DH being cruel to small fish

[linaplatelover]

DH is part of a team sport - has been for years no issues usually with it.

he has brought home a small ‘goldfish’ in a tiny tank. This small fish has been passed around different team members. Apparently if it dies on your watch you have to pay a fine.

the fish clearly isn’t being cared for properly, the water is cloudy it has no filter or air stone.

Ive looked up the type of fish and it’s not even a goldfish - it’s a small orange tropical fish that requires a heater.

I'm absolutely furious! I hate any cruelty to animals and think this type of lads game from a 40 yr old man is ridiculous.

first off mumsnetters AIBU? And if you think no what should I do?

worst part is that DH agrees that it’s cruel but for some reason ‘doesn’t want to cause a fuss’

As all above said!!! Plus if the aim of the exercise is to keep the poor creature alive why is its environment in this state? What are all the children involved learning from this?!

Er.... yes they are.

This is sickening. What a bunch of scumbags. I couldn't let any man who thought this was ok anywhere near me. I know it might seem extreme to some, but I'd be out the door.

Fish are one of those odd animals like rabbits that depending on where you buy it, effects the judgement you get if you cook it. Buy it from the fishmongers/butchers/catch it yourself fine, Pets at home not so much.

The problem with not returning the fish is that this idiot will probably replace it with another! In my humble opinion he needs to be confronted with how stupid and cruel he is being and bought down a peg or two but I totally understand that not everyone is able to do that.

If I was you I'd re-home your husband instead

Well yeah I mean I eat fish, not children

I would suggest that a lot of posters look up fish farms and ask themselves if they are really ok with the cruelty of keeping a fish in a crowded and polluted tank and think it’s any different and the damage any kind of fishing is doing to the ocean.

For anyone saying it’s different for food, how exactly is it different when you aren’t eating that fish or piece of meat for survival. You are eating it because it tastes good to you.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c2d555l66ndo

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2021/apr/02/farmed-fish-suffer-pain-and-stress-says-report-that-criticises-welfare-failings

good point…. If kids are witnessing animal abuse what would it be doing to them / what terrible lessons is it teaching them? It would be teaching kids to disregard life and be cruel to weaker beings. What kind of parent wants their child to witness (or god forbid participate in) animal abuse? This y situation is major red flags for a wider problem I think.

The RSPCA are awful and will do nothing. I can assure you of that

Eating fish for food isn’t the same as allowing pet fish to suffer in cruel conditions for entertainment for humans. One is about food production, which can still be done humanely, while the other is about deliberate neglect for entertainment purposes. Both deserve scrutiny, but dismissing cruelty just because you eat fish is like saying we shouldn’t care about the welfare of any animals. In which case I hope you are not a pet owner by your logic.

Not just one idiot. A rugby team who seem to think it is ok to pass a fish around until it dies so someone can pay a fine. Scum bags. Scum bags of the highest order

Reporting it to the sports club and the RSPCA should be enough to get the sick game stopped. Regardless of how effective or ineffective the RSPCA are that shouldnt be the reason for doing nothing and allowing it to continue. If it was reported to RSPCA and the sports club and the game continued then it should be 'leaked' to the media - that would quickly put a heap of pressure on the club and damage their reputation for allowing it to continue.

Are you saying that the game of passing around a fish kept suffering in neglectful conditions until it dies, for the fun of 'sportsmen' who then replace the fish and do it again to another fish in a repeating cycle..... is acceptable if they also eat fish? That is a strange logic.

The RSPCA will do zero about one fish. They've done zero about massive cruelty cases where animals have been left to die

I think they were saying the opposite tbh

That may well be true. However shining a light on it and letting those involved know they have been reported, and reporting it to the club (and if it continues going to the media) is shining a light on it and standing up against it . It would be big risk for those involved to risk being publically outed and despised for their despicable behaviour.

I am saying the complete opposite. I am getting at the posters who are saying how cruel this is yet eat fish or any animal products without having any idea of the cruelty behind it. There have been plenty of horrific images of fish raised in fish farms and the horrific conditions they are kept in.

I struggle with the I hate cruelty to animals but I eat meat and drink milk without doing research where that all comes from. We are sold the image that farm animals have a great life, like cows having access to grass and open fields, without going into more detail about the worse parts, not all cows even go outside now

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2021/apr/03/they-dont-belong-in-concrete-shed-cows-still-happiest-outside

Then there is the Happy Egg company that is just anything but

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/free-range-eggs-happy-egg-company-hens-peta-b1812105.html

These aren’t even focusing on shredding male chicks or removing and killing calves and plenty of other cruel cases

I understand your point about farming industries, and I agree that animals used for food are often kept in poor conditions. But that isn’t what this thread is about. You’re using the argument about farmed fish to dismiss the need to act on deliberate cruelty towards a single fish, abused purely for entertainment. These are entirely different issues. By your logic, anyone who eats meat or fish should accept all forms of animal abuse, which most reasonable people don’t.

Maybe start a separate thread about the issue about poor treatment of animals in our food chain. It is a very important issue I agree (also the intensive farming practices damaging the environment). It is also a very different context and not really relevant to this thread about 'pet' fish tortured until death (then replaced) for entertainment purposes by a group of adult sports men from a sports club (with a reputation to uphold).

Cruelty to animals is not acceptable. It's a red flag regarding the psychopathy of the sort of person who would do this.

I can understand the peer pressure on your DH - is he 13 though? Because if not he should be able to handle this. Its good that he recognises its abhorrent but very bad that he's not willing to come up with a solution so would allow it to continue to suffer.
As for the fish, if DH is not brave enough to be truthful, I agree with the idea of pretending it died then I'd go off to the nearest pet shop and spend all my hard earned dosh on constructing a fishy wonderland and just give it the absolute best life

I guess the next thing is what if they get a new fish and this happens all over again?
In a weird kind of way the best thing to happen would be for a couple of the team whom the hubby is friends with to see the little fish alive and well at your house in his new home and it hopefully give them a reality check of their own not to do that again so a few of them could say nah we’ve done that before.

This is what I’d do. Such immature behaviour from your DH and friends though

You’re absolutely not being unfair and I think you’re right for calling it out and caring for the little fish. I think if it were me, I’d take it to a pet shop ( a proper, local pet shop that has lots of fish, including tropical fish - definitely NOT pets at home) and just say you were given this fish by friends but not able to care for it properly due to so many personal obligations already and surrender the fish over to the pet shop. They’ll be able to care for it properly xx