DH being cruel to small fish

[linaplatelover]

DH is part of a team sport - has been for years no issues usually with it.

he has brought home a small ‘goldfish’ in a tiny tank. This small fish has been passed around different team members. Apparently if it dies on your watch you have to pay a fine.

the fish clearly isn’t being cared for properly, the water is cloudy it has no filter or air stone.

Ive looked up the type of fish and it’s not even a goldfish - it’s a small orange tropical fish that requires a heater.

I'm absolutely furious! I hate any cruelty to animals and think this type of lads game from a 40 yr old man is ridiculous.

first off mumsnetters AIBU? And if you think no what should I do?

worst part is that DH agrees that it’s cruel but for some reason ‘doesn’t want to cause a fuss’

What utterly vile men. Including your spineless DH.

Please save the poor fish. One Google throws up a list of tropical fish rehoming sites for you to try.

In the meantime, I would get the poor creature a proper tank and whatever it needs from a pet shop. And make sure your pathetic DH foots the bill.

100% agree with this. Animal cruelty is a criminal offence. Please contact a specialist and get the fish to them ASAP. I wouldn't have a civil word to say to your husband - or his mates. Their behaviour is vile.

I would try my best to help the fish and get whatever it needs to survive. I would boot the husband too. What a d-head.

Sorry but I just couldn’t let this pass, much as I am glad about everyone’s response and the original comment wasn’t necessary, farmed fish do suffer in appalling conditions. I’ll see if I can find a link if you want.

But yes this is really poor behaviour and shouldn’t be tolerated!

No they are flailing round in nets on decks of ships drawing their last breath.

I don't think you can draw huge differences in your justication of fish caught to eat.

I'm sorry, there's a tiny helpless animal suffering at the hands of people he knows, for no other reason than entertainment and he won't help it because he doesn't want to make a fuss? What kind of man is he, exactly?

Pathetic.

I do think you can judge a man by the company he keeps.

Also, what else would he go along with so as not to make a fuss. Is there a point when he would make a fuss? If the animal was bigger? Had fur?

He shouldn't say it died! They'll just get a new fish and then 2 will be suffering. If you have it a better tank with a heater, would it still be portable? Because that would significantly improve its life.

Leave him and report him to the appropriate authorities. Animal cruelty is the one thing that I will go postal over. What’s next a bigger pet? A child? Don’t let it go further he’s sadistic.

There’s something so twisted and dark about making something small suffer for the purpose of a game, like a dancing bear. I don’t think I could look the same way at my DH if he was part of that.

Take it to the RSPCA, and while you are there report the lot of them. Vile men

Disgusting

I would report this to the RSPCA.

Given the connection between animal cruelty and domestic violence i would seriously be questioning being in a relationship with someone who who tolerates cruelty of this nature and who mixed with people who actively practice animal cruelty.

Evil triumphs when given men do nothing. Tell the other wifes or take the fish off him & look after it & pay the fine. Always do the right thing

To be fair, salmon are

I agree, it seems quite creepy and messed up to watch an animal suffer and die as some kind of team activity. I’d be worried about the people involved, they are cruel and enjoying torturing something smaller and weaker than them

I hate men's b.....stupid herd mentality when they don't have the guts to say No to something that is just plain wrong. It makes me wonder if that is how gang rapes happen - because no one is man enough to stand up to the crowd. I know its a long way from mistreating a small fish to gang rape, but to my mind its the same cowardly refusal to break ranks in the face of something wrong.

The poor fish. I am sure google can help you to help it. Please don't hand it on to anyone else. Its just disgusting that they do this. Tell your DH he has to tell his mates that he won't take part.

They are a bunch of dicks.

Grim. Is this a publicly known local sports team? I'd have already put a public post on Facebook about the cruelty and tagged the team's page. Insta too. I wouldn't be handing the fish back and I wouldn't be covering it up either by saying it's dead. What a bunch of wankers.

I would take this into my own hands without him and sort the fish out with a suitable home.

I'd let him sort his embarrassment out with his friends but not before I informed him it made me see him in a light I'd never seen him in before, and not one that is favourable or sexy. Then I would suggest neither of us ever mention it again.

Some of these men ‘didn’t want to make a fuss’ either. This sort of behaviour escalates when people begin to think they can get away with it. I’d have no respect for anyone who participated in this game.

Rugby Gang Rape Trial France

So its ok to willingly allow one to suffer for a game? there’s no comparison.
this would make me see my dp in new light.
id leave my dp if he were ever cruel to a an animal. If he thought this was ok to take part in, id never think of him the same. Disgraceful, all of them. Awful role models.

Cruel beyond belief. In the late 70s/early 80s our village had a fete with a game "guess which number house the hamster would go in to win a prize". I was between 10 and 12 and I made an awful fuss about the cruelty of it, a nocturnal creature put in the middle of a board on a warm summer's day and wait for it to confusedly trundle into a numbered cardboard box made to look like a house to win a prize. The person on the stall was a primary school teacher who I knew and he immediately closed the stall and looked ashamed and there wasn't a repeat in subsequent years.

This is appalling.

I would be going straight to the nearest P@H (usually open until 8pm) to get whatever that poor fish needs. Yes it'll probably be expensive I'm sure but someone has to take responsibility for that poor fish. I literally couldn't have it in my house (or elsewhere) knowing it was suffering and do nothing about it. Once it's in proper conditions you can rehome if you choose not to look after it but someone needs to step up here and it's clearly not going to be your DH. Has the fish even been fed???

Please please do not let this fish go back to circulate around the group.

Yes, they are.

If all these self-professed animal lovers could take a moment to consider their cognitive dissonance, there'd be much fewer animals suffering in the world.