DH being cruel to small fish

[linaplatelover]

DH is part of a team sport - has been for years no issues usually with it.

he has brought home a small ‘goldfish’ in a tiny tank. This small fish has been passed around different team members. Apparently if it dies on your watch you have to pay a fine.

the fish clearly isn’t being cared for properly, the water is cloudy it has no filter or air stone.

Ive looked up the type of fish and it’s not even a goldfish - it’s a small orange tropical fish that requires a heater.

I'm absolutely furious! I hate any cruelty to animals and think this type of lads game from a 40 yr old man is ridiculous.

first off mumsnetters AIBU? And if you think no what should I do?

worst part is that DH agrees that it’s cruel but for some reason ‘doesn’t want to cause a fuss’

Your DH and his friends are vile and disgusting. How can you stand being anywhere near him?

Op said the waters dirty... I said clean the water
op said the tank is to small... I said get a bigger one
op was unhappy with her partner/husband being involved in this.. I think it's an over reaction (again not right or something I would do personally) but there's far worse going on in this world.

I don't understand what you find strange about what i said 😅

It sounds like they would just replace the fish and continue the game it needs properly calling out. The game needs to be stopped. Replace it either way a game less cruel to defenceless creatures

OP, he does not have to pay the fine.

What he should do is tell his sport mates they are the lowest of the low and he will not tolerate anything like this in future.

But will he ?

If pay the fine let them think it’s died; and id find an excellent home for the fish or keep it and look after it well. I’d also send an anonymous email to the RSPCA or put an anonymous post if you can do such a thing on the groups Facebook page. I’d probably wait a while so your DH isn’t blamed but that also aggravates me tbh because this should be called out as the vile behaviour it is.

you don’t know that the majority of people commenting eat farmed fish, you are sitting in judgment.It’s my choice not to eat animal products, but l don’t force my beliefs on other people.
The thread is about grown men, thinking it’s funny, a game, to pass around a fish, in filthy water, waiting for it to die and that’s why there’s a reaction.

So you are completely comfortable with cruelty to fish then? What about cruelty to reptiles? Animals? Children? Those who have a disregard for the lives of those who lack power or a voice to say how badly they are treated are dangerously ignorant. Many murderers and child abusers started by abusing animals.

He needs to man up and say he’s not taking part and say why he’s not taking part. No pretending that it’s died because they’ll probably just get another one to continue the ‘hilarity’ 🙄 If you guys don’t want to rehome it correctly then I’m sure someone else will.

IME 'proper' vegans generally dont actively try to encourage people to not care at all about how animals are treated by playing immature gotcha games with meat eaters.

Of course they'd rather people didnt eat meat. But would they rather meat eaters prove they arent hypocrites by turning a blind eye to animal cruelty they can and want to help prevent? Absolutely not.

I haven't opened this post all day because I was worried about what I would read! No I'm not vegan/vegetarian but there's a difference in killing to eat and killing for fun.
I'm really pleased you've stopped this senseless game and are looking after the little fish now. I hope your DH puts a stop to the stupid game if his mates suggest it again.

If you don't do something about it you are practically participating in this sick game too.

You are married to a very childish
man and he needs to grow ip and act his age. I would have to reconsider a relationship with a person who thinks it is acceptable to deliberately mistreat and neglect a living creature. Some people may be okay with this but it is not something that would sit comfortably with me.

Well not completely opposite. Billions of fish are tortured each year to entertain people’s tastes buds.. In my opinion, both needless acts of animal cruelty.

Well done for putting a stop to this crap. I wonder what would happen if your husband suggested "raising the stakes" for the next round - how about getting a puppy and keeping it in a plastic storage box? Oh wait, everyone is uncomfortable suddenly? Why, what's wrong?

Doesn't make this acceptable on any level

This

I'm vegan - but this is drastic. Passing around a fish till it dies then someone needs to pay a fine. Get in the actual bin and stay there. Quite aware that awful things go on in the world but that doesn't make this right - on any level

Urgh. This is one of the worst threads I've seen on here

Take it away from him and make him face his “chums”.

Animal abuse is probably the biggest red flag I have. It usually unveils someone's true twisted colours.

you’ve completely summed it up.

I really wouldn't want to be with someone who was capable of torturing an animal. I would certainly make my position clear.

I am really glad you have sought views on this rather than keeping quiet but staying uncomfortable with it. To be honest you really have a responsibility to do something about this to stop it asap, as you are aware of it. So does your husband. He has shown himself to be (at best) incredibly weak and pathetic to join in with cruelty to animals just to fit in socially. But at worst he faces prosecution for participation in cruelty to animals under the Animal Welfare Act 2006, as to any other of his sports team members who also participated in it. The Animal Welfare Act 2006 in the UK applies to vertebrate animals, including fish, meaning they are protected under the law against cruelty and neglect.

The reason why fish are included in the act for protection from abuse is because they experience and suffer abuse. Here is how:
Pain and Nerve Responses: Scientific studies have confirmed that fish have pain receptors (nociceptors) and can experience pain and stress much like other animals.
Poor Water Quality: High levels of ammonia or nitrite in dirty, unfiltered water can burn fish gills and cause internal damage.
Oxygen Deprivation: Without proper aeration or filtration, fish can suffocate slowly as oxygen levels drop.
Overcrowding: Too many fish in a small tank or pond causes aggression, stress, and increased disease risk.
Temperature Stress: Incorrect water temperature can shock fish or weaken their immune system.
Malnutrition or Starvation: Lack of proper food leads to organ failure and slow death.
Disease and Parasites: Untreated infections or parasites cause suffering, ulcers, and often slow, painful deaths.

It is a good first step that you have helped the fish by cleaning it out and providing some care. But that isnt enough. As it will next go to someone else who will let it suffer until it dies. You have identified abuse and now you / your husband needs to act to stop it permanently.

Call the RSPCA Helpline: 0300 1234 999 (open 7am–10pm). Explain the situation clearly and provide all details. Do this ASAP. Or you can use their online cruelty reporting form (select "fish" as the species).

Report it to the club: This also needs reporting to the sports club itself. Your husband has a duty to act to stop it otherwise he could be complicity with participating in animal cruelty.

A few decades ago like in the 70's and 80's people didnt think fish had memories or could suffer. But that has been found to be incorrect but not everyone knows it. So possibly they are also ignorant. But possibly it is much worse that this. This whole game promotes the neglect (abuse) of weaker beings until they die. It has made me feel sick to be honest. Who started this game of animal abuse? I ask because child abusers and murderers often start out on animals. So what is concerning me most is that this could be a symptom of a bigger problem.

Please do let us know what you / he has done to stop and report this terrible game of animal abuse (lets call it what it is). And thank you for acting to get other views on what to do.

Agreed - the whole animal abuse game needs to stop and be reported to RSPCA and the club.

Deal breaker for me