DH being cruel to small fish

[linaplatelover]

DH is part of a team sport - has been for years no issues usually with it.

he has brought home a small ‘goldfish’ in a tiny tank. This small fish has been passed around different team members. Apparently if it dies on your watch you have to pay a fine.

the fish clearly isn’t being cared for properly, the water is cloudy it has no filter or air stone.

Ive looked up the type of fish and it’s not even a goldfish - it’s a small orange tropical fish that requires a heater.

I'm absolutely furious! I hate any cruelty to animals and think this type of lads game from a 40 yr old man is ridiculous.

first off mumsnetters AIBU? And if you think no what should I do?

worst part is that DH agrees that it’s cruel but for some reason ‘doesn’t want to cause a fuss’

Eew this is disgusting and would certainly make me consider my feelings towards DH if he can't stick up for himself and tell people he cruel this is yuck!!!!

Your husband needs to grow a pair and tell his mates animal cruelty is not acceptable, but first he needs to go to Pets at Home and buy an aquarium with filter and heater, some gravel, food, plants and a decoration. That's the price for being a twat

Still don't care tbh

Contact the RSPCA. Arrests would follow. If you do not, you are an accessory to a serious crime 😉

He either man’s up and tell them it’s cruel … or he tells them his wife went mad and says it’s cruel.
It’s cruel on several levels…. Fish need a large swimming area, a small tank heats and cools too quickly & this constant change is so bad for fish!… most tropical fish are not solitary… so keeping it on its own is cruel.
if the water is murky the chances are it’s been over fed and the water is turning toxic,
I expect if you took a sample of the water for testing the pet shop would tell you to do small water changes to reduce nitrates/nitrates.
Poor fish! Maybe DH needs to say to the group it’s cruel & wont be continuing this immature game! Hopefully other guys will grow some balls and agree with him and speak out!

Oh sorry just seen. Thank goodness! Please find out what type of fish it is and consider buying it a few tank mates

@Wooky073
I find the way fisherman treat their catch very cruel! The caught fish aren’t killed humanely, instead suffer an agonising death being thrown in ice freezing and drowning to death… which is extremely painful and not particularly fast!

I wouldn’t pay the fine either - tell them all to grow up !

I think it’s really weird grown men are carrying on like this, & that’s honest God ..
I’m being completely genuine when I say , any grown man I know , am friendly with , this just wouldn’t happen, & they’d be involved in team sport & what have you ..
It is cruel , yes …
I can think of at least 100 other things to get laughs from ..
Tell your husband to cop the fuck on , & to tell his stupid buddies to do the same …

The problem is that this isnt solving the wider problem. Its not enough. They will continue the sick game with the replacement fish to neglect for 'sport'. Not stopping a game of animal abuse for entertainment makes you both complicit in whatever happens to other fish bought to continue the game. It needs reporting to the RSPCA and the sports club.

This female sports team all got done for animal abuse for keeping a mascot goldfish in a jar and joking about flushing it down the toilet after a match: https://grapevine.is/news/2013/07/22/exaggerated-death-of-a-goldfish-causes-uproar/

It's same thing on a smaller scale. Fish-eaters just see one fish's life as worth saving, while the ones they eat are still destined to die for human consumption in terrible conditions.

The selective outrage is quite apparent and the blinkers are massive. The fact you believe someone pointing out this discrepancy might not care about animal cruelty is laughable deflection. I imagine they care very much and want those who eat fish to consider their dissonant beliefs and stop supporting industrial-scale animal cruelty.

There is no such thing as "humane" killing. It's an oxymoron.

You are making a massive assumption - you do not know me or what I believe.
You claim I am making a laughable deflection when I am simply pointing out the deflections in the claims that those who have called out the awfulness of animal abuse eat fish are (insert insult eg massive blinkers / selective outrage).

I have already agreed that animal farming practices are poor and harmful. But that is a separate issue than cruelty to animals for human entertainment. Conflating the two and alienating anyone who eats animals with lectures and insults does not represent your cause well.

The difference is that one involves killing fish for human consumption and one involves deliberately keeping a fish indefinitely in miserable conditions for human entertainment. Not the same thing at all.

This is cruelty to a living being and your husband doesn’t want to cause a fuss? I’d tell them it died, pay the fine, put the fish in an appropriate tank and keep it and distance him from this bunch of horrors. Without being melodramatic that sort of attitude can escalate, what are they going to torment next?

What a horrible spineless person. The ick would zip my vag shut for life

I would change the water, give it a better environment and refuse to give it back.

the people saying they would leave their husband over this and generally being hysterical cannot have very much going on in their live to concern them.

You said nothing wrong, Hjjja. I don't know why your comment was deleted.

Thanks

Take it away from them and look after it yourself, this is unacceptable. Let him blame you for stopping this stupid ‘game’ if he has too but do NOT let him pass it on to someone else, this is beyond disgusting.

Surely they know if it has been passed around, likely already been to their house.
God know what they are teaching their children.

Shame on them if they do, poor children being brought up by people like that.

FFS you take the fish and look after it yourself or give it to someone who can.

And then give yourself a slap for marrying such a twat.

This.

I'd re-home the fish immediately otherwise you're just as guilty because you're allowing the cruelty to continue. Up to DH what he says to his friends. I'd be pretty unimpressed by his craven approach to date.