To feel guilty about letting the repossession company take his car away?

[LegendaryExtra]

I got engaged to my ex after 7 months of dating (short I know).

He told me his Range Rover had a fault and he wanted to return it and get a new one. Since his credit was bad he asked if I could get it in my name while he makes the payments. He gave me time to think about it. I realised without him knowing that he had been in negotiations with a repossession company cos they wanted to take his car away due to some arrears. It seems he had some missed payments but had a payment plan but for some reason they still wanted to take the car away. I never confronted him about this.

a week or two later I found out he had been messsging women on a dating site. He had given two or 3 of them his number even 2 days after he proposed. (opened a thread here which got deleted about it at the time)

Anyway, out of annoyance I reserved a car for him online, an 80k RR. I showed him the reservation. He was over the moon.

The very next day he asked the repossession company to come get his car.

Then a day later I confronted him about the dating site activity. He promised me he was careless and it was just a dormant account and he would delete the app. I swore heaven and earth until I mentioned names of ppl he had been chatting with and quoted conversations.

we have still been in contact but he still says I was unreasonable for allowing them take his car if I knew I wasn't going to go ahead with the purchase of a new one. He is blaming me 100% for this. I do feel a bit guilty cos he's been borrowing his friends car an is so depressed. Am o being unreasonable for feeling guilty?

It was so unrealistic that it got banned, but you’re still asking us if you’re unreasonable for feeling guilty? And relaying nonsense like ‘he says we’re not married, so he can do what he likes’?

You’re still in contact with him, ‘but you don’t know why’?

You are an adult woman with agency. All of this rubbish is happening because you’re allowing it. So, why are you allowing it? Why haven’t you blocked this grifter?

I agree he fucked around and found out / played silly games and won silly prizes / other similar expression…

It would be all to complicated for me but fair play to you!

Also I think you should cut contact with him and resign him to history

Block him. Don't waste anymore time on this weapon.

He told you exactly who he is when he said he isn't your husband yet and can do what he likes.

I suggest you bin him, treat yourself to something nice with that 300 and just move on with no contact with the little cheat who can't handle his money.

He fucked around and found out. Don't be a mug and let him keep doing this to you.

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

Brilliant. Well done 👏

Oh wow, he sounds wonderful! Why are you in contact with him? He cheats, lies, tries, and you with a massive debt (because if he couldn't afford repayments on his old car why would he be able to this time), thinks it's okay to cheat as long as your not married, is financially irresponsible and blames you when he can't get his own way.
Go no contact. Block him. Don't go back to him. You deserve at least a million times better.

Yeah I agree totally but after all he's done, she’s still talking to him for some reason, although I can’t imagine why.

and edited to add that the last thing the OP needs is getting into a new relationship and getting PG

What really angers me about your post is that you're clearly planning to take this man back. Then you'll be back in 2-3 years to post about how he did you wrong etc etc. Why seek sympathy if you love being mistreated?

The bus is equally as safe if not safer. I hope your credit score isn’t affected by all this.

This. As the saying goes " No one falls in love faster than a man in need of somewhere to sleep ( or a credit deal he can't get on his own)"

Yesh you posted about this before when he first asked you to get the car and everyone told you not to do it. Clearly you didn't take that advice onboard so I'm not going to applaud you now.

He's using you. Wake up.

It is not always easy to go no contact after being with someone almost every day. I know that may sound childish to some ppl but I am just being honest.

Of course I know he has shown me who he is. I am not usually a vindictive person so I do feel sorry for him genuinely.

This jas tickled me this here morning
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.

YABU foe feeling guilty. You've done the feckless fucker a favour and dodged yourself a bullet too.

I just hope he doesn't find another Ms Desperado who is only too happy to put herself in debt for him; because I could wager an arm he wouldn't have paid you back.

Next time, don't even entertain such ridiculous ideas. He'd lied to you long before the cheating and you were still pressing along with marriage and debt.

Why feel sorry for him? He's a twat.

Drop, block and move on. Kindly - have some self respect.

I shouldn't be rude to you and I do understand. But he is, genuinely, the scum of the earth. He was happy to rip you off financially while seeking other women to have sex with. If you get back together with him, he will destroy your life and then whine about how it's actually your fault. You would be insane to get back together with him.

I would say well played, OP.

Hope you dumped him promptly, blocked him on everything, and changed your locks if there's ANY chance he has a key to your home.

I’ll be honest back, then. If you don’t immediately and completely end all contact with this idiot, you are being foolish.

Dig deep, locate your self respect, and stop being foolish. If you don’t, I anticipate more follow up posts about the stuff he will continue to do to you, while you wring your hands and say ‘it’s not easy’.

Ha! He's a pillock! Not your fault he didn't keep up with the repayments. Not your fault he doesn't have a car.
Kick this man out of your life, he's nothing more than a drain.

I don't really understand why you would reserve a car out of annoyance rather than just leave him.

I thought this too. That’s a spiteful thing to do, even if he deserved it.

But OP would be insane to marry someone who lies, cheats and says he would have never slept with any of them and he's not my husband yet so he can do what he likes.

You're nowhere near angry enough

This man wants to marry you because he believes he can bleed you dry.

He chose you because he thinks you are stupid enough to fall for his ridiculous lies which a child could see through.

He is still talking to you because he thinks you are stupid enough to believe his excuses about cheating and still get conned into buying a ridiculous car for him to drive around in.

You should be so angry that he should feel lucky to be blocked.

Do it now and never, ever look back.

Of course YABU for feeling guilty.

He deserves as much thought as he gave you whilst he was messaging on a dating site.

That's absolutely zero!

I agree. Why stoop to stupid games. She could have just ended things.

Stop feeling sorry for him and feel sorry for yourself that you got engaged to a cheater. I hope you're breaking up?

Never ever marry him anyway you don't. Want
To be financially tied to him he'll ruin your credit score

Watch the tinder swindler if you haven't already please! 7 months!

It wasn't ever his new RR... It was YOURS because it was in YOUR name. And you and him are not a team because he's a liar and cheater... And one who is too cowardly to even tell you the truth about his life. He has no integrity. Stop talking to him and cut him out of your life if you haven't already.