted me as an equal and I was able to progress with my transition'

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music that you love, upload original content and share it all with friends, family and the world on YouTube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6cpP_x5cxM

borntobequiet · 10/08/2025 14:42

ArabellaScott · 10/08/2025 14:11

If you can explain to me why Stefonknee is genuinely a six year old girl, I promise you I will change my mind.

This is really a six year old girl because age is a spectrum, running from very young to very old and at any point in time an individual can be anywhere on this spectrum because biological and chronological age are not always the same. Research shows that the length of telomeres which control ageing differs in individuals and this not only makes them feel younger but actually be younger. It is not just a belief, it is their lived reality.
There is also psychological age and societal age. People can think and behave in a younger or an older way than their peers, for example they can like music preferred by younger people or dress in clothes preferred by younger people, or even babygros. Research shows that the more someone sucks a dummy the more likely they are to be transage. This was not understood until recently. The repetitive sucking action has been shown to change brain structure, reversing ageing. It is very wrong and cruel to laugh at these people. They just want to be themselves, and pee in their nappies if they need to. They are telling you about themselves, they know themselves to be children - it is part of the rich diversity of humanity - blah blah blah, I can’t write any more.

I hope you’re convinced!

MistyGreenAndBlue · 10/08/2025 14:45

hiintrepidheroes · 08/08/2025 17:37

Thank you for thinking I’m confused. I’m not. My point stands that violent men don’t need to hide behind a trans status.

They aren't hiding behind anything. The point of dressing up as a "woman" and violating women's spaces is to use those women as validation and as a filip to their fetish.

If they aren't pretending to be women, there's no point to it for most of them

Forcing women to play along and say they are women IS the point.
Even when they are openly wanking and waving their dicks around in there.
Why should I or any other woman have to put up with that?

DeanElderberry · 10/08/2025 14:50

ArabellaScott · 10/08/2025 14:35

'I was, um, in a woman's shelter, I was in jail in a female side of the jail, and um even in the hospital I was on a women's floor for, um, the, in the crisis unit, and there was no incidents everything worked out really nice, the the women accepted me as an equal and I was able to progress with my transition'

wait, Stefoknee was in jail? What for? Don't make me watch it.

NeverOneBiscuit · 10/08/2025 15:02

@borntobequiet

I hadn’t read your name at the top of your post about Stefonknee! It was very convincing, inasmuch as it read exactly like the types of arguments made for mentally ill men like him. Especially loved the part about sucking the dummy!

I was assuming it was from somebody being serious. How depressing that we can actually anticipate their ridiculous arguments. No doubt the Reddit gang etc would say the same about us, except we don’t have to make stuff up.

BundleBoogie · 10/08/2025 15:11

Tandora · 10/08/2025 12:20

Because being trans is not a “belief”. Just like being gay is not a “belief”.

Being trans is a real axis of human diversity , tied to broader processes
of development , that affects a minority of people.

Transness cannot be “cured” through therapies, anymore than homosexuality can, and it’s extremely harmful to the individual to force them to repress or deny their experience of transness. It is a fundamental and elementary/ core part of their humanity.

You said being trans is ‘understanding yourself to be a woman’

How does ‘understanding’ differ from ‘belief’ ?

SidewaysOtter · 10/08/2025 15:22

ArabellaScott · 10/08/2025 14:12

I mean if ANYONE can explain clearly why Stefonknee is a six year old girl. That would be great. Yet to hear anyone even try, for some reason.

Well, to use an earlier quote as a basis for an attempt at understanding:

"Because being a six year old is not a “belief”. Just like being gay is not a “belief”.

"Being trans age - that is, to feel you are different age from your biological age - is a real axis of human diversity , tied to broader processes of development, that affects a minority of people.

Trans age-ness cannot be “cured” through therapies, anymore than homosexuality can, and it’s extremely harmful to the individual to force them to repress or deny their experience of trans age-ness. It is a fundamental and elementary/ core part of their humanity."

Because as far as I can see, there seems to be no difference between being "trans age" or "trans gender" or even "trans racial" (much as Rachel Dolezal found to the contrary). Or maybe Tandora could explain why there is a difference between "feeling like you're six years old" and "feeling like a woman"?

NeverOneBiscuit · 10/08/2025 15:22

Just listened to the first quarter or so of Stefonknee’s interview. The villain of the piece is framed as his wife, who threw him out because he wouldn’t stop being transgender. No mention of how she might have felt.

Then he explained that everything went down hill. He mentioned arrest & jail, but no reason why.

He spoke in broad terms about what sounded like a very traumatic and abusive childhood. Nobody told him when his father died (he was homeless but apparently contactable).He then recounted his (then dead) father visiting him 3 times, asking him for his forgiveness. He wasn’t told when his sister then died, & wasn’t mentioned in her obituary.

So sadly, once again, a very vulnerable child, history of abuse, family estrangement, and god knows what else. Clearly he needed/needs psychiatric intervention. But trans ….

RedToothBrush · 10/08/2025 15:27

BundleBoogie · 10/08/2025 15:11

You said being trans is ‘understanding yourself to be a woman’

How does ‘understanding’ differ from ‘belief’ ?

Grammar.

And existential metaphysics that are beyond the comprehension of normal people and only accessible to those who have minds which are unobstructed to the possibilities of disestablishmentarianism of the state from formal diagnoses of being.

ArabellaScott · 10/08/2025 16:03

I rememeber antidisestablishmentarianism was famous for being a super long word.

ArabellaScott · 10/08/2025 16:08

Thanks for the goes at trying to rationalise Stefonknee's trans-age status. They do make more sense to me than the idea that a person can identify as the opposite sex - a man has been a child, and a child will be an adult, all being well. So age really is a spectrum. And bits of us do and can age at different rates. Whereas nobody, ever, can or will change sex.

I suspect many trans activists would consider Stefonknee to be beyond what they consider a 'trans' person, and would actually claim he is not trans, but mentally unstable or deluded.

I've yet to see a trans activist defend his status as a female or as a six year old girl.

DeanElderberry · 10/08/2025 16:45

Having looked after my father through his last years with Alzheiemers, although he did indeed enter into a second childhood, 'seeing' his parents and siblings, 'inhabiting' 1930s Dublin, he was still definitely a boy child.

BundleBoogie · 10/08/2025 16:59

Tandora · 10/08/2025 12:24

There is precisely zero need to for who call themselves women to use women’s facilities.

this is a complete denial of the needs /
experiences of trans people.

You will need to get used to that...The reality is that people whose sex is male (this includes men who call themselves women) need to use male facilities. You’ll get it eventually.

This will not happen. It’s unenforceable, unreasonably discriminatory and profoundly harmful to a minority of the population. It’s completely unsustainable both practically and from a standpoint of human rights/ justice.

this is a complete denial of the needs /
experiences of trans people.

So you’re claiming that men who identify as trans gave a specific NEED to use female facilities? When if they ‘just want to pee’ (as is the usual claim), surely unisex facilities would be perfectly fine?

What purpose, other than ‘just needing to pee’ do they need to access a toilet for? Why does it have to be the ladies?

This will not happen. It’s unenforceable, unreasonably discriminatory and profoundly harmful to a minority of the population. It’s completely unsustainable both practically and from a standpoint of human rights/ justice.

In the contrary, it IS happening, is easily enforceable (unless you suggest that these men are incapable of following basic rules of society?) and is totally non discriminatory as it treats all males the same. The Supreme Court confirmed that there is not a special group of males which hold a special certificate that says for the purposes of using toilets, that they are female.

Can you explain how it is ‘profoundly harmful’ for men to be required to use either the men’s facilities or a unisex facility? what ‘harm’ is occurring? Why do women have to be involved at all?

If they fancied, they could even use those outdoor urinals that pop up in busy city centres for men with small bladders. Funnily enough, women can’t.

BundleBoogie · 10/08/2025 17:16

Tandora · 10/08/2025 14:10

I’m not I’m on my phone which is precisely why a line by line/ lengthy response is hard to execute.

I would love to change my mind. I am sure some people here are open to changing their given the right evidence

If I believed for a nanosecond that this might be true I would certainly take the time. As I have done so so often on mumsnet. Unfortunately I’m a ruthless empiricist and despite my desperate desire to believe this is possible, there is virtually no evidence of it whatsoever. Occasionally there has been maybe one poster on one of these threads out of 100s where the needle has maybe moved very slightly. Other times there have been moments where I thought there had been a productive exchange and some shared understanding reached, only for the same poster to revert back to really personal insults a few posts later. That’s the most disheartening. maybe you’ll be the exception but your username and posting history on this thread suggests otherwise.

That would be down to your lack of actual explanations/answers/evidence than us though.
I know you think you provide these things but you really don’t.

You have been provided with so many opportunities to make a persuasive argument on this thread, yet you keep ducking them.
Nice clear questions, statements for you to refute (with argument and evidence obvs), but you just chuck back a google search and claims that you gave provided links in the past. I don’t remember seeing you post any actual evidence of anything - you always duck or ignore the request. Why would that be?

I’m starting to think that you’ve got literally nothing but wishful thinking and the support of a diminishing number of people that felt sorry for you.

BundleBoogie · 10/08/2025 17:23

ArabellaScott · 10/08/2025 14:11

If you can explain to me why Stefonknee is genuinely a six year old girl, I promise you I will change my mind.

Stefoknee, by his account, ‘understands’ himself as a 6 yr old girl and ‘experiences’ himself as such, so from Tandora’s previous definition repeated several times upthread, he is absolutely a 6 year old.

As an aside, I’d love to know how this age trans works - does he age at a normal rate? So is he now Stefoknee the 15 yr old?

akkakk · 10/08/2025 17:31

Tandora · 10/08/2025 12:20

Because being trans is not a “belief”. Just like being gay is not a “belief”.

Being trans is a real axis of human diversity , tied to broader processes
of development , that affects a minority of people.

Transness cannot be “cured” through therapies, anymore than homosexuality can, and it’s extremely harmful to the individual to force them to repress or deny their experience of transness. It is a fundamental and elementary/ core part of their humanity.

Trans is not a belief - it is a confusion or misunderstanding.

As it is 100% black and white / biological reality / truth / established in law…

  • a man is born a man and remains a man
  • a woman is born a woman and remains a woman

so, it is impossible for any man to become a woman or vice versa, therefore it is not possible to be trans as defined - someone who is changed from original.

so anyone who has this ‘belief’:

  • has mental health issues
  • is deluded
  • has ulterior motives

what is not available is for a man to either ‘believe’ they are a woman - or to ‘be’ a woman - they will always be a man.

a transwoman is simply a man asking for validation in something not based on truth.

a transwoman is a man trying to change the landscape of truth

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