Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel guilty about letting the repossession company take his car away?

224 replies

LegendaryExtra · 24/07/2025 08:25

I got engaged to my ex after 7 months of dating (short I know).

He told me his Range Rover had a fault and he wanted to return it and get a new one. Since his credit was bad he asked if I could get it in my name while he makes the payments. He gave me time to think about it. I realised without him knowing that he had been in negotiations with a repossession company cos they wanted to take his car away due to some arrears. It seems he had some missed payments but had a payment plan but for some reason they still wanted to take the car away. I never confronted him about this.

a week or two later I found out he had been messsging women on a dating site. He had given two or 3 of them his number even 2 days after he proposed. (opened a thread here which got deleted about it at the time)

Anyway, out of annoyance I reserved a car for him online, an 80k RR. I showed him the reservation. He was over the moon.

The very next day he asked the repossession company to come get his car.

Then a day later I confronted him about the dating site activity. He promised me he was careless and it was just a dormant account and he would delete the app. I swore heaven and earth until I mentioned names of ppl he had been chatting with and quoted conversations.

we have still been in contact but he still says I was unreasonable for allowing them take his car if I knew I wasn't going to go ahead with the purchase of a new one. He is blaming me 100% for this. I do feel a bit guilty cos he's been borrowing his friends car an is so depressed. Am o being unreasonable for feeling guilty?

OP posts:
Iheartmysmart · 24/07/2025 08:53

Hmm this story sounds very familiar. Right down to the car make and cost.

LegendaryExtra · 24/07/2025 08:54

frozendaisy · 24/07/2025 08:52

Also if you drive ok you are fine in a smaller car

Probably uses the unaffordable Range Rover to impress women when actually it’s days away from being repossessed.

Do you drive a Range Rover OP?

or did he just want you to pay for a more expensive car just for him?

I do drive what might be considered a luxury car but it's very affordable for me.

He said I would be the one driving the Range and he would be taking my own car to work etc.

OP posts:
R0ckandHardPlace · 24/07/2025 08:54

LegendaryExtra · 24/07/2025 08:38

I'm not really one to go the revenge route but I was so upset. I keep wondering if I made the right decision. He's literally never been in this position before and I feel it's all my fault.

He cheated you, you cheated him back. I’d call that evens.

Block and delete, and move on with your life. And don’t jump in feet first in future.

frozendaisy · 24/07/2025 08:55

LegendaryExtra · 24/07/2025 08:54

I do drive what might be considered a luxury car but it's very affordable for me.

He said I would be the one driving the Range and he would be taking my own car to work etc.

So he can drive other cars

he just can’t pay for them

ArabiattaPrawn · 24/07/2025 08:55

Christ just bin him off, he sounds like a fucking loser. Why are you standards so low?

Laura95167 · 24/07/2025 08:55

I think this is hilarious. We're you unreasonable, probably kinda a little. Do I think he deserved this karmic justice - absolutely.

Now block and delete

RunningJo · 24/07/2025 08:55

LegendaryExtra · 24/07/2025 08:52

He said he would have never slept with any of them and he's not my husband yet so he can do what he likes.

If the bad credit & asking you to sort the car isn’t enough to make you realise what kind of person he is, then him saying because he’s not your husband he can do what he likes should be.

OP, he lied to you, that’s all you need to know.

You deserve better!

LegendaryExtra · 24/07/2025 08:55

Iheartmysmart · 24/07/2025 08:53

Hmm this story sounds very familiar. Right down to the car make and cost.

Yes I posted here initially for advice when he first made the request cos he made me feel like shit for refusing but the post got deleted.

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 24/07/2025 08:56

So glad you’ve got out of this early.

TourdeFrance2025 · 24/07/2025 08:56

LegendaryExtra · 24/07/2025 08:52

He said he would have never slept with any of them and he's not my husband yet so he can do what he likes.

Yes he can. So he can fuck off to the far side of fuck, then further.

wake up, cut contact, get on with your life.

moose62 · 24/07/2025 08:58

You were right to confront him about his cheating and right to split up with him.

I think you lost the high ground when you deliberately orchestrated the loss of his car.
He was probably going to lose it anyway but I think making it happen had no relevance to his cheating except to get your own back.

You say you are still talking....does that mean you are getting back with him?
If so, what was the point of all of this?

Summerhillsquare · 24/07/2025 08:58

Sounds like he's going to reel you back in, specially as he knows you have money/credit.

I wonder how many he has scammed or defrauded.

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 24/07/2025 08:58

Ha ha. I think it’s brilliant.

The only part that’s unreasonable is you still having any contact with him.

Bin him off completely. You deserve so much better.

frozendaisy · 24/07/2025 08:58

So he wanted to carry on like a not yet married man whilst you took on potentially 80k of debt for him

come on @LegendaryExtra block him

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 24/07/2025 08:59

Why do you even have any ongoing contact with the loser?!

Block him on everything and don't fall for another love bombing arsehole again.

Greyhound98 · 24/07/2025 09:00

The only thing you are unreasonable about is still being in contact with this lying cheating debt ridden flash bastard who probably would have left you in a shit ton of debt whilst he went chasing other women in the Range Rover you were paying for.
Block him.

LegendaryExtra · 24/07/2025 09:01

frozendaisy · 24/07/2025 08:58

So he wanted to carry on like a not yet married man whilst you took on potentially 80k of debt for him

come on @LegendaryExtra block him

Exactly! He wants all the perks of a husband without the responsibility of being faithful.

OP posts:
GargoylesofBeelzebub · 24/07/2025 09:01

He would never have paid you a single penny for that car. He's a massive red flag.

Greyhound98 · 24/07/2025 09:02

moose62 · 24/07/2025 08:58

You were right to confront him about his cheating and right to split up with him.

I think you lost the high ground when you deliberately orchestrated the loss of his car.
He was probably going to lose it anyway but I think making it happen had no relevance to his cheating except to get your own back.

You say you are still talking....does that mean you are getting back with him?
If so, what was the point of all of this?

He orchestrated the loss of his car by not paying for it.

ForZanyAquaViewer · 24/07/2025 09:04

LegendaryExtra · 24/07/2025 08:55

Yes I posted here initially for advice when he first made the request cos he made me feel like shit for refusing but the post got deleted.

Why was it deleted?

And why are you still in contact with this idiot?

DorothyStorm · 24/07/2025 09:04

Stop all contact. Block him. He is faking everything. Love bombing you to be a leech.

you do bot need any more contact with him.

spend money on therapy to work out what you got engaged so very, very quickly.

mindutopia · 24/07/2025 09:05

I hope you have washed your life of him. It’s great that you got one over on him, but the more important thing is that you have built some resilience now and you could see a walking red flag like this coming next time.

Whenindoubthugitout · 24/07/2025 09:06

Please block him everywhere and move on with your life.
you have been incredibly wise in all your behaviours up to now.
don’t ruin it by giving him a second chance.

he has completely told you who he is.

(And I suspect he love bombed you in the beginning).

so many red flags here, STAY AWAY FROM HIM.

LegendaryExtra · 24/07/2025 09:06

ForZanyAquaViewer · 24/07/2025 09:04

Why was it deleted?

And why are you still in contact with this idiot?

I don't know why it was deleted. I guess they thought the story was unrealistic I even got banned in the process 😭

I still talk to him cos.., I'm not sure tbh

OP posts:
Isittimeformynapyet · 24/07/2025 09:06

LegendaryExtra · 24/07/2025 08:38

I'm not really one to go the revenge route but I was so upset. I keep wondering if I made the right decision. He's literally never been in this position before and I feel it's all my fault.

Oh, stop it. With your childlike affect I find it hard to believe you have the credentials to reserve an 80k vehicle.

Swipe left for the next trending thread