To feel guilty about letting the repossession company take his car away?

[LegendaryExtra]

I got engaged to my ex after 7 months of dating (short I know).

He told me his Range Rover had a fault and he wanted to return it and get a new one. Since his credit was bad he asked if I could get it in my name while he makes the payments. He gave me time to think about it. I realised without him knowing that he had been in negotiations with a repossession company cos they wanted to take his car away due to some arrears. It seems he had some missed payments but had a payment plan but for some reason they still wanted to take the car away. I never confronted him about this.

a week or two later I found out he had been messsging women on a dating site. He had given two or 3 of them his number even 2 days after he proposed. (opened a thread here which got deleted about it at the time)

Anyway, out of annoyance I reserved a car for him online, an 80k RR. I showed him the reservation. He was over the moon.

The very next day he asked the repossession company to come get his car.

Then a day later I confronted him about the dating site activity. He promised me he was careless and it was just a dormant account and he would delete the app. I swore heaven and earth until I mentioned names of ppl he had been chatting with and quoted conversations.

we have still been in contact but he still says I was unreasonable for allowing them take his car if I knew I wasn't going to go ahead with the purchase of a new one. He is blaming me 100% for this. I do feel a bit guilty cos he's been borrowing his friends car an is so depressed. Am o being unreasonable for feeling guilty?

You aren’t unreasonable at all- serves the cheating git right! Also, if he was in arrears the car would have be repossessed anyway at some point. They would have taken it from his house etc.

No you aren't. He is. Take this as a warning. He's happy to message other girls. He has poor credit so thinks it's a good idea to put you at financial risk. You can't trust him to pay you. There are a lot of red flags here.

Great bit of karma I reckon!

I voted YABU because you should not feel guilty for this. You would be insane to take out a credit agreement for a Klarna pay in 3, let alone an £80k dickhead mobile, and expect him to give you the money for the payments.

DO NOT DO THIS.

He won't pay and you'll end up paying for the car and it's going to cripple you and drag you down for years.

I'm not really one to go the revenge route but I was so upset. I keep wondering if I made the right decision. He's literally never been in this position before and I feel it's all my fault.

It's about time he learned to deal with the consequences of his behaviour, isn't it? Well done OP. Now all you need to do is never take the cheating, lying, irresponsible twat back.

Well he fucked around and found out didn't he?
No sympathy at all.
Well played OP.

You 100% made the right decision. I’m suspecting that’s why he proposed after 7 months to you too. I would block him on everything

Nah fuck him. Apart from the messaging, he also lied about the reason why he needed you to take out the finance in your name, so in 7 months he's proven to be a complete and utter twat more than once, I wouldn't give him a 2nd thought.

Thank god you realised what a lowlife he is before you signed up for 80k of debt.

In terms of his car, maybe he needs to set his sights a bit lower and get something he can actually afford. Not your problem.

And you’re still with this financially irresponsible cheater because…..?

I think it’s pretty clear from the OP that she never had the slightest intention to go ahead with getting the car

After she found out about his cheating she reserved the car online (fully intending to back out immediately), knowing that he would then give up his current car and be left with nothing at all

I put YABU for even thinking about feeling guilty and YABU for reserving the car in the first place. Presumably you lost a deposit on the car for this tool?

but yeah as PP - he fucked around and found out!

Exactly! I suggested a smaller car but he said his last two cars were also Range Rovers and he just felt safer in them.

I couldn’t imagine asking a woman to pay for my car due to bad credit. What’s he buying a fancy car with bad credit? You’ve done him a massive favour. It’s kindness.

No, I cancelled the reservation with the 48 hour window and they refunded me my 300.

He needs to learn to drive what he can afford

Is he an ex now OP?

He was going to make the monthly payments it was just that he couldn't use his name due to bad credit and I guess he knew my credit score already,

Have you ended this relationship?

Yes but we have still been in contact tbh.

It’s the consequence of his shitty cheating behaviour. Now block him and forget about the arsehole.
Instead of an 80k Range Rover he can get a 2k second hand car.

Absolutely brilliant, YANBU at all.
What was very U was the fact he was happy to use you for an expensive car all the while cheating and lying. What a piece of crap.

He’s never been in this position before? Yes he has. He’s an expert at it. He messaged other women to see who he can go to next to con them out of money/car/gifts.
Surely you can’t be that desperate?

Also if you drive ok you are fine in a smaller car

Probably uses the unaffordable Range Rover to impress women when actually it’s days away from being repossessed.

Do you drive a Range Rover OP?

or did he just want you to pay for a more expensive car just for him?

He said he would have never slept with any of them and he's not my husband yet so he can do what he likes.

You can do what you like as well
starting with not renting a Range Rover for him