DH being cruel to small fish

[linaplatelover]

DH is part of a team sport - has been for years no issues usually with it.

he has brought home a small ‘goldfish’ in a tiny tank. This small fish has been passed around different team members. Apparently if it dies on your watch you have to pay a fine.

the fish clearly isn’t being cared for properly, the water is cloudy it has no filter or air stone.

Ive looked up the type of fish and it’s not even a goldfish - it’s a small orange tropical fish that requires a heater.

I'm absolutely furious! I hate any cruelty to animals and think this type of lads game from a 40 yr old man is ridiculous.

first off mumsnetters AIBU? And if you think no what should I do?

worst part is that DH agrees that it’s cruel but for some reason ‘doesn’t want to cause a fuss’

This is just so awful and sad. I’m totally with you. I find it difficult to harm flies and they’re really annoying. I let wasps out and just love bees and small creatures.

why would they go to the trouble of this when this defenceless little creature could live out a happy life in a home that cares for it. Also surely they would want yo do their best to make a nice living environment so that the fish lives as long as possible?

I was thinking exactly the same. I bet more than half of the comment from these ‘outraged’ animal lovers’ eat fish 🙄

Bravo OP! Hope the little fish has a lovely life 🥰

Saying it died and paying the fine just validates the whole nasty exercise. Presumably these 'lads' will just go out and buy another fish. Your DH could instead show that he shares something with the fish - a backbone.

i agree. Liberate the fish. But. Perhaps your husband could be persuaded to tell the truth about why he's not passing it on. Even if it's just 'my wife liberated the fish, sorry lads.'

Him and his friends sound like complete tossers.

I’m glad you’re keeping it but fuck paying the fine! Does that mean DH is going to say it died in order to save face aka avoid looking like a wuss in front of his dickhead team mates? Can’t he just be a grown up and tell them the truth?

Me too.

Vile. Get rid. (Of your OH not the fish)

Thank you.

Rehome it and put in a decoy (know anyone with a 3d printer). Chances are the plastic one will be passed around saving other fish the same fate. Or as others have said DH could always say he'd grown out of dkhd games.

Fuss is not the word for the hell i would raise with all of these pathetic men. Never mind fine, id be demanding money from each and every one and spending it on a proper set up for the little guy with everything he needs.

Absolutely disgusting behaviour. Tbh i cannot stand this sort of cruel behaviour to the point my husband would be out on his arse!

Great to hear you are keeping the fish but the fact your husband participated in this til you’ve had to lose it at him, is a real concern. At best he is spineless, at worst thinks casual cruelty is fine.

This would change my opinion of him. People who accept casual cruelty to other sentient beings so as not to upset the majority are weak and lacking in integrity.

Whoever thought this ‘prank’ up and bought the fish to begin with should be publicly named and shamed. That is sociopathic behaviour and the cruelty for fun is rarely limited to animals.

Ugh him saying he doesn’t want to cause a fuss means he has ego issues and doesn’t want to speak up in front of his so called friends. I would save the fish from this bunch of toxic masculinity chest beaters and take it to a pet-shop or somewhere it can be checked on and them cared for in the right tank setup or environment. Don’t allow this to continue, how embarrassing for a bunch of 40yr old men

This. Pay the fine. Buy a good tank for it with proper equipment and fellow fish.

Why is he paying the fine?

What a twat!

What will the money be used for?

To tit about with something else?

I dont so does that mean im allowed to be outraged?

awful

God this really upsets me.

We're just adopted a sweet little 14 month old pusscat who is just learning our house and our noises and our life and is deciding what is/isnt terrifying (6ft1 17yo = not terrifying, toaster = terrifying)

I have spent the past week frantically googling every last thing to make sure this little thing has everything he could want and need, I've been anxious the way I was when our DCs were newborns, but this bunch of men think its fine to allow a fish to suffer.

I would tell them the fish had died, donate their "fine" to the RSPCA then buy the most beautiful tank imaginable for the little fish to live out the rest of their days.

Fucking hell. I know its not ALL men, but why is shit like this always fucking men?

Agree 100 %

I couldn’t NOT and would NOT be with someone who was cruel to any animal and I mean even to an insect. I’m talking purposely cruel or not doing anything about an incident.

Another red flag for me is he isn’t speaking up, what the hell is a grown man scared of speaking up about?

If anyone needs speaking up for its poor animals and creatures!

If they need fun, better to put a cuddly toy like a bear at the air port. Someone willing, takes the bear on the plane to a new country. Bear sends a post card and is left, obviously with a note, to cont his travels, sending postcards from whoever he goes in the world

Your husband, and his friends/team mates, are cunts.

I would divorce this man faster than anything, how horrific to abuse a helpless defenceless animal, would love to put him in a tiny cage and pass him round my group of friends, he wouldn’t last long, what a complete and utter loser and freak of a man.

Call the RSPCA? A series of arrests would follow

Just take control of the fish and have DH tell his friends you were annoyed about how they were treating it and took it off him. Christ sounds like we’re talking about a child not your husband! 🤦‍♀️😂