9YOD Pubescent GC of neighbour running around with bra top & 'Booty shorts'

[Idratherreadabookthanks]

I'm sorry for any errors, but am victim of abuse a child as wad DH, so probably a bit more sensitive to these things than others. For context: .We live in a gated community for over 60's. We love to share our neighbour's GC.

'Eve' has walked our dog for many years. She's taken her for a walk around the estate for about 4 years 'Eve' is now aged 9 over-weight. She's obviously a ' clever girl & doing well at school; But she's rather developed for her age.

This afternoon he appears wearing a bra top & 'bootie' shorts. which I thought tonally inappropriate for a child of her age. I told her that she should to go back to he G parent's house & get changed into something into a tee shirt rather than the bra top. She came back wearing on over-sized tee shirt which I felt more appropriate for someone of her age.

I then went to help a neighbour with her husband who has dementia & left DH to deal with 'Eve' .

GP have have since knocked on our door asking why we made their GC cover up. which was (they feel) was unacceptable. DH said we would never allow our Grand-daughters to go visiting neighbours half naked. He pointed out that, despite her young years, that 'Eve' is becoming a young woman now & they need to protect her.

Opinions please.

I think your massively projecting.

She is 9. What's wrong with you? Why does her weight matter and wtf are "booty shorts"

Any one who sees a 9y/o in a sexualised way needs stringing up.

Bootie shorts are very short tight shorts that barely cover your bum

I think you would have been far more tactful, and seemed far less overbearing, if you'd said you thought she'd do better in a t-shirt due to risk of sunburn while walking the dog.

It might not be how you'd have allowed your own DC or DGC to go out but she's not your kid and it's not your call.

An oversized t-shirt doesn't protect her.

Giving her body image issues and telling her clothes sexualise her at 9, that's more serious.

You may not approve, but it's not your place to say anything. What does her being overweight have to do with it? Would you be ok with how she dressed if she was super skinny?

Your response was out of line. Sexualising a 9yo and sending her home to change will have made her feel awful.

At this age, girls will experiment with their style and they won't always get it "right".
That doesn't give you a right to comment or control her choices

This is horrendous. You’ve taught a very young girl to be ashamed of her body! Completely overstepped the mark, I’m glad to hear her GPs came round and told you off.

I’m with you OP. I am sure I will be flamed, but in my view, children shouldn’t be wearing booty shorts, bikini’s, bra tops or any of those things.

Why? What difference does it make? It's just clothes.

It’s nothing to do with body shaming and everything to do with keeping children away from harmful adult behaviors.

You were really out of order I’m afraid. Not your place to police her outfit even if it was inappropriate.

If she had been a 9yr old lad in shorts but no top on, would you have told him to go and put on a t-shirt? Because that is the male equivalent of a bikini top on a hot day.

To a predator, what you wear doesn't matter.

If that was the case, would you be ok with her wearing a corset and suspenders?

Whilst I too think it's really inappropriate for girls that age to dress like that, it's absolutely none of my business if they do. You can't go round telling girls who are not your own DD how to dress, whatever your view of their outfit.

Looks like you'll have to walk your own bloody dog now. Yay you.

If it doesn’t matter then you’d all let your children go around naked at 9 if they wanted to? Wouldn’t matter who saw them or was near them

Of course not. Doesn’t change the fact that children should be children.

you have probably caused that poor girl years of problems by being ashamed of . her body
I was abused as a child but these days it is a norm for skimpy clothes I often see my granddaughter and think that she wears a lot less than I ever got away with at her age but this is the way fashion is these days. good luck to them
I hope you would not be so rude to your own granddaughters

It is you that it's making more of some clothing than the child and the child's family.

You are being massively unreasonable and I hope you haven't done harm to her confidence.

I hate the sexua;isagoon of chi;stem too. But I wouldn’t have told the child off.. it’s not my place.
Instead get angry at retailers who manufacture this stuff aimed at ‘tweens

It’s not the norm. 9 year old children wear what their parents buy for them.

I have a 10yo and whilst she runs around in swimsuit, or bralet and knickers in our garden, I would not allow her to wear a crop top in public.

... but that's my decision as a parent. I also don't let her have a phone, drink juice, or have too much screentime, which lots on here would think nuts. I would never ever dream of saying something to a parent who WAS letting their child do these things.

OP plenty of young wear athleisure wear in the form of crop tops or sports bras. They are for training/ comfort and not sexualised. Honestly I think you have way overstepped.

I’d be doing more than calmly knocking if you spoke to my boys like that. Mind your own damn business. I’m also a victim of child and adult SA.