My DB found a copy of my will and now all hell has broken loose

[senseoftiles]

Not sure where to post this but I need some outside perspective. NC for obvious reasons.

I don’t have children. I’m in my late 30s, single (in a relationship but not married), and I own my home outright, have decent savings/investments, and live a fairly quiet life with my two dogs who are essentially my family.

I recently wrote a will (not dying, just being sensible) and left a copy in my parent's safe. Well, my DB was apparently looking for something in the safe this week and came across it. And now all hell has broken loose.

My will sets up a trust so that whoever takes care of my dogs after I die gets £30k per year, to cover their care and essentially pay a "salary" in recognition. Once the dogs pass, that person inherits the remainder of my estate . I’ve listed my preferred carers in order: my current partner, my best friend, and three ex-boyfriends (all still in my life and responsible people). If none of them are willing/able, I’ve said the dogs should go to a breed-specific rescue that I support, with the same financial provision to the carer, on the condition that it isnt a staff member of the rescue

My DB has now lost it. He is FURIOUS. Apparently it’s “insulting” that I haven’t made any provision for his children (my nieces/nephews), even though he’s financially very well off. They live in a huge home worth a few million, his wife doesn’t work, and the kids are in private school. He says it’s “disgusting” that I’m prioritising dogs over “actual blood relatives” and that he’s not even being offered the chance to take the dogs and get the money.

For context: he hates my dogs, well all dogs really. Has said multiple times they’re dirty, and shouldn't be around his children etc. He refuses to have them in his house and has made it very clear he’d never want them. So I thought I was doing the kindest thing all around, choosing people who genuinely love animals and would care for them properly.

He’s now gone to my parents to complain and they’re caught in the middle. Mum thinks I should “keep the peace” and maybe consider leaving something to his kids to avoid drama. Dad’s staying out of it. My partner knows he has first refusal on the dogs, but nothing about the financial provision.

So… AIBU for leaving my money the way I have? Or should I rethink for the sake of keeping family harmony?

P.S. I’m not rich rich. It’s a decent estate but I’m not talking lottery money here. Just enough to live on comfortably and give the dogs a good life if I go before them.

Bless you OP. It's your money and your choice. You sound like a caring and responsible person

I ld leave the money to brothers children on condition that they looked after the dogs under the watchful care of doggy s vet. Residue going to children with last 20% going to charity.

But it's your money so up to you, to do what you want.

Brother is quite grabby considering he will inherit from parents.

Gosh you and I could be friends! I’m a dog person - much prefer them to people 😆 Your brother is the perfect illustration of why.

I'm too nice. I know!

Have you asked your brother how much he is leaving you in his will.
He broke your trust by reading it....and he has no right to anything.

How do you know that? Have you been brought up in the OP's family with a brother who behaves like this?

Do you get on with niece/nephews? If you don’t or aren’t close I don’t see the issue tbh. People with children basically never leave anything to nieces or nephews.

I have kids and no dog. It's hurtful when you are a dog lover and family members do not treat your dogs as part of the family. It doesn't matter if they don't like the dogs, or love the dogs, what matters is that you love the dogs and see them as like your children, and that love is real. Him saying they are just dogs and you should prioritise his children is just cruel and doesn't acknowledge your feelings at all.

How does he think this behaviour is going to help him in any way. Just tell him you changed the will, but don't tell him what you wrote, and put it in a sealed envelope so that the little nosy bugger can't read it. He doesn't need to know whats in your will.

I wonder if he’s made any provision for you in his will ?
I understand why you have gone to lengths to ensure the safety of your dogs.
I would have also left some money to my sibling/his children though.

It’s funny, when you’re the one who is childfree, you realise that a lot of other people, mostly parents, have opinions on what you should do with your money and your time. It’s tiresome, frankly.

Your money, your choice. I'm shocked at your brother's sense of entitlement, he has no right to voice an opinion on what someone else chooses to do with their own money- he sounds like hard work. Your pups are lucky to have an owner who cares so much about their wellbeing- coming from someone who has children and no dogs for reference!

This doesn’t sound real, she’s in her 30s yet is making a will based on people looking after her dogs who all things being equal she will most likely outlive.

And the will lists her last 3 boyfriends to be paid to look after the dogs, really?

And she put the will in her parents safe, why is an adult keeping her will in her parents safe, is she expecting to pass before her parents?

If this is real yes he is unreasonable, I guess he needs to accept it or you cut him off.

It's has absolutely nothing to do with your brother...
yes makes provision as you have for your dogs and remaining estate.
In the meantime though if you can afford it live your life in ways it allows you too travel any other interests you have.
Just enjoy YOUR life x

I personally think it is disgusting and abhorrant and sick to argue over a persons will who is not even dead.
It is nonones business but the person whoes assets they are what they do with them. Regardless of any type of family or blood relation.

Nobody is entitled to anything. Why would the brother even think his children would be in the will? My uncle has no children. I wouldn’t expect him to leave any of his money to his nephews or me. None of us would. And our parents (his siblings) wouldn’t expect it either.

It’s very presumptuous of someone to assume their children will benefit from an aunts estate, even if she has no children.

Your brother is a prick - if he wants his kids provided for, let him do it what with him being the parent and all. He won't get anywhere contesting the will over something like this, by the way.

You do what the hell you want with YOUR money, always.

Change your will & list each of your nieces & nephews as the beneficiary of a fixed £100. My understanding is that it makes the will harder to contest.

You money, your dogs, you life. Good on you for making provisions rather than just expecting someone to take on their care.

Lodge your will with your solicitor. That way it can’t “disappear”.

Tell db you have left his dc some valuable paintings..

Get some of your ddogs done and wrap them up with dc's name tags attached.. .
He is one cf of great magnitude..

Let him be Furious. Just refuse to discuss it with anyone. Him or your parents. If they try to discuss it, cut the conversation. "Im not discussing it further". Repeat, repeat, repeat.
Id also make sure there is another copy of the will placed somewhere else.

It’s weird to not leave your niece and nephew anything at all, even if your brother is a bit of a prick. It makes it seem like you don’t care at all. You might outlive your dogs. £30k a year to adopt your dogs is pretty nuts.
It’s your money. But I get his perspective.

Haven’t RTFT but I would tell your brother you will change the Will. Then update it with - my money grabbing brother will get zero- and don’t put the copy in your parents house. Leave it with a solicitor locally.

That sounds like an awfully big burden for your vet. It all feels a bit Agatha Christie to me.

Christ think of all the terrible need in this world, your will is nuts. Your brother can bollocks though

In fact.. this is so nuts it sounds made up.